Counseling Resources

What doctrine can help individuals overcome pornography problems?

One of your responsibilities as a Church member is to teach and testify of the pure doctrine of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This can be done by teaching the doctrine of Christ, which is that all must have faith in Jesus Christ, repent of their sins, be baptized, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end. See these addresses, which are also available at “Addressing Pornography” section on ChurchofJesusChrist.org:

“The Power of Teaching Doctrine”

“The Doctrine of Christ”

“Focus on the Doctrine of Christ”

“Follow the Doctrine and Gospel of Christ”

Individuals are responsible for resolving their own challenges with pornography. They must take responsibility for their own lives and the changes they need to make. As you engage in inspired discussions with individuals, guide them to seek personal revelation regarding solutions. Encourage them to seek spiritual self-reliance through efforts to understand and apply the doctrine of Christ. Study and prayer are essential to this process.

Individuals are also responsible for understanding and addressing the pain their pornography use has caused others. As you work with them, guide them to embrace this responsibility and do what they can to make restitution.

Overcoming pornography may be difficult. Individuals should work to identify and address the unique factors that influence their use of pornography. It is important to note that spiritual solutions, although important and helpful in overcoming pornography, are often only part of the complete solution. Individuals should consider exploring biological, psychological, and social issues, which frequently play a role in pornography use.

Teach the Doctrine

As you teach those struggling with pornography, work together to determine which doctrine may help them address the influences that affect their behavior. President Boyd K. Packer taught: “True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of the gospel” (“Little Children,” Ensign, Nov. 1986, 17).

The basic doctrine taught in seminary and institute is a useful guide for identifying which doctrine to focus on (see “Basic Doctrines”). Teach the doctrine by using gospel resources such as the scriptures and general conference addresses.

Minister with charity as you teach, and focus on helping individuals recognize the Holy Ghost in their lives. Encourage them to discover how to grow through their challenges with pornography. Consider asking inspired questions about their progress; their growing understanding of themselves biologically, psychologically, socially, and spiritually; and their development of Christlike attributes. Guide individuals to understand how the power of Christ can transform them and shape who they are becoming.

Focus your teachings on helping individuals understand repentance and the power of Jesus Christ and His Atonement. It can also be helpful to encourage them to seek information about healthy sexuality, proper sexual expression, and the role of a sex drive within the boundaries God has established.

Doctrinal Teaching Examples

The following examples highlight challenges commonly faced by individuals struggling with pornography and provide doctrine that may help with these challenges. Pray with each individual to help him or her to identify the specific doctrine most needed right now.

Loneliness and Isolation

Individuals struggling with pornography often experience feelings of loneliness and isolation. They may lack social connection with others. Understanding the doctrine of the Godhead can help individuals feel love from and connected to Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. Seek to teach the divine nature and roles of each member of the Godhead.

Resources

• God loves His children (see Moses 1:39).

• God establishes commandments and standards to keep us safe and happy. These commandments bless us in this life and in the life to come (see Mosiah 2:41).

• Jesus Christ redeems us from our fallen state. We are subject to sin and pain (see Alma 42:4–6). There is no way for us to reclaim our own souls from this fallen state (see Alma 42:12–13). The only way we can be redeemed is through Jesus Christ and His Atonement (see Alma 42:15).

• Repentance helps us use the power of Jesus Christ and His Atonement (see Alma 42:22–23).

• Repentance requires that we recognize our sin, feel remorse, attempt to heal the pain others experienced, confess, and forsake sinful behavior (see Mosiah 4:2; Doctrine and Covenants 58:43). If we are to fully take advantage of the miracle of forgiveness, we must experience a “mighty change of heart” (see Mosiah 5:2; Alma 5:12–14).

• The Holy Ghost witnesses of Jesus Christ (see 3 Nephi 28:11; Doctrine and Covenants 20:27), helps us to know of our potential (see Romans 8:16–17), and can be a constant companion to us (see David A. Bednar, “Our Constant Companion” [video], ChurchofJesusChrist.org).

Shame and Hiding

Feelings of shame often lead individuals to hide their behavior. Shame makes individuals feel that they are bad people and unworthy of forgiveness. On the other hand, guilt leads individuals to recognize mistakes and seek to repent and change. Understanding the plan of salvation helps us use the power of agency and accountability. Jesus Christ and His Atonement eliminate shame and help us repent, grow, and change.

Resources

• Elder D. Todd Christofferson distinguished between guilt and shame in his talk “The Voice of Warning,” given in the April 2017 general conference (see Ensign or Liahona, May 2017, 108–11).

• Shame and guilt can also be understood by studying divine worth and worthiness (see Joy D. Jones, “Value beyond Measure,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2017, 13–15; Wendy Ulrich, “It Isn’t a Sin to Be Weak,” Ensign, Apr. 2015, 30–35).

• Change is a process that requires patience (see Ezra Taft Benson, “Born of God,” Ensign, July 1989, 2–5; David A. Bednar, “Ye Must Be Born Again,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2007, 19–22; David A. Bednar, “Converted unto the Lord,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2012, 106–9).

Confusion about the Role of Sexuality

Inappropriate or false beliefs about the role of sexual expression may emerge through pornography use. The plan of salvation clarifies the important role of sexual expression and its purpose in the creation of families and loving marital relationships. Teach that the plan of salvation and other doctrine help to place value on the worth of a soul rather than the dangerous distortions and objectification found within pornography.

