“I Will Trust in Thee Forever”

Upon graduating from Brigham Young University, I married. My wife, Man-jun, and I left for Japan, where a new job and a new life awaited us. I had served a mission in the “land of the rising sun,” so I viewed our move with great excitement and anticipation.

However, toward the end of our first year, this excitement and anticipation gave way to the realization that not everything was happening as we had hoped. We desired to have a family, but to our great disappointment we were informed that we would have to wait. Man-jun would need to take medicine for several months, and the doctor stressed that it could be dangerous for our baby’s health if Man-jun got pregnant while she was on the medication.

We followed the doctor’s instructions carefully, so it was with disbelief and amazement that we discovered several months later that we were going to be parents. Although we were thrilled, we nevertheless realized the danger to our baby. Our hearts sank.

The doctors were quick to tell us what to do. To them it was an easy and obvious decision—have an abortion. But to us, it was a most difficult dilemma. How could we destroy the chance for one of our spirit brothers or sisters to experience mortality? The circumstances seemed to indicate that this child was meant to be part of our family at this time. And so with prayer, we made the decision not to have an abortion.

Though I felt calmness and confidence, a turbulent storm raged in Man-jun’s heart; every time she visited the doctor, he would warn her of the danger of our decision. I tried to comfort her, but at times it seemed as though I was fighting a raging fire with only a splash of water. My heart ached to see her in such turmoil, and I too began to feel frustrated because of my inability to comfort her.

Then one night when I returned home from work, I found my dear wife crying. She had been to the doctor again that day, and he had urged her once more to have an abortion. “Give me a blessing,” she quietly requested with tear-filled eyes.

I called the bishop and asked if he could assist in giving the blessing. As we waited for him to come, Man-jun and I shared our thoughts, feelings, and tears. Then a voice seemed to say to me, “Share 2 Nephi 4:34 [2 Ne. 4:34] with her.” I picked up our Book of Mormon and we read: “O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh.”

That one short passage of scripture, coupled with the blessing that followed, calmed the storm in Man-jun’s heart. Now she too felt peace and confidence, an assurance that the Lord intended this child to be part of our family.

The trips to the hospital became easier, and the doctors began to reluctantly accept our decision to have the baby. However, one doctor angrily warned us one last time: “Don’t forget, we advised you to have an abortion. So, if your baby is born with a cleft palate or some other serious defect, it’s your fault!” We smiled and assured him that he need not worry about us.

It has been nearly six years since our daughter was born with no complications or defects. She is a beautiful little girl who brings joy into our home. And as the Chinese characters for her name suggest, to us she is a “meaningful spirit.” I am grateful to my Father in Heaven, who gives us his loving guidance and direction.

Illustrated by Doug Fakkel