“How a Childhood Christmas Tradition Blessed My Family,” Liahona, Dec. 2024, United States and Canada Section.
How a Childhood Christmas Tradition Blessed My Family
My family’s cherished Christmas custom became a way for us to connect with each other and God.
illustration by Nina Hunter
I was raised in a family with many traditions I loved and looked forward to. But as a parent, establishing family traditions has sometimes left me feeling exhausted and frustrated. They take work! Still, these traditions have been a profound blessing to my individual development, family relationships, and connection to God.
Family traditions help us come together as a family regularly, intentionally, and creatively. We feel love for one another through shared experiences, challenges, and conversations. Lastly, we remember the fondness of these times by repetition.
Creating a New Tradition
One of my favorite Christmas traditions is “candle time.” When I was 10, my mom and I created a “Candle Time Book.” We decorated a binder and filled its pages with a Nativity Advent calendar and 25 Christmas scriptures, poems, songs, and stories to share with the family each day leading up to Christmas.
That December, my siblings and parents and I gathered each night around the Christmas tree. With only the lights of the tree and our designated candle, we sang the Christmas carol and read the scripture, poem, and Christmas story from the binder for that day. We always ended with a family prayer. The fragrant candle, soothing voices of our parents, and shared blanket on the floor with my siblings created irreplaceable memories that helped my family grow closer with each passing December.
When I was 15, my mom was diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer. In the blink of an eye, our family felt the weight of overwhelming new stresses, fears, and changes. That year, candle time was a profound refuge from the storms of sadness and uncertainty.
A few years later, after my mom passed away, we continued holding the tradition each Christmas. It took on new meaning as we remembered her voice, her touch, and her love.
Letting Go to Create New Memories
Fast forward a decade. I was married and had three children when I got ahold of the family candle time binder. I could hardly contain my excitement to recreate the sacred and sweet memories of my childhood. However, the first night of candle time was a disaster. Pillow fights, scuffles over personal space, and bickering among my children resulted in the candle falling over and spilling melted wax on our carpet. This wasn’t how I remembered candle time!
My husband and I reflected on our family situation and talked about ways to help my childhood tradition become our family’s tradition. We learned that a family tradition must be realistic, unique, flexible, and viewed as an opportunity rather than an obligation. Identifying the purpose behind the practice increased our potential for peace and joy. Reframing my view of candle time and letting go of a set ideal helped me claim joy rather than guilt. I now look forward to our candle time, and my children love it as well.
Finding Joy in Traditions
President Russell M. Nelson taught:
“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.
“… Joy comes from and because of [Jesus Christ].”
Family traditions may not always be free of stress or conflict, but when focused on the Savior, they have the potential to nurture joy, fortify our families, and draw us closer to our Heavenly Father.
The author lives in Tennessee.