“Facing Challenges: Ministering to Others,” Emergency Preparedness (2023)
Facing Challenges: Ministering to Others
Introduction
During difficult trials, it is important for us to support and strengthen each other (see Doctrine and Covenants 112:11). Consider the recommendations described below. You might also discuss ideas for helping others with your family, a Church council, or your support system. In your generous efforts to care for others, remember to practice compassion toward yourself as well.
Ideas of What to Say and Do
These principles and ideas can help you minister to others. As you discuss these principles, consider additional words and actions that can help as well as those that might not be helpful.
Express Compassion
Show others that you care about them. You might say things like:
-
“We love and care about you.”
-
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
-
“I’m here for you, and I can listen.”
It is OK to just sit quietly with the person. Just being there conveys support.
Allow Others to Express Their Feelings
Ask questions to help others explain their experiences, but avoid forcing them to talk about feelings or subjects they aren’t ready to discuss. You might consider questions like:
-
“What worries you the most right now?”
-
“What strengths do you see in yourself and in others?”
-
“What concerns do you have about the future?”
-
“How might your faith help?”
Empathize and Normalize Responses
Show others that you care about their individual experiences. Help them recognize that it’s all right to not feel OK. They might be feeling sad, angry, confused, lost, numb, guilty, helpless, or many other emotions. You might say things like:
-
“I don’t fully understand the pain you are feeling, but I know that this must be hard for you.”
-
“There are no ‘wrong’ emotions. Any emotions that you are feeling are OK.”
-
“It’s common to feel like our thoughts and emotions are beyond our control.”
-
“Everyone responds differently—it’s OK to feel strong and to be doing well, and it is OK to struggle.”
If they are struggling with sleep, headaches, stomachaches, appetite, daily routines, and spiritual practices, help them recognize that these are common responses. Help them be patient and gentle with themselves.
Ideas to Help Others Manage Emotions and Stress
Invite others to reestablish routines and practice healthy coping strategies such as:
-
Focusing on physical health, including proper nutrition, hydration, exercise, sleep, and hygiene.
-
Following their doctor’s advice, such as taking prescribed medications.
-
Limiting news and social media to reduce exposure to unnecessary stress.
-
Serving others according to their capacity.
-
Identifying their next steps and sharing the steps with others they trust.
-
Recognizing that everyone’s experience and response to crisis is different.
-
Practicing mindfulness, meditation, and breathing exercises.
-
Remembering that recovery and healing take time.
-
Focusing on one day, hour, or minute at a time.
You might ask questions such as:
-
“What are your coping strategies? What has helped you cope with difficulties in the past?”
-
“How are you taking care of your physical health as well as your mental health?”
-
“How is your faith helping you? How are you relying upon the Lord?”
Offer Hope
During intense crisis situations, consider the timing of expressions of faith and hope. They may not be helpful at this time. Consider these statements to connect and offer hope:
-
“I’m here with you; I hear you.”
-
“I know people who can help.”
-
“I’ll keep checking in with you.”
-
“I’ll give you the space that you need, and I’ll be available to help and be with you as well.”
Additional Considerations
It can be helpful to just be there for someone. This might be connecting through phone calls or by sending text messages so that people know you are thinking of them. Your presence can be calming and comforting. Offer to talk or spend time together while respecting their privacy and need for space.
Listen actively. Focus on the person and listen with your heart. Don’t be distracted by thinking about how you’ll respond to what she or he is saying.
Remember that everyone is different and will respond to challenges differently. Allow others to experience challenges in their own way.
Ask questions about how others are feeling and what they are experiencing. Avoid assuming you already know how they feel.
Encourage and allow others to express how they feel. Avoid forcing them to talk about feelings or subjects that aren’t freely shared.
Pray together. Prayer invites the Spirit and can bring peace and comfort.
Be cautious about sharing stories from your past. It’s important to focus on each person and his or her experience.
Find additional resources you can provide if needed, including credible sources of information, scriptures or talks, or other ways to find support. The document “Facing Challenges: A Self-Help Guide” could be a helpful reference. If someone wants community resources or professional support, help them connect with their ecclesiastical leaders or other trusted adults who can assist them in making appropriate contacts.
Continue to be present with those who are struggling, even when you are not sure what to say or do.
Additional Resources
-
Discussion Guide: How Can I Minister to Others During a Crisis?
-
Well-Being Video: “Caring for Those That Mourn”
4:3