“Lēsoni 12 Naunau Teuteu ki he Kalasí: Ko Hono Tanumaki ʻo e Vā Fetuʻutaki ʻi he Nofo-malí,” Ko e Fāmili Taʻengatá - Naunau ʻa e Faiakó (2022)
“Lēsoni 12 Naunau Teuteu ki he Kalasí,” Ko e Fāmili Taʻengatá - Naunau ʻa e Faiakó
Lēsoni 12 Naunau Teuteu ki he Kalasí
Ko hono Tanumaki ʻo e Vā Fetuʻutaki ʻo e Nofo-malí
Kuó ke mamata nai ki ha ongo meʻa ʻoku maʻumaʻuluta mo fiefia ʻa ʻena nofo-malí peá ke fifili pe ko e hā ʻa e kī ki heʻena lavameʻá? Naʻe fakamatala ʻa Palesiteni Kōtoni B. Hingikelī ʻo pehē, “ʻOku fie maʻu ha taimi ki he nofo-mali leleí. ʻOku fie maʻu ki ai ha ngāue. Kuo pau ke ke ngāueʻi ia. Kuo pau ke ke tanumaki ia” (“Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 4). ʻI hoʻo ako ʻa e tokāteline mo e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻi he lēsoni ko ʻení, fakakaukau ki he meʻa te ke lava ʻo fai ke ke teuteu ai ki ha nofo-mali fiefia pe ke tanumaki lelei ange ai hoʻo nofo-malí.
Konga 1
Te u langa fēfē mo hoku malí ha nofo-mali ʻoku fiefia mo taʻengatá?
ʻI ha māmani ʻoku ngali faingataʻa pe iku ai ha ngaahi nofo-mali lahi ki he vete malí, ʻe fifili ha niʻihi pe ʻoku malava nai ke nau maʻu ʻa e fiefia ʻi he nofo-malí. Naʻe fakamatalaʻi ʻe ʻEletā Sefilī R. Hōlani ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá ʻa e pōpoaki ko ʻeni ʻo e ʻamanaki leleí:
Tuku muʻa ke u fakahā mahino, fakahangatonu atu pea ʻi he loto fakapapau ʻoku ʻikai ngata pē ʻi he ʻi ai ha meʻa ko e nofo-mali fiefiá, ka ko e nofo-mali fiefiá ko ha meʻa angamaheni ia kae ʻikai tātaaitaha.
ʻOku ou hoko mo Sisitā Hōlani ko ha fakamoʻoni tonu ʻoku ʻikai ngata pē ʻi hoʻo fiefiá ka ʻe lava ʻo ope atu hoʻo fiefiá. …
Kuo pau ke ke ngāueʻi ho nofo-malí. Ko e meʻa lelei kotoa pē ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi ʻi he māmani ko ʻení kuo pau ke ke ngāueʻi ia.
ʻE tokoniʻi koe ʻe he ʻOtuá. ʻI he kotoa ʻo e ngaahi meʻa he māmaní te Ne tokoniʻi ai koé, te Ne tokoniʻi koe ʻi hoʻo nofo-malí mo ho fāmilí, he ʻoku mahuʻinga ia kiate Ia ʻo tatau pē mo ʻene mahuʻinga kiate koé. (“You Asked—They Answered: Marriage and Family,” New Era, Aug. 2016, 3)
Lau ʻa e lea ko ʻeni ʻa ʻEletā L. Uitenei Keleitoni, ʻa ia naʻe hoko ko ha mēmipa ʻo e Kau Fitungofulú, ʻo fekauʻaki mo e meʻa ʻoku tokoni ki ha mali fiefia mo taʻengatá. Fakakaukau ke fakaʻilongaʻi ʻa e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻokú ke maʻú.
