How Losing My Mother to COVID Helped Increase My Faith

By Elder Ifanomezana Rasolondraibe

Area Seventy

“As a medical doctor, I tried to save her life. When she passed away, the moments of doubt that followed required me to increase my faith to feel peace.”

Last Easter during general conference, President Russell M. Nelson called on us to increase our faith.¹ These last few months have been rather challenging for my family—physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. Between March and May this year, a second surge of the pandemic hit Madagascar, my home country, in an unprecedented way, completely overwhelming the health system. Many people and even doctors were asking questions like, “What is happening to us?” “Where is God?” and “Are we such bad people to deserve such a calamity?”

Our family has not been spared, as my wife and I, most of my siblings and their spouses, and my parents were infected. My mother, my wife and I, having a more serious form of the disease, had to be hospitalized and were put together in a single room. After ten days of treatment and improvement, my wife and I were discharged with a recommendation to rest in bed for several more weeks.

My mother was left alone. Her feeling of loneliness turned to depression, as none of us could visit her. She then requested to be brought home and treated by me, a medical doctor. We all reasoned with her, as it was impossible to meet her oxygen needs at home. As her condition worsened, she became angry with all of us, and her desire to go home became a command. We finally were all convinced to bring her home as we miraculously found a solution to her oxygen supply needs. Once home, she slowly improved each day. But on the following Sunday morning, she suddenly went into cardiorespiratory arrest before my eyes. I immediately started, with the help of my brother, the best—and longest—resuscitation I have ever provided. We finally had to resign ourselves to the fact that she would pass away. With my eyes filled with tears, I signed the official medical death declaration for the woman who gave birth to me.

After comforting my loved ones, my mind became filled with questions and doubts. Had I, as a doctor, done something wrong in the care I had provided to my mother? Did we make the wrong decision in bringing her home? Those moments of doubts and questioning required me to work on increasing my faith to feel peace.

I received a call from Elder S. Mark Palmer, the Africa South Area President, who ministered to me with so much love. As I reported how my mother passed away for a reason I did not understand, he said: “As a doctor, you do not understand. But as a servant of the Lord, you do.”²

I have always had a strong faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, but what Elder Palmer said helped me get back on the right track.

President Nelson, in his address, gave several suggestions³ to help us increase our faith. May I relate how I worked on some of them.

Study. I studied President Nelson’s address during last general conference and was reminded of Alma’s invitation to experiment upon the word and “exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if [we] can no more than desire to believe.”⁴

Yes, it was easy for me to choose to believe in Jesus Christ. But in order to allow the Atonement to fully apply to me I needed to work harder. This provided an opportunity for me to remember and to ponder upon the Savior’s ministry, and His infinite Atonement. I soon felt my faith growing and my hope increase. And I had an eternal perspective on the events of the last few weeks.

My heart swelled with gratitude as the Spirit helped me to recognize the hand of the Lord in so many details of these events and His perfect timing. Even behind my mother’s request to be brought back home. This allowed my mother for her last few days in her mortal life to be with her loved ones, feel more peace, and see her beloved doctor son taking care of her. Indeed, the Lord blessed me with this unique opportunity to be close to her whilst trying to provide the best medical care I could. I am so grateful for the precious moments of that Saturday afternoon I spent with her a few hours before she died, discussing nonmedical things. My siblings and I have never been as close as we were when we were all united in taking care of my mother and later, of my widowed father.

I remember that when mom was dying, and as I still felt her weak pulse during the resuscitation treatment, I laid my hands upon her head with the intention to give her a priesthood blessing to command her to stay with us, but my mouth could not utter what I intended to say. Instead, I said a silent prayer for the Lord’s will to be fulfilled and the outcome to be the best for her and for all of us.

This was indeed the best option, under the Master’s hand. As taught by Elder Neil L. Andersen, my faith grew as “a gift from heaven that comes as we choose to believe and as we seek it and hold on to it.”⁵

The “act in faith” part, apart from following President Nelson’s and Alma’s invitation, also consisted of writing and sharing my testimony to my relatives and through social media, and through this article I was invited to write. Yes, my increasing faith in Jesus Christ helped me feel His love and removed the mountain of doubts before me.

I know Jesus Christ loves me and each one of us. I know we can rely upon that love and that “the trial of [my] faith [is] much more precious than . . . gold,”⁶ as the trials we experience are there to help us increase in faith and be blessed.

May we all have that desire to work on increasing our faith in Jesus Christ to be able to remove the mountains before us, and to receive the blessings our Heavenly Father desires to bestow upon us.

Ifanomezana Rasolondraibe was named an Area Seventy in April 2019. He is married to Felambolafotsy Cardiss Keithy Suman Ratsitobaina; they are the parents of three children. Elder and Sister Rasolondraibe reside in Antananarivo, Madagascar.