“Thy Will Be Done,” Ensign, Jan. 1991, 59
“Thy Will Be Done”
Many years ago, I learned a valuable spiritual lesson: our Heavenly Father knows what is best for us, and we need to submit to his will. Sometimes we don’t understand why, but we can be assured that his decisions are in our best interest. We must trust him completely.
My thirteen-year-old daughter suffered from serious juvenile diabetes. Her blood sugar was impossible to control. The doctor did his best, but he warned me that she might not live through her teens. I bought several books and tried to learn all I could about diabetes.
One morning my daughter revealed that her ankles were swollen. My heart sank; I suspected that her kidneys were failing. I was frightened, but I had decided that I would always show a calm, cheerful exterior, no matter what developed, so that my daughter would not be alarmed. I told her we had better go see the doctor that day.
The doctor did several tests, then told me that this was the beginning of the end and that I should prepare myself. My heart squeezed into a tight little ball of pain and fear. My thoughts raced frantically as I tried to decide what to do. Then my thoughts halted as I remembered the principle of faith. I remembered that Jesus had said if we have sufficient faith, we can move mountains. I thought, Heavenly Father can do anything. He can heal my daughter’s kidneys. I love him, and I love the gospel. I know I can have enough faith because I cannot bear to lose this precious daughter.
Just as soon as I got home, I went to my bedroom and locked the door. I told myself, I will pray so fervently and with so much faith, our daughter will be healed.
I pleaded humbly with the Lord, but a voice inside me said, “You should say, ‘Thy will be done.’”
I said, “No! No! I can’t do that, because if I do, my daughter will die.”
All that day, and for several days afterward, I knelt and begged Heavenly Father to heal my daughter. The voice kept telling me that I should say, “Thy will be done,” and I kept saying, “No, I can’t do that!”
Each morning I hurried to my daughter’s bedroom and looked at her ankles. Each morning they were still swollen.
After a week had passed, I felt certain Heavenly Father wasn’t going to heal her. I knew I had to say, “Thy will be done,” but I just couldn’t. I decided to fast until I could. I fasted and prayed all day, and by evening I was able to say it. I felt the tears scald my eyes. I was sure that my daughter would die. I didn’t know how I could ever bear it, but I knew that Heavenly Father would help me to face it if she did.
The next morning my heart was heavy. I couldn’t bear to go to my daughter’s bedroom, so I just called the other children to get up. A few seconds later, my daughter came into the kitchen.
“Mom! Mom! My ankles are thin again!” she exclaimed.
I hugged her as tears streamed down my cheeks. Then I hurried to my bedroom, shut the door, and fell to my knees to thank Heavenly Father. I apologized for my lack of trust. I didn’t know it was his will that she live.
Illustrated by Paul Mann