Kuó u mātā ʻi he ngaahi nofo-mali fakafiefia tahá hono fakatou lau ʻe he husepānití mo e uaifí fakatouʻosi ko ʻena feohí ko ha mataʻitofe ʻoku mahulu atu hono mahuʻingá, ko ha mataʻikoloa ʻoku taʻengata hono mahuʻingá. … ʻOkú na ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻikai ha toe faʻahinga feohi ia te ne lava ʻo ʻomai ha fiefia lahi ange, fakatupu ha lelei pe lelei fakatāutaha ʻoku lahi ange aí. …
… ʻOku fakavaʻe hono langa ʻo e nofo-mali lavameʻá ʻi he tui ki he ʻEiki ko Sīsū Kalaisí pea talangofua ki Heʻene ngaahi akonakí [vakai, “Ko e Fāmilí: Ko ha Fanongonongo ki Māmani,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org]. …
… ʻOku fakafalala ʻa e nofo-mali fiefiá ki he [meʻaʻofa] ʻo e fakatomalá. …
Ko e loto fakatōkilaló ʻa e uho ʻo e fakatomalá. Ko e loto fakatōkilaló ʻoku ʻikai sio ki he meʻa ʻaʻatá, ʻo ʻikai siokita. … Ko e loto fakatōkilaló, ʻa e fakatou fekumi ko ia e husepānití mo e uaifí ke tāpuekina, tokoniʻi pea fetokoniʻaki mo fakamuʻomuʻa e taha kehé ʻi he fili kotoa pē. …
… Ko e nofo-mali fiefia taha kuó u mātaá ʻoku hāsino ai e talangofua ki he taha ʻo e ngaahi fekau fakafiefia tahá—ke tau “nofo fakataha ʻi he ʻofa” [Tokāteline mo e Ngaahi Fuakava 42:45]. (“Nofomalí: Sio pea Ako,” Ensign pe Liahona, Mē 2013, 83, 84, 85)
Aleaʻi ke Teuteu ki he Kalasí
Fakakaukau ki ha ongo meʻa ʻokú ke ʻiloʻi ʻoku fiefia ʻena nofo-malí. Fetuʻutaki kiate kinaua pea kole ange ke vahevahe atu ʻa e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni kuo mahuʻinga ki heʻena lavameʻá. ʻI heʻena leá, lekooti e meʻa ʻokú ke akó pea mateuteu ke vahevahe lolotonga e kalasí.
Konga 2
ʻE tokoniʻi fēfē au ʻe he muimui ki he sīpinga ʻa Sīsū Kalaisí ke tanumaki ʻeku nofo-malí?
Naʻe akonaki ʻa Palesiteni Lāsolo M. Nalesoni fekauʻaki mo e mahuʻinga ʻo hono tanumaki ʻo e nofo-malí ʻo pehē:
“Oku ʻomi ʻe he nofo-malí ha faingamālie lahi ange ki he fiefiá, ʻo lahi ange ia ʻi ha toe faʻahinga fetuʻutaki ʻa e faʻahinga ʻo e tangatá. ʻI he taimi tatau ʻoku kei tō nounou e ngaahi hoa mali ʻe niʻihi mei heʻenau tuʻunga malava kakató. ʻOku nau tuku ʻenau feʻofaʻakí ke ʻumeʻumea, toʻo maʻamaʻa, fakaʻatā ʻa e ngaahi fie maʻu kehé mo e ngaahi konga ʻao ʻo e fakataʻetaʻetokangá ke ne fakanenefuʻi ʻa e vīsone ʻo e meʻa naʻe mei aʻusia ʻe heʻena nofo-malí. ʻE toe fakafiefia ange ʻa e nofo-malí ʻo ka tanumaki fakalelei ange. (“Nurturing Marriage,” Ensign pe Liahona, May 2006, 36)
Naʻe kau ʻi he fakahinohino naʻe fai ʻe he ʻAposetolo ko Paulá ki he kāingalotu ʻo e Siasí ʻi ʻEfesoó ʻa e faleʻi fekauʻaki mo e malí.
Ako ke Teuteu ki he Kalasí
Lau ʻa e ʻEfesō 5:25, 28–31, pea fakakaukau ki he founga ʻe lava ai ʻe he muimui ki he sīpinga ʻa Sīsū Kalaisí ʻo tokoniʻi ha husepāniti mo ha uaifi ke tanumaki ʻena nofo-malí.
ʻE lava ke tokoni ʻa e muimui ki he sīpinga ʻa e Fakamoʻuí ki ha husepāniti mo ha uaifi ke fakahoko hona “fatongia toputapu … ke na feʻofaʻaki mo fetauhiʻaki” (“Ko e Fāmilí: Ko ha Fanongonongo ki Māmani,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org). Mahalo ʻe lahi ha ngaahi feinga ke tanumaki ha nofo-mali, ka ko e niʻihi ʻo e ngaahi founga lelei mo mahuʻinga tahá ʻoku “iiki mo faingofua” (ʻAlamā 37:6). Hangē ko ia ne akoʻi ʻe Palesiteni Tieta F. ʻUkitofa, ʻi heʻene kei ʻi he Kau Palesitenisī ʻUluakí, “Ko e nofomali leleí ʻoku langa māmālie, mei he ʻaho ki he ʻaho, ʻi he moʻuí kotoa” (“Ko e Fakahīkihikiʻi ʻo Kinautolu ʻOku Fakahaofí,” Ensign pe Liahona, Mē 2016, 78).
