Dekhrekh Ke Niyam, February 2019

Humdardi Jataa ke Dekhrekh Karna

Dekhrekh aage badhana hai. Hum logh sakta aur sab koi ke aage badhawe jab hum logh samjhe ke koshish karega u logh konchi anubhav kare hai aur dekhaega ki hum logh mangta usme u logh ke saath dewe.

Kyunki hum logh ke Swarg ke Pita maange ki hum Unke rakam bano, hum logh ke i jiwan lachunaoti long sake sikhe la maoka bane agar hum long Uspe bharosa karega aur Uske maarg pe rahega. Durbhaagye se, is maarg pe tika rehna kaafi mushkil rehwe sake jab hum long sochega u mushkil long ke hum long akele saamna karta hai.

Lekin aise kabhi nahi raha ki i maarg pe hum long ke akele chahata raha chalo. Uddhaarkarta ne sampurn humdardi dikhaya, sab tarah ke peeda ko saha taaki Woh jaan sake hame hamare kasht aur durbaltaon me kaise sahayta kare (dekhiye Alma 7:11–12; Doctrine and Covenants 122:8). Woh humse chahata hai ki Uske uddharan par chalein aur humdardi bhi dikhaae. Girjaghar ke har ek sadasye ne vachan liya “dukhi logon ke saath dukhi honge; haan, aur unhe dillaasa deh jinhe dillaasa ki zaroorat hai”(Mosiah 18:9). Hamare apne chunaotiyon ke bawajood, hamein skripchas bhar me sikhaya jaata hai baahar ki taraf mudne ko aur “durbal haatho ko uthaao, aur kamzor ghutno ko [mazboot karo]” aur “apne raaho ko sidha rakho, ki aysa na ho jo kamzor hai unhe raaste se hata diya jaae” (Hebrews 12:12–13; Isaiah 35:3–4; Doctrine and Covenants 81:5–6bhi dekhiye).

Jab hum dusro ka haath thaamte hai, unhe hum apne upar nirbhar hone do, aur unke saath chalo, hum unhe raaste pe tab tak sambhaalte hai jab tak Uddhaarkarta unhe badal na dein—dekhrekh ka ek mukhye vajah—par changaai bhi dilaae (dekhiye Doctrine and Covenants 112:13).

Humdardi Kya hai?

Humdardi hai kisi aur insaan ke ehsaas, soch, aur stithi ko samajhna unke nazariya se na ki apne.¹

Humdard banna zaroori hai dusro ki dekhrekh karne ke hamare koshish ke liye aur apna iraada pura karne me jaise dekhrekh ke bhaai aur bahan hone ke naate. Yeh hameh anumati deta ki hum apne aap ko kisi aur ke stithi meh rakhte hai.

Kisi Aur ke Stithi me Hona

Ek kahani batlaai gayi hai ek sharmile Antim-din Sant aadmi ki jo aksar chapel me akele piche ke seat pe baethta tha. Jab elders korum ka ek sadasye achanak guzar gaya, bishop ne elder ke parivaar waalon ko pristhud ashirvaad diya unhe dilaasa dene ke liye. Sahayak Sanstha ki bahano ne bhojan laaya. Jaan-pehchaan waale doston aur padosiyon ne parivaar se bhent kiya aur kaha, “Hamein batana agar hum kuch madad kar sakte hai to.”

Lekin jab is sharmile aadmi ne us din parivaar se bhent kiya, usne doorbell bajaya aur jab us vidhwa ne darwaaza khola, usne yeh kaha, “Hum aap long ke juta safa kare aaya hai.” Kuch hi ghanto me, parivaar ke saare jute saaf ho gaye aur chamakne lage the antim sanskaar ki taeyaari meh. Uske baad waale Raviwaar ko us mrit elder ka parivaar us sharmile aadmi ke saath piche waale seat me baethe the.

Yahan ek aadmi tha jisne ek zaroorat ko pura kiya. Donon weh logh aur yeh aadmi ko ashish mila uske humdardi-jatane waale dekhrekh se.

Hum Kaise Sakta Humdardi Jatawe?

Kuch logon ke paas woh ashish hota hai humdardi jatane ka. Lekin jo isme mushkil ka saamna karte hai ke liye, achcha khabar hai. Pichle 30 saalo me, kayi researchers ne humdardi par adhyan kiya. Jabki kayi log is vishay ko alag tarah se lete hai, zyaada karke log isse samarth hai ki humdardi seekha jaa sakta hai.²

Hum humdardi ke uphaar ke liye praathna kar sakte hai. Sudhaar laane ke liye, yeh bhi faaedemand hai ek behtar samajh hona ki kaise humdardi kaam karta hai. Diye gaye sujhaao aam taor pe swikaar kiye jaate hai humdardi ke asool ki tarah.³ Jabki yeh sab aksar hota hai hum sab jaante hi nahi ki woh ho raha hai, unki baare me jaankaar rehne se hamein ek maoka milta hai sudharne ke maoko ko dekhne me.

1.Samajhiye

Humdardi ke liye dusre insaan ke stithi ka kuch samajh chahiye. Jitna achchi tarah hum unke paristhiti ko samjhenge, utna aasaan ho jaaega unke ehsaas ko samajhne me aur kaise madad karna hai jaanne meh.

Achchi tarah se sunna, sawaal puchna, aur unke aur dusro ke saath salaah mashora karna zaroori kriya hai unke stithi ko samajhne ke liye. In vichaaro ke baare me aur seekhiye pehle ke Dekhrekh Ke Niyam ke lekh me:

• “Paanch Cheezein Achcha Sunnewaale Karte Hai,” Liahona, June 2018, 6.

