I am confused about the Lord’s counsel to “turn the other cheek.” If a person is abused, taunted, or persecuted, must he or she simply endure it without complaint? When and how should we defend ourselves?

LaRae Clarke, associate dean of student life, Ricks College. The idea of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth was part of the Mosaic law. (See Lev. 24:19–20.) However, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught his disciples that he had come to fulfill the law of Moses and to replace retaliation with understanding, love, and the ability to distinguish between sin and sinner—to denounce and even hate sin, but to love and forgive the sinner.

He said, “Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:

“But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” (Matt. 5:38–39; see also 3 Ne. 12:38–39.)

At least one Jewish sect adopted a philosophy similar to the one Jesus advocated. For the hasidim, a sect founded in Poland in the eighteenth century, “the recommended form of behavior for the hasid was to always be among those who do not return an insult,” all the while remaining as if they were “deaf and dumb” to their persecutors’ taunts. (A History of the Jewish People, ed. H. H. Ben-Sasson, Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard Univ. Press, 1976, pp. 551–52.)

In Matthew 18:21–22, we read that Peter asked Jesus, “How oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?”

And Jesus answered, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven.”

In the context of Jesus’ teachings, it would appear that “seventy times seven” means as often as one is sinned against. Because he taught his disciples to “turn the other cheek” and forgive others, it is clear that Jesus was opposed to retaliation.

But, beyond that, Jesus set forth a procedure for dealing with abuse, taunting, and persecution:

“If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” (Matt. 18:15.)

As a mission president’s wife, I saw this procedure help solve several serious problems between missionary companions. Missionaries sometimes told my husband about how their companions annoyed them. The problem could be how one dressed, brushed his teeth, or made his bed. It might be about her personal cleanliness, cooking, speech habits, or table manners. Though many of the issues they struggled over were of little importance, their actions and sharp words could cut deeply.

Usually, when my husband spoke to the missionary who was offended, he would ask, “Have you discussed this problem with your companion?”

More often than not, the missionary’s answer was, “No. I cannot talk with my companion; he will not listen to me.”

My husband encouraged the companions to sit down together and try to resolve the problem in a loving manner. “You can say almost anything to anyone without offense if you’ll keep your voice low and remember to smile,” he said. “In any event, do not retaliate.”

Most times, the missionaries’ talk helped their relationship, and they were able to solve their own problems without my husband’s intervention.

What if talking about the problem with the person involved doesn’t solve it? What do we do then? We may need to seek help. And the Lord has outlined the way to do so in the next verse of Matthew 18: “If [the persecutor] will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.” (Matt 18:16.)

In my employment at Ricks College, I have dealt with students who have been the targets of abuse, taunting, and persecution. One young woman came to see me to tell me that her roommates had violated the college’s code of honor. She had tried to persuade them to cease, and they had taunted her and called her a “Molly Mormon” because she would not participate in their questionable activities.

When talking with them failed, she reported the infraction to the head resident, who also tried to persuade the girls to desist from their wrongdoing.

After repeated violations, the case was referred to me. The offending girls admitted their violations and discussed the problem with me, their bishop, and their parents. They agreed that there would be no recurrence of the problem and that they would attend church and family home evening and participate in apartment prayer. If necessary, I might also have asked them to obtain counseling through the Ricks College counseling service or through LDS Social Services. Thus, the young woman who came to me was able to defend herself, and the abuse she endured eventually gave way to love, peace, and harmony in their apartment.

The Lord’s counsel to “turn the other cheek” and, if necessary, to seek help, generally will work in dealing with insults, scorn, taunts, and verbal persecution. But what if persecution is physical or life-threatening? Must we simply endure it without complaints? Are we ever justified in defending ourselves?

We can find the answers to many of these questions in the Book of Mormon. Mormon wrote that the Lord told the Nephites who fought under Captain Moroni, “Ye shall defend your families even unto bloodshed.” (Alma 43:47.) The Lord had also told them that “Inasmuch as ye are not guilty of the first offense, neither the second, ye shall not suffer yourselves to be slain by the hands of your enemies.” (Alma 43:46.)

In the Doctrine and Covenants, we read similar counsel to the Saints who endured the persecution of mobs in Missouri. The Lord told the Prophet Joseph Smith, “If men will smite you, or your families, once, and ye bear it patiently and revile not against them, neither seek revenge, ye shall be rewarded.”

The Lord continued: “If your enemy shall smite you the second time, and you revile not against your enemy, and bear it patiently, your reward shall be an hundredfold.

“And again, if he shall smite you the third time, and ye bear it patiently, your reward shall be doubled unto you four-fold;

“And these three testimonies shall stand against your enemy. …

“If that enemy shall escape my vengeance, that he be not brought into judgment before me, then ye shall see to it that ye warn him in my name, that he come no more upon you, neither upon your family. …

“If he shall come upon you or your children … I have delivered thine enemy into thine hands;

“And then if thou wilt spare him, thou shalt be rewarded for thy righteousness.” (D&C 98:23–30.)

Though there are clearly some cases in which we should defend ourselves and our families, particularly when our lives are endangered, the Lord wants us to do all we can to preserve peace. In fact, the Book of Mormon tells us that when the Nephites began to seek vengeance, the Nephite army began to lose battles and was eventually destroyed.

Even when disputes are solved peacefully, we may find it difficult to forgive those who have injured us. “We are all prone to brood on the evil done us,” says President Gordon B. Hinckley. “That brooding becomes a gnawing and destructive canker. Is there a virtue more in need of application in our time than the virtue of forgiving and forgetting?” he asks. (Be Thou An Example, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1981, p. 49.)

We must constantly strive to forgive those who persecute us; in fact, the Lord says that we should not only forgive those who persecute us, but also love and pray for them. (See Matt. 5:44; see also Luke 6:27–28, 35; 3 Ne. 12:44.)

Learning to forgive and to endure persecution can actually strengthen us, as Elder Paul H. Dunn points out. “The way to deal with trouble,” he says, “is not just to bear it strongly, but to use it. Let us think of it as a problem to solve, let us use it as a hill to climb. It may seem difficult, it may be hard to endure. … But what would life be like if we never climbed any physical hills and never solved any mental and spiritual problems? No wonder the Savior told us to rejoice and be exceedingly glad in the presence of persecution!” (Meaningful Living, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1968, p. 84.)

A true follower of Christ does not simply “turn the other cheek” unceasingly, but, when necessary, seeks reconciliation and solutions to problems peacefully, in genuine friendship. If we are unable to solve a particular problem ourselves, we may appeal to others to help us. Only when absolutely necessary should we defend ourselves by other than peaceful means.