I have some friends and relatives who have had negative experiences with Church members. How can I encourage them to learn about the gospel in spite of those experiences?

Alan Cherry, Sunday School Course 16 teacher in the Provo Fifteenth Ward, Provo Utah Bonneville Stake. By ourselves we can do much, but influencing anyone’s interest in eternal truth is a task we are more suited to assist in rather than direct. Notwithstanding shared childhood experiences, common interests, and loving ties that bind our lives together, penetrating the preoccupations of relatives and friends requires more than our personal efforts—especially with loved ones who have had negative experiences with Church members. We need divine help and the compassionate assistance of righteous people.

If we want to make a difference in helping our relations and friends, we must begin by calling upon God, who loves them and desires to help them. If we “get together with the Lord,” he will help us work it out.

The Lord knows those we want to reach. He knows what they need. And he has designs for touching them that probably include our most valiant efforts. He will surely make us instrumental in influencing their well-being if, like Enos in the Book of Mormon, we dedicate, increase, and intensify our exertions to be a significant influence in their lives.

Many of us know all too well the provocations that may have offended our loved ones. We may have endured more negative experiences from other members than our offended relatives and friends have encountered. We know how they feel. However, while Church members see the misconduct of fellow members as obligatory hurdles on the way to the celestial kingdom, our nonmember loved ones often see the negative actions of Latter-day Saints as representative of the entire Church. It is important, therefore, that we reach out freely to others—whether they embrace the Church or not—in such a way that we invite them to treasure our friendship as more than mere gesture.

There is usually no instant ointment for soothing hurt feelings, but a continual outpouring of compassion and trying to be as Christlike a member as we can be will do much to heal the emotional wounds. Our loved ones may never have a greater human influence in their lives than our personal expressions of righteousness.