Naʻe fai ʻe Palesiteni Linitā K. Peatoni, ko e Palesiteni Lahi mālōlō ʻo e Fineʻofá, ha ngaahi fehuʻi faingofua te tau lava ʻo fakaʻaongaʻi ke vakaiʻi ʻetau ngaahi ngāue ke tanumaki ʻetau nofo-malí:
Ka liliu siʻi pē, ʻe lava ke kaungatonu e ngaahi fehuʻi ko ʻení ki ha tokolahi ʻo kitautolu, ʻo tatau ai pē pe kuo tau ʻosi mali pe tāutaha pea tatau ai pē pe ko e hā hotau tūkunga ʻi ʻapí.
Ko e fē taimi fakamuimuitaha ne u fakahikihikiʻi fakamātoato ai hoku hoá, heʻema toko uá pe ʻi he sio ʻema fānaú?
Ko e fē taimi fakamuimuitaha ne u lotu ai ʻo fakamālō, fakahaaʻi ʻeku ʻofá pe tautapa ʻi he loto tui koeʻuhí ko ia?
Ko e fē taimi fakamuimuitaha ne u longo ai ke ʻoua naʻá ku leaʻaki ha meʻa ʻe fakatupu loto mamahi?
Ko e fē taimi fakamuimuitaha ne u kole fakamolemole ai ʻi he loto fakatōkilalo moʻoni—pea ʻikai fakakau atu ai e kupuʻi lea, “he kapau pē naʻá ke pehē koe” pe “he kapau pē naʻe ʻikai ke ke”?
Ko e fē taimi fakamuimuitaha ne u fili ai ke u fiefia kae ʻikai vilitaki atu ko au ʻoku “tonú”? …
Tau kau fakataha muʻa ʻi he fekumi ki he tokoni ʻa e Laumālie Māʻoniʻoní ke ne akonekina kitautolu ʻi he founga ʻe lava ke tau hiki hake ai e niʻihi kehé ʻi hotau ngaahi fatongia ko e ngaahi foha mo e ʻofefine fuakava ʻo ʻetau mātuʻa fakalangí? (“Te ta Kaka Fakataha,” Ensign pe Liahona, Mē 2015, 31–32)
Fakalaulauloto ke Teuteu ki he Kalasí
Fakakaukau ki ha sīpinga pau pe akonaki mei he moʻui ʻa e Fakamoʻuí ʻe lava ʻo tokoni ki ha taha ke teuteu pe tanumaki ʻene nofo-malí.
Konga 3
Te u pīkitai fēfē ki hoku malí?
ʻI ha fakahā ʻi he 1831, naʻe ʻomi ai ʻe he ʻEikí ha ngaahi fono fakalūkufua maʻá e kāingalotu ʻo e Siasí. Naʻe kau heni ʻa e fekau ke “ke ke ʻofa ʻi ho uaifí ʻaki ho lotó kotoa, pea pīkitai kiate ia kae ʻikai ki ha toe taha kehe” (Tokāteline mo e Ngaahi Fuakava 42:22; vakai foki Sēnesi 2:24; Mātiu 19:5).
ʻOku ʻuhinga ʻa e foʻi lea pīkitai ʻi he folofolá ke puke maʻu, fakapipiki, kuluuʻi pe kau fakataha. “ʻI he fakaʻuhinga fakafolofolá, ʻoku tau ʻilo ai ʻoku finangalo ʻa e ʻOtuá ke tau ‘pīkitai’ ki hotau hoá pe ‘tuʻu fakataha’ mo ia” (Matthew O. Richardson, “Three Principles of Marriage,” Ensign, April 2005, 22).
