5. Developing Mental Resilience

Missionary work places many demands upon people, and these demands affect each person differently. The abilities you have will help you to accomplish God’s work. You can trust Him to make up the difference between your abilities and what is needed. The suggestions below may help you with some issues. Refer to the section “1. Developing Resilience under Stress” for additional ideas.

A. Learning a New Assignment

Starting a new assignment can be stressful. Be patient with your supervisor, your coworkers, and yourself. Try not to get discouraged or upset as you are learning your assignment. Typically, you will figure things out within a few days. Here are a few tips to help you as you begin your assignment. You might discuss these things with your service mission leader.

• Settle in. Learn your way around. Take care of any paperwork. Set up your work area. Get to know the names of your coworkers and supervisors.

• Be of good cheer. Make a decision to work every day on having a positive attitude at work. Even if you’re tired or unsure of what is expected, choose to be friendly. Be positive even if you don’t enjoy your tasks or the people you work with. This will help you succeed. It will help those around you learn to trust and appreciate you.

• Show up. Be on time for all assignments, dressed appropriately and ready to begin. Look around for ways to help out and get involved. Let people see that you are willing to try new things and practice new skills.

• Study. If you receive videos or written material explaining your job, study them carefully. Take notes on things you need to remember. Be especially aware of safety rules. Also take note of rules about privacy or confidentiality. Learn the standards expected for doing your work successfully.

• Ask questions. Politely ask your supervisor and coworkers about anything you don’t understand. You might carry a small notebook for writing down questions and answers that you can refer to later. Be patient with those training you if they don’t explain things clearly. Try repeating what you heard. Ask, “Did I get that right? Is there anything else?” Ask your supervisor about his or her expectations for you. Ask what matters most in doing your job well.

• Look for unwritten rules. Every workplace has its own way of doing things. Some of these things are not written down, even though they are important. Such unwritten rules may include how to handle disagreements and where and when to eat. Other rules may include how much creativity is acceptable and what to do with work that isn’t completed before the workday ends. Watch for these unwritten rules and try to follow them.

• Be patient with yourself and others. You will make mistakes! This is part of learning anything new. Apologize to others, and ask them how you can fix your mistakes. Find out what you should do next time, and try again. Don’t dwell on mistakes—yours or anyone else’s. Learn and move forward with a positive attitude. You will learn to do your job well.

  

Elder Cecil O. Samuelson taught: “All of us are ‘works in process.’ We can be worthy while still needing improvement. Be sure that you do not have higher standards for yourself or others than the Lord has established. Find satisfaction in your progress while acknowledging that perfection may still be distant.”

“What Does It Mean to Be Perfect?” New Era, Jan. 2006, 11–12

B. Staying Organized with Goals and Plans

• Keep a calendar or planner. At the beginning of each week, put your appointments on your calendar or planner. Include work assignments, church meetings, and other commitments such as reading scriptures and praying. Write down names, appointments, goals, and lists of things you need to do.

• Don’t rely just on your memory. Check your calendar or planner throughout the day. For important things you need to do, post reminder notes on the door, on the fridge, or by your bed. Set reminders on your phone.

• Put everything you will need the next day in a specific place. Do this before you go to bed. Then you won’t forget something important. Keep your important things in the same place. That way you won’t waste time looking for them.

  

• Ask for help remembering things. When you need to remember something that is not part of your usual routine, ask others to help you remember. You can say, “I know this is the kind of thing I’m likely to forget. Can you remind me if I forget?”

• Stay focused on what you are doing. When you notice that you are distracted from a missionary activity, turn your attention back to your task. Do this as often as you need to.

• Decide on goals. As it is useful to you, define goals in each category below. Make a plan for what you will do. Add your plan to your calendar or planner each week.

  • Physical goals such as exercising, developing healthy eating and sleeping habits, taking care of your room or work setting, managing money, helping out at home, or playing sports.

  • Emotional goals such as taking time for rest or reflection, meditating, writing about feelings or experiences, taking breaks, or spending time in nature.

  • Social goals such as doing things with friends and family, participating in young single adult activities, helping others, working on family history, interviewing family members about their lives, or learning and practicing social skills.

  • Mental goals that will make you a better servant of the Lord, such as taking classes, learning a language or a musical instrument, reading, exploring job interests, or developing job skills.

  • Spiritual goals such as praying more sincerely, studying the scriptures more thoroughly, acting on spiritual promptings, participating in your ward or branch, attending the temple, or serving others outside of your mission assignments.

• Turn your day over to the Lord. Do what you can to schedule your time and use it well. Then at the beginning of your day, turn the day over to the Lord. Ask the Lord to make it possible for all things to work together for your good. Throughout the day, be flexible and responsive to the Spirit.

  

C. Overcoming the Feeling of Not Being Capable

• Keep your sense of humor when you make a mistake. Apologize for what you did wrong and then try again. Remember that being willing to apologize is a sign of resilience and strength.

• Find the strength in a weakness. Sometimes having a weakness helps us develop strengths like compassion and empathy. Striving to overcome a weakness can teach us patience, humility, and reliance on the Lord. Sometimes a weakness such as being easily distracted has a strength that goes with it. You may notice things that others miss. Look for the strengths that might come from your weaknesses.

  President Thomas S. Monson declared: “Your Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there.”

  “We Never Walk Alone,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2013, 123–24

• Work on your weaknesses. Work on one weakness at a time so you won’t get overwhelmed. Get ideas from others. Pray for guidance and help. Make a plan for overcoming your weakness. Think through obstacles you are likely to run into, and think about how to handle them. Practice. Adjust your plan if needed. Be patient.

• Refocus your attention on your personal mission. Do you feel jealous of someone else’s skills? Put your energy into developing your strengths and contributing them to the work. This is your mission.