“Helping Children Discover the Joy of Service,” Liahona, Feb. 2023, United States and Canada Section.
Helping Children Discover the Joy of Service
Here are some suggestions to help our children learn the Christlike attribute of service.
One of my fondest childhood memories is shivering in our car with the windows opened a bit as we waited and listened for our neighbor. My family had spent hours painting cute figures on giant barrels, and we had secretly delivered them to a young boy with muscular dystrophy. He would use them to do special exercises to build his muscles. We heard squeals of laughter and joy as he discovered the surprise on his front porch. I was excited as well to be a little girl who had helped make that boy so happy. I had discovered the joy of service.
As parents and adults, it is our responsibility—indeed, our quest—to teach our children to not just believe in Christ but be His disciples as well. This is one of our primary goals in our eternal parenting. It’s important to help our children gain testimonies of the truthfulness of the gospel, the Book of Mormon, and the Savior. But we have even greater joy when our children become deeply committed to be disciples of Christ.
In teaching our children to be like Jesus, we can point to His example of service to others. As we do the things He did by serving our brothers and sisters, we become more and more like our Savior.
Throughout the account of Christ’s ministry in the New Testament, we see Him constantly serving. In the Book of Mormon, the Lord tells us what to do to become like Him: “This is my gospel; and ye know the things that ye must do in my church; for the works which ye have seen me do that shall ye also do; for that which ye have seen me do even that shall ye do” (3 Nephi 27:21).
King Benjamin taught his people what parents should do:
“Ye will teach them [your children] to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.
“And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish” (Mosiah 4:15–16; emphasis added).
And “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” states, “Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness … and to teach them to love and serve one another.”1 This is wise counsel to all of us and illustrates the importance of service in our efforts to become disciples of Christ and our duty to teach our children to serve.
For a long time, many of us have relied on service projects through the community or the Church to help teach our children to serve. It is even more effective for our children to learn to serve through family service. With our focus on the Children and Youth program, making service a part of our family experience will help them become more like our Savior. Such service can be very helpful for children who struggle with their faith. Some children have a hard time feeling the Spirit when told to sit still in church or quietly read the scriptures. These children will often feel the Spirit in a very personal way when they are actively serving others.
Family service is a great experience for the whole family. But where can we start?
Start at Home
Start where it’s easiest—at home! You can begin by encouraging your children to do secret favors for their siblings, help each other with work around the home, or help Grandma and Grandpa. Make this into a fun game!
And give them lots of opportunities to help Daddy and Mommy. I loved it when my four little boys brought me breakfast in bed as a surprise! Even cold toast tasted good! You can teach them that service feels good and makes people happy.
“When you do anything to … build up unity and strength through service, you are laying a solid foundation for everything you do in your home.”2 Doing service together at home becomes a foundation for how we support one another and build strong bonds between family members.
Expand to the Community
Next, you can expand to the community. Begin locally doing small things and then build outward.
Many families begin by serving at church—taking their young children to help clean the meetinghouse, delivering meals to families they minister to, and helping with Church activities. You can participate in formal community events or do projects on your own.
My friend related, “My dad loved to sing and he played the guitar, and we’d go sing at nursing homes—much to our embarrassment. But it makes you more compassionate and aware. I’ve taken my children to go visit the seniors every week, and they loved it.”
Our daughter-in-law has had our grandchildren help deliver meals to homebound seniors, and they have really enjoyed the experience. The children are developing charitable hearts.
You can even stretch your family service throughout the world. There are many organizations doing humanitarian work that would welcome your family’s participation and support!
Incorporating Service into the Family
You can incorporate service into your family in a variety of ways. Any way you do it will be a blessing to your children.
Set up family experiences to teach kindness, charity, and compassion. The children will be thrilled to have actual experiences to share and discuss. During these activities, talk about the Savior and connect what you are doing to Him.
Bear your testimony of service often! The Spirit will have an opportunity to witness to your children’s hearts the truth of your words. These words can touch your children deeply and leave lasting impressions.
Finally, make it fun! Play games, dance, sing, create, dress up—whatever it takes! Make the entire experience so much fun for the children that it becomes irresistible. Not all projects will be fun—some should be very serious—but wherever possible, have fun along the way.
Helpful Points
Plan well. Nothing can kill a project faster than inadequate planning. Involve the children in the planning! They will develop wonderful organizational skills.
Make the projects as hands-on as possible. Actions speak louder than words. Children learn by doing and experiencing. There is a big difference between Mom and Dad providing the money and little Emma doing chores to earn the money and then donating. Making things and then actually taking them to donate is very different from just having Grandma drop them off.
Reinforce the process. Part of the family experience is the conversations that occur before, during, and after the service activity. Talk about why you’re doing this project. After the project is done, talk about how family members feel, what they learned, and what contribution was made. Developing charity is a process of becoming. Talking about and reinforcing that is crucial.
Let the Spirit Guide You as a Family
People often ask, “What should we do?” and “Where do we start?” I would say, start with Heavenly Father. I testify that the Spirit will guide you as parents to those things that will be marvelous opportunities for you and your family to serve. Pray. Listen. Be patient. Be brave. And you will be guided.
And always remember: it is all about love. We merely need to follow our Savior’s call:
“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:34–35).
The author lives in Utah.