• “Unke Zaroorato ke Baare Me Salaah Karo,” Liahona, Sept. 2018, 6.

• “Dusro Ko Shaamil Karna is Dekhrekh me—jaise zaroorat ho,” Liahona,Oct. 2018, 6.

Jab hum samajhne ki khoshish karte hai, hame samay lekar unke khaas stithi ko samajhna chahiye na ki kisi aur ke usi tarah ke anubhav pe anumaan lagana. Nahi toh, hum samajh nahi paaenge aur unhe uljhan me chodh denge.

2.Socho

Apna vachan ko nibhaane meh dukhi ke saath dukhi hona aur unhe dillaasa dena jinhe dillaasa chahiye, hum praathna kar sakte hai ki Pavitra Aatma hamein samajhne me madad karega koi kya mehsoos kar raha hai aur kaise hum madad kar sakte hai.⁴

Ek baar hum kisi ke paristhiti ko samajh lenge, hum sab—chaahe khud aaye ya nahi—soch sakenge ki hum us stithi me kya sochenge ya mehsoos karenge. Un vichaar aur bhaonaaon ko samajhna, Pavitra Aatma ke maargdarshan me, hamein madad kar sake is stithi me jald kaarye karne me.

Jab hum samajhne lagte hai kisi ke paristhiti ko aur sochne lagte hai woh kaisa mehsoos karenge, yeh zaroori hai ki hum unpe galat dosh na lagae (dekhiye Matthew 7:1). Koi ke dosh dena ki kaahe weh logh is stithi me aais se hum logh sakta is achcha se u long ke prashansa nahi kare.

3.Jawaab

Hum kaise jawaab dete hai zaroori hai kyunki usi tarah hamara humdardi dikhta hai. Anginit tarike hai hamare samajh ko batane ka dono bol ke aur binbole. Yeh yaad rakhna zaroori hai ki hamara lakshye sirf mushkil ko hal karna nahi hai. Aksar lakshye hota hai upar uthaana aur mazboot karna unhe yeh bata ke ki woh akele nahi hai. Iska matlab ho sakta hai yeh kehna, “Mujhe khushi hai aapne mujhe bataya” ya “Mujhe afsos hai. Isse takleef hui hogi.”

Har baar hamara jawaab sachcha hona chahiye. Aur jab sahi lage, dusro ko apne durbaltaaon aur dar ko dikhaane se ek anokha rishta ban sakta hai.

Kaarye Kare ke Nimantran

Jab aap dekhrekh kare la logh ke paristhiti ke baare meh sochega, u logh ke stithi meh apne aap ke rakhna aur aap konchi sabse faedemand paaega agar aap u logh ke jagah par rahega. Samajh ke liye praathna karo ki kaise weh logh mehsoos kare hai aur khayaal karte raho. Aapka jawaab saadharan hoga, lekin arthpurn rahega.

© 2019 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc. All rights reserved. USA me chaapa gaya. Angrezi swikriti: 6/18. Anuwaad swikriti: 6/18.Ministering Principles, February 2019. Hindi, Fiji. 15763 298

Not

1. Dekhiye W. Ickes, Empathic Accuracy (1997); aur M. L. Hoffman, Empathy and Moral Development: Implications for Caring and Justice (2000).

2. Dekhiye, uddharan ke liye, Emily Teding van Berkhout and John M. Malouff, “The Efficacy of Empathy Training: A Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials,” Journal of Counseling Psychology (2016), 63(1), 32–41.

3. Dekhiye, uddharan ke liye, Brené Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) (2008); Theresa Wiseman, “A Concept Analysis of Empathy,” Journal of Advanced Nursing (1996), 23, 1162–67; and Ed Neukrug and others, “Creative and Novel Approaches to Empathy: a Neo-Rogerian Perspective,” Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 35(1) (Jan. 2013), 29–42.

4. Henry B. Eyring, “The Comforter,” Liahona, May 2015, 18.

Ishu Masih Humdardi se Dekhrekh karta Tha

Jab Uddhaarkarta Nephitiyon ko prakat hua, Usne unhe padhaya jab tak Woh jaan gaya ki, unke vartamaan stithi me, woh sab kuch nahi samajh sakte theh jo Woh unhe sikhana chahata tha. Lekin Woh yeh bhi janta raha ki weh logh nahi mangta raha ki Woh jaae.

Uske jawaab raha susamachaar samjhawe ke bajae un logho ko saansaarik zaroorato ke dekhrekh karna—nimantran diya unko ki weh apan beemaar, kamzor, andhe, ya langdeko laane ke liye.Usne unhe changaa kiya. Phir Usne unke aur unke bachcho ke liye praathna kiya aur, har ek ke saath samay bitaya unhe ashish dene ke liye.

Hum Uddhaarkarta ke uddharan se kya seekh sakte hai humdardi se dekhrekh karne ke baare meh Nephitiyo meh?

“Dekhrekh ke Niyam” ka iraada yeh hai ki hum logh ke madat karv sikhe ke ki hum logh kaise ek dusre ke dekhbhaal kare sakta—na ki sandesh ke rakam batawa jaai bhent kare ke samay. Jab hum logh jaan jaata unko jiske sewa karta, Pavitra Aatma hum logh ke prerna dei janane ke liye ki weh logh ke kaun sandesh ke zaroorat hai hum logh ke dekhbhaal aur daya ke alaawa.