Finding Meaning in the Wait

By Lori Fuller Sosa

Church Magazines

Christ gives us the strength and grace to love where we’re at and to look forward to the future.

I have five older sisters who all got married in their early twenties. Growing up, I expected my life to look just like theirs—but it didn’t. I graduated college with no fiancé or serious relationship prospects, started a career, moved back in with my parents for a while, traveled, bought a house, had amazing roommates, and charted my own course. I never felt at all excluded in my family, but there were times that I felt very single and wanted a husband and children like my sisters had.

And wasn’t that what God wanted for me too?

I wasn’t always lonely, of course. And I certainly knew that God hadn’t abandoned me—I had many amazing blessings in my life. I was able to focus on my spiritual and mental health, I volunteered and met incredible people, and I had the time and energy to serve in unique ways. When I felt discouraged, I kept telling myself that I was learning and growing and that God was aware of me.

Worth the Wait

Eventually I did get married, and it was absolutely worth the wait. A few days after our wedding, I had this very clear thought: “I am so grateful for the wait. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

I was honestly a bit surprised by this moment of revelation. Wouldn’t I have wanted to meet my husband much sooner? But for me, I was a better person and spouse because of all I had learned and experienced while waiting for this eternal blessing. I would have missed out on so much growth without that time.

Of course, one person’s timing isn’t better or worse than another’s. The timing of marriage is up to you and God, and growth can happen at any stage of life—married or unmarried, with or without children, etc. And I would continue to keep learning and growing; obviously marriage isn’t a final destination in our growth and spiritual development. But for me, there were crucial experiences that would likely not have happened under other circumstances, and I am grateful for how they have shaped who I am.

Room for Contentment and Hope

One night, years before meeting my future husband, I came across this scripture in Philippians: “For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need” (4:11–12).

This scripture amazed me. Paul was writing about difficulties very different than my own, but the message for me was that it’s possible to have both peace and happiness in our current circumstances and hope for the future—at the same time. I could be both full and hungry. I could live my life to the fullest and be grateful for the time I had to be single, and I could hope and work toward marriage. There was room for both.

And how was this possible? The answer is in the next verse: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). Christ gives us the strength and grace to love where we’re at and to look forward to the future.

Not Wasting the Wait

I have gone back to these scriptures over and over again. They apply to so much more than just being single. We are constantly in different waiting periods in our lives—waiting on blessings or answers or major life changes. My husband and I right now have been waiting and hoping to have children. I’ve watched as sisters and friends have gotten pregnant and had children while we’ve prayed and waited for the same blessing.

This wait has been hard and often heartbreaking, but there have been many blessings and opportunities at the same time. I have been able to complete a graduate degree, grow within my career, create a home where family and friends feel loved and welcome, continue to serve in Church callings and volunteer, and seek personal revelation and direction. My husband and I are trying to use this time to become the type of people (and hopefully future parents) that God wants us to be. We can’t shorten the wait, but we can try not to waste it.

Sometimes it’s hard to keep this perspective. Like Paul wrote, sometimes we’re “full” and other times we’re “hungry.” It’s through Christ and His grace that we’re ever able to be both together, to find that careful balance between contentment and hope. Where so much of life is made up of waiting, I’m trying not to miss the blessings and lessons that can come at the same time.