Ephesians 5:21–33; 6:1–4

Christlike Relationships

Family relationships are some of the most rewarding we can experience in mortality. Relationships with parents, siblings, and spouses can bring great joy but can also produce challenges. Paul taught that we can look to Jesus Christ as the example for healthy and happy relationships with family members. This lesson can help you follow the Savior’s example to improve your relationships with others.

Student preparation: Invite students to think about members of their family and identify one thing they love about each of them.

Possible Learning Activities

This lesson is focused on family relationships. Please consider students’ family circumstances while preparing and teaching this lesson. Be sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Ghost and students’ needs.

Your family

Write down the names of your immediate family members and one thing you love about each of them.

Invite a few students to share something they love about one of their family members.

Consider this statement for each family member: “I treat this family member the way I feel the Savior would want me to treat them.” Then rate the way you treat each family member using the following scale.

As you study today, think about the relationships you have with your family members and how you can follow the Savior’s example of loving and helping them.

Paul provided counsel on family relationships

It is important to note that Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:22–24 were written in the context of the social customs of his era. Prophets and apostles today teach that men are not superior to women and that spouses should be “equal partners” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org). Though the customs of Paul’s time were different, you can still find relevant counsel in Paul’s teachings. One truth Paul emphasized is we can follow the example of the Savior in how we treat members of our family.

It might be helpful to read the following scriptures as a class and stop several times to allow students to identify examples of how the Savior treated members of His Church and how this relates to family relationships.

Read Ephesians 5:21–27; 6:1–4, looking for evidences of this truth. As you study it may be helpful to know that “submitting yourselves one to another” (Ephesians 5:21) refers to a willingness to work together and love and care for one another, and “fear of God” (Ephesians 5:21) means love and respect for God.

Discuss these verses as a class. Consider using the following discussion questions, or think of other questions that could deepen students’ understanding of Paul’s teachings in these verses.

• What are some ways the Savior showed His love for the Church and gave Himself for it?

• How does knowing how Christ gave Himself for the Church make you feel about Him?

• How should a husband feel toward his wife if he follows the example of how the Savior feels toward His Church?

• What counsel did Paul give that can apply equally to both husbands and wives? other members of the family?

• What can you do now to prepare to one day treat your spouse the way the Savior would treat them?

• How can obeying and honoring your parents help you become more like Jesus Christ?

Look at the following images and match them to these scripture accounts: Luke 2:51–52, John 2:1–11, and Luke 22:39–42. Think about how the Savior was an example of loving, obeying, and honoring His earthly and heavenly parents.

Show the following images and invite students to use the scripture accounts to explain how the Savior treated His earthly and heavenly parents.

• In what ways did the Savior love, obey, and honor His parents? How do you think His actions affected His relationship with His parents?

• What are some ways you honor and obey your parents?

• How has following the example of the Savior blessed you and helped you strengthen family relationships, or how do you think it could?

Practice being like the Savior

Help students to consider real-life instances of how to follow the Savior’s example. The following activity is one way to do this.

Alternatively, one of the videos in the “Commentary and Background Information” section under the heading “What can I do to strengthen my family relationships?” could also provide a modern example.

Write a typical interaction between a teenager and a family member where it might be difficult to treat the other family member as the Savior would treat them. Once you have created an interaction, write how you think the Savior might respond and why. Remember how the Savior felt and acted toward others.

Examples could include:

• A parent is critical of the way a child spends their free time.

• A sibling takes another sibling’s possession without asking and lies about it.

Invite students to share the scenarios they wrote and how the Savior might treat the people in the scenario if He were present.

Follow the Savior’s example

Reflect on your relationships with members of your family. Think about times when you have followed the Savior’s example and treated others in Christlike ways. Also, allow the Holy Ghost to help you know what you could do to follow the Savior’s example of loving others.

Write down what you feel you could do to emulate the Savior in your family relationships. Consider sharing what you wrote with your teacher or a parent to help you follow through with what you feel prompted to do.