Resources

• Heavenly Father created the plan of salvation so that we can experience life, return to His presence, and have joy. Central to this plan are the spiritual, emotional, and physical unity developed in marriage and family life. He gave us the capacity for sexual intimacy so that we could strengthen and grow our eternal families. He intends for sex to be a beautiful, powerful, and joyful part of our lives—not something evil or corrupt. Sexual intimacy enables a husband and a wife to have children, express love, and strengthen their spiritual, emotional, and physical bonds. Sexual intimacy is an important part of marriage, and when it is used in the way that God has commanded, it brings great blessings and joy. (See Matthew 19:5–6; Matthew O. Richardson, “Three Principles of Marriage,” Ensign, Apr. 2005, 20–24.)

• One of the reasons we came to earth was to gain a physical body and be tested (see Preach My Gospel [2018], 50). God gave us the sacred power of procreation as part of our physical bodies. When properly used, this power can bring us joy (see Boyd K. Packer, “Ye Are the Temple of God,” Ensign, Nov. 2000, 72–74).

• When we misuse and break God’s laws, we will bring great unhappiness to ourselves and to others (see Preach My Gospel, 52; Jeffrey R. Holland, “Personal Purity,” Ensign, Nov. 1998, 75–78).

• One of the purposes of this life is to prove to God and to ourselves that we will appropriately use the power of procreation (see Boyd K. Packer, “The Plan of Happiness,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2015, 26–28).

• When we use self-control to safeguard our procreative powers properly and do everything else God asks us to do, these sacred powers will be a lasting blessing to us and to our posterity (see James E. Faust, “Message to My Grandsons,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2007, 54–56).

• Satan does everything he can to convince us to misuse the sacred powers of procreation—powers that he will never possess (see Dallin H. Oaks, “The Great Plan of Happiness,” Ensign, Nov. 1993, 72–75).

• Pornography is a tool that Satan uses to cheapen the sacred powers of procreation and to portray them as nothing more than a lust to be satisfied (see Richard G. Scott, “To Acquire Spiritual Guidance,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2009, 6–9; Richard G. Scott, “The Sanctity of Womanhood,” Ensign, May 2000, 36–38).

• Pornography can lead to other sins that violate our sacred covenants (see Dallin H. Oaks, “Pornography,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2005, 87–90; Doctrine and Covenants 42:22–23).

As you listen to individuals discuss the challenges they face, you will be guided to determine the doctrine that best meet their needs. These examples are just a few ways to approach teaching doctrine.

Encourage Individuals to Apply Gospel Doctrine

Help individuals strive to understand doctrine relative to their unique needs. The Holy Ghost can prompt individuals to identify specific ways to apply truth in their lives. Encourage them to commit to live according to the promptings they receive, the commandments of the Lord, and the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This is a lifelong process for all who seek to be disciples of Jesus Christ.

The following concepts are additional doctrine that may help individuals struggling with pornography use.

Accountability

Each of us is a child of God. Because of that divine identity, we have gifts, such as agency, and responsibilities, such as accountability.

Accountability to oneself, others, and the Lord is key to progression. Teach individuals the dangers of pornography and how it violates God’s standards. Help them understand that they cannot move forward without taking ownership of harmful and inappropriate behaviors.

For bishops and branch presidents: This includes confession. Sometimes it may take several meetings before those using pornography fully disclose inappropriate conduct. As you meet with them, help them understand the relationship between justice and mercy and how these truths relate to confession and accountability. Use sensitivity, love, and warmth to inspire and encourage. Take care to avoid shame or coercion. A membership council should not be held to discipline or threaten members who are struggling with pornography (see General Handbook: Serving in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints [2020], 32.8.2).

Regular Prayer and Scripture Study

Regular prayer and scripture study are essential to a mighty change of heart. Teach individuals to pray specifically, asking for forgiveness and exercising faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Individuals may also receive strength by studying the Book of Mormon daily (see Russell M. Nelson, “The Book of Mormon: What Would Your Life Be Like without It?” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2017, 60–63). Invite them to regularly search for general conference addresses and Church magazine articles about pornography and spiritual goals.

Faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ

Individuals must believe they can change. Seek to be positive and realistic with them as you review principles of faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Teach them that the smallest desire to begin a process of change can lead to progression (see Alma 32:27–28). As individuals nurture their faith and apply what they are learning, they can grow their faith to sustain a mighty change.

A Process, Not an Event

Repentance is a joyful process that takes time (see Dale G. Renlund, “Repentance: A Joyful Choice,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2016, 121–24; Stephen W. Owen, “Repentance Is Always Positive,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2017, 48–50). Just as creating a bad habit takes time, so does developing healthy Christlike behaviors. Regular prayer, scripture study, and development of faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ aid this process.

It is not required, and neither is it very realistic, that an individual be perfect going forward or that he or she immediately experiences a mighty change of heart. Rather, he or she must move forward with real intent to seek forgiveness, eliminate sinful conduct, and make measured progress. Additionally, someone who is viewing pornography must also recognize and take responsibility for the pain that behavior is causing and the erosion of trust it creates in his or her relationships. This may include making restitution and should include being honest with the spouse, if the individual is married.

Testify often of the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and His capacity to help people change. The Atonement of Jesus Christ brings joy (see Mosiah 4:2–3).