Naʻe akonaki ʻa Palesiteni Sipenisā W. Kimipolo fekauʻaki mo e kupuʻi lea “ʻikai ki ha toe taha kehe” (Tokāteline mo e Ngaahi Fuakava 42:22) ʻo pehē:
ʻOku hanga ʻe he ngaahi foʻi lea ʻikai ki ha toe taha kehé ʻo taʻofi fakaʻaufuli ʻa e tokotaha kotoa mo e meʻa kotoa pē. ʻOku laulōtaha leva ʻa e malí ʻi he moʻui ʻo e husepānití pe uaifí pea ʻoku ʻikai ha moʻui fakasōsiale, fakaengāue pe fakapolitikale, pe ha toe faʻahinga meʻa pē pe ha toe taha pe meʻa ʻe toe muʻomuʻa ange ʻi hoto malí. (The Miracle of Forgiveness [1969], 250)
Naʻe fakamatalaʻi ʻe ʻEletā Keleitoni ʻa e kaunga ʻo e pīkitai ki hotau malí ʻi heʻetau fakaʻaongaʻi ʻa e mītia fakasōsialé:
ʻOku akoʻi ʻe he kau palōfitá ko e nofo-mali leleí ʻoku “fetauhiʻaki mateaki” ʻa e ongomeʻa malí [vakai, Thomas S. Monson, “Mālohi ʻo e Lakanga Fakataulaʻeikí,” Ensign pe Liahona, Mē 2011, 68; Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” 4]. ʻOkú na tauhi ke māʻoniʻoni maʻu pē ʻena fakaʻaongaʻi e mītia fakasōsialé. ʻOku ʻikai ke ʻi ai haʻana meʻa fakapulipuli ʻi he ʻInitanetí. ʻOkú na vahevahe tauʻatāina ʻena lea fufū (passwords) ʻi he netiueka fakasōsialé. ʻOku ʻikai ke na sio ki ha peesi ʻa ha taha ʻi he ʻinitanetí ʻi ha founga ʻe malava ke toʻo ai e falala toputapu hono malí. ʻOku ʻikai pē ke na fai pe lea ʻaki ha meʻa ʻe hā ngali taʻe taau ʻo tatau pē ʻi he anga mo e tōʻongá. (“Nofomalí: Sio pea Ako,” 84)
Naʻe akonaki ʻa Palesiteni Nalesoni ʻi ha fakataha ʻo e lakanga fakataulaʻeiki ʻi he konifelenisi lahí, ʻo fekauʻaki mo e mahuʻinga ke fakamuʻomuʻa taha ho malí. Neongo naʻe fakataumuʻa ʻa e faleʻi ko ʻení ki he ngaahi husepānití, ka ʻoku ʻaonga tatau pē ki he ongo meʻa malí fakatouʻosi.
ʻOfa mo tokangaʻi ho uaifí. ʻAi ke mo taha. Hoko ko hono hoa ngāue. … ʻOku ʻikai tonu ke ʻi ai ha toe meʻa mahuʻinga he moʻuí ʻe toe muʻomuʻa ange ʻi hono fokotuʻu ha feohi taʻengata mo iá. ʻOku hala ha meʻa ʻi he TV, pe telefoni toʻotoʻó, pe komipiutá ʻe toe mahuʻinga ange ka ko ʻene fiefia mo leleí. Vakaiʻi e founga hoʻo fakamoleki ho taimí mo e meʻa ʻe tuku ki ai ho iví. ʻE tala atu ʻe he meʻa ko iá ʻa e feituʻu ʻoku mahuʻinga kiate koé. Lotu ke fakafenāpasi ho lotó mo e loto ho uaifí. Feinga ke ne maʻu ha fiefia. (“Te Tau Lava ‘o Fai Lelei Ange pea Toe Lelei Ange,” Ensign pe Liahona, Mē 2019, 68–69)
Ngāue
Muimui ki he fakaafe ʻa Palesiteni Nalesoni ke “vakaiʻi e founga hoʻo fakamoleki ho taimí mo e meʻa ʻe tuku ki ai ho iví” (“Te Tau Lava ʻo Fai Lelei pea Toe Lelei Ange,” 68). Ko e hā ha ngaahi liliu ʻoku fie maʻu ke ke fai he taimí ni ke ke mateuteu lelei ange ai ke pīkitai ki ho mali ʻi he kahaʻú pe pīkitai kakato ange ki ho malí kapau kuó ke mali? Lekooti ha palani pe taumuʻa te ke lava ʻo ngāueʻi he uiké ni.