Some students’ family members may not respond to their actions in loving ways. Be sure to encourage students and testify that as they follow the Savior’s example, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will be pleased with their actions.

Commentary and Background Information

Ephesians 5:22–24. What should we understand about Paul’s teachings in these verses?

Paul taught that all members of the Church should submit themselves to one another, or in other words, place others ahead of themselves (see Ephesians 5:21). He then explained how the principle of submitting oneself applied in family and household relationships. Verses 22–24 can easily be misunderstood and misapplied in our day. Latter-day prophets have clearly taught that husbands and wives and mothers and fathers should fulfill their sacred duties as “equal partners” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org). If couples are truly united, then any sacrifice made on behalf of one’s spouse inevitably brings blessings to oneself; thus, “he that loveth his wife loveth himself” (Ephesians 5:28).

How can a husband or wife treat their spouse as the Savior would?

President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910–2008) stated:

Happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. Any man who will make his wife’s comfort his first concern will stay in love with her throughout their lives and through the eternity yet to come. (Anchorage, Alaska, regional conference, June 18, 1995)

(“Speaking Today: Excerpts from Recent Addresses of President Gordon B. Hinckley,” Ensign, Apr. 1996, 72)

Elder L. Whitney Clayton of the Quorum of the Seventy stated:

I have observed that in the happiest marriages both the husband and wife consider their relationship to be a pearl beyond price, a treasure of infinite worth. They both leave their fathers and mothers and set out together to build a marriage that will prosper for eternity. They understand that they walk a divinely ordained path. They know that no other relationship of any kind can bring as much joy, generate as much good, or produce as much personal refinement. Watch and learn: the best marriage partners regard their marriages as priceless.

(L. Whitney Clayton, “Marriage: Watch and Learn,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2013, 83)

What can I do to strengthen my family relationships?

“Honor your parents by showing love and respect for them. Obey them as they lead you in righteousness. Willingly help in your home. Participate in wholesome family activities and traditions. Join your family in family prayer, family scripture study, and family home evenings. Keeping these commandments strengthens and unifies families” (For the Strength of Youth [booklet, 2011], 14–15).

You might read the following article, which suggests ways to build and strengthen relationships: “Ministering Principles: Building Meaningful Relationships,” Ensign, Aug. 2018, 6–9.

Consider watching one or more of the following videos, all available on ChurchofJesusChrist.org, which show examples of people striving to follow the example of the Savior in how they treat others.

• In the video “You Are My Hands” (from time code 10:26 to 12:39), President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, then of the First Presidency, speaks about how we can be the Savior’s hands.

• In “Enduring Love” (4:16), a couple loves and serves one another even though they must endure debilitating physical adversity.

• In “Home and Family—Through Small Things” (3:33), a bishop challenges three youth to learn what it takes to make their home a holy place.

• In “Mothers and Daughters” (5:06), young women in Alberta, Canada, talk about why their mothers are such good examples for them.

• In “Fathers and Sons” (6:02), a young man shares how he worked to improve his relationship with his father.

Supplemental Learning Activities

Alternate ways to begin the lesson

To help students think about how Jesus Christ gave us a pattern to follow in our family relationships, consider using one of the following alternate activities to begin the lesson.

Quote and questions

Invite students to read the following statement by Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915–1994) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

One day I was admiring a beautiful hand-finished quilt made by a skilled seamstress. As we visited together, I learned that she had made many quilts over the years and was well known for her excellent handiwork. To my query, “Do you ever make one of these quilts without a pattern?” she said, “How would I know how it might turn out if I didn’t have a pattern to follow?”

(Marvin J. Ashton, “A Pattern in All Things,” Ensign, Nov. 1990, 20)

Consider asking questions such as “When have you followed a pattern?” or “What are the benefits of following a pattern?”

Demonstration and scripture passage

Demonstrate, or invite a student to demonstrate, something while the class follows along (such as looking something up on the Family Tree app or folding an origami creation). Consider asking a follow-up question like “How did it help to have something to follow?”

Invite students to read Ephesians 5:21–33, looking for who Paul suggested we pattern our relationships after.