How do I know if I’m gay?

Things to Think About

If you’re asking yourself whether you’re gay, you’ve probably experienced same-sex attraction and are wondering how to interpret these feelings. Sexual desires are complex and shaped by many factors. While a romantic, emotional, or sexual attraction can signal a sexual orientation, you should not automatically assume that it does. Sexual desire can be fluid and changeable. If you are questioning, you should not feel pressured or rushed to reach conclusions about your sexuality.

Words mean different things to different people, and the definition of a word can change throughout our lives. What does the word gay mean to you? Is it a feeling? An identity? A lifestyle? The usage of the word gay has been changing as society and culture change. Identifying as gay may mean you experience same-sex attraction but choose not to act on these feelings. Or maybe this label describes how you express yourself emotionally, physically, sexually, or politically. If you’re wondering what someone means when they say, “I’m gay,” just ask them.