“My Religion Forbids It”

In August 1987, I was serving in the United States Marine Corps as a lieutenant colonel stationed near the Red Sea at Aqaba, Jordan. As part of my assignment, I had developed a plan for port security and harbor defense. To test the plan, we needed the cooperation of the Jordanian coast guard and as little interference as possible from the Israeli gunboats patrolling nearby. Neither was a sure thing.

One of the Arabic social customs is drinking thick, dark Turkish coffee from communal cups. Often the Jordanians would offer visitors the coffee as a gesture of hospitality; to refuse it offended them, and they would withdraw the hand of friendship.

I knew that my time would soon come to be offered the Turkish coffee. I started rehearsing responses: “Sorry, the stuff keeps me awake,” or “I’d like some, but it gives me indigestion.” But these dishonest excuses felt flat on my tongue.

After a few days of working with a young Jordanian captain whom I’d grown to like, he handed me a cup of the coffee. As I looked from the viscous brown drink to his expectant dark features, all my excuses flashed through my mind. I hesitated, and then I told the truth: “My religion forbids it.”

I prepared myself for a look of hurt and rejection, but instead the captain put the coffee cup down and began a rapid-fire series of questions about this strange religion from America. Did I drink tea? What about alcohol? He’d noticed that I didn’t use tobacco—was that part of the religion too?

Rather than feeling offended, the captain respected the fact that I was trying to live my religion. He became my champion. Whenever the coffee was thrust at me after that, he explained in Arabic why I didn’t indulge in it. Such episodes always brought curious questions but never any hard feelings.

I’m not proud of the fact that my first inclination when faced with crisis was to resort to meaningless excuses—but I’m glad that I ultimately was able to do the right thing. Telling the truth blessed me because I kept a friend and completed my military assignment successfully.