Mirthright

A short time ago our bishop gently prodded the priesthood brethren to make sure they were current with their ward budget payments. I’m not sure that the two incidents are related, but the program handed out the following Sunday listed the closing hymn at sacrament as number 27, “Due What Is Right.”

William D. Thomas, Westminster, Colorado

We couldn’t help but smile when our little three-year-old granddaughter, who was visiting with us, showed that she could give the family prayer all by herself. And we certainly had to agree with her when she prayed for the prophet, “Special W. Kimball.”

Merrill Willis, Wentworth, Missouri

Our two-year-old daughter sat on her mother’s lap as we went through the naming game, of “nose, mouth, knees, and toes.” When I couldn’t stump her with “teeth, tongue, or eyebrows,” I tried one which perplexed her. Smiling, I finally said, “Those are your temples!” Rebekah quickly turned to her mother with concern and said, “But mommy, where are my churches?”

Dennis Miller, Idaho Falls, Idaho

My husband, who had been getting on faithfully with his genealogy, remarked innocently one morning, “I wonder if I will get my death certificate today!”

To make matters worse, our daughter, who had been practicing some batik, asked, “Have you anything I can dye in?”

Joan P. Pearce, Whiltey Bay, England

My son and his bride of a few months were outside working in their garden. Starting out side by side, they began weeding two rows of potatoes. Soon she was quite a distance ahead of him. He stood up, brushing dirt from his hands, and said, “I don’t see how you do that so fast.”

She looked up and replied with a big grin, “Oh, it’s easy. I took a speed weeding course.”

Mrs. Charles P. Kohrman, Richfield, Pennsylvania

In a recent Young Singles Relief Society lesson, we were discussing some of the signs of the times. Listing some of the best known of these signs, we soon reached the scriptural phrase which tells us that in the last days “the love of men shall wax cold.” Asked whether this was one of the prophecies of the latter days which has already been fulfilled, the class confirmed that it was. To that, one of the single sisters in the back added in a doleful voice: “We here can testify to that!”

M. H. Maughan, Holladay, Utah

Our 2 1/2-year-old daughter has always insisted on naming her own dolls without the help of her mom and dad. We were amused when she named her three dolls “Jenna,” “Jennifer,” and “Jennaphine.” Upon receiving a new doll, she again thought carefully for another name. This time we were even more amused when we heard her calling this new doll “Jennyology.”

Susan Matsumura, Bennion, Utah

My four-year-old son Christopher was putting on his Sunday clothes one general conference Sunday when I reminded him that we weren’t going to church today; instead, we were going to watch it on TV. His reply was, “Oh—yeah, that’s right. It’s conscience.”

Sandy Siddoway, Bountiful, Utah

While teaching a Gospel Doctrine class on Church history, I was reviewing the Presidents of the Church we had studied. One of our activities was to match well-known quotations with the President who said it. For instance, “This is the place,” for Brigham Young, and “As man now is God once was …” for Lorenzo Snow.

At one point I deviated a little and instead of a quotation I sang the first line of “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief.” Most of the class chose John Taylor, while a few picked the Prophet Joseph Smith. The best answer, however, came after class. With a twinkle in his eye, one brother informed me that he’d matched it with Heber J. Grant. “After all,” he said, “He’s the one who couldn’t carry a tune.”

Elizabeth Pew, Mesa, Arizona

Illustrated by Scott Greer