Lesson 17 Teacher Material

Equal Partnership in Marriage

From the time of Adam and Eve, the Lord has intended that husbands and wives be equal partners in marriage. Living prophets have reaffirmed this principle in our day. In this lesson, students will have the opportunity to explain gospel teachings about equal partnership in marriage and presiding in the family. Students will also be invited to determine what they can do now to have equal partnership in marriage.

Suggestions for Teaching

Husbands and wives are meant to be equal partners in marriage.

Consider beginning the lesson by displaying or distributing copies of the following statement by President Jean B. Bingham, Relief Society General President. Ask students to read the statement, looking for how the adversary seeks to destroy marriages and families.

Lucifer knows that if he can damage the unity men and women feel, if he can confuse us about our divine worth and covenant responsibilities, he will succeed in destroying families, which are the essential units of eternity.

Satan incites comparison as a tool to create feelings of being superior or inferior, hiding the eternal truth that men’s and women’s innate differences are God given and equally valued. … His goal has been to foster a power struggle rather than a celebration of the unique contributions of men and women that complement one another and contribute to unity. (“United in Accomplishing God’s Work,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2020, 60–61)

• What challenges can come to a marriage if the husband or wife feels inferior or superior to the other?

Review Moses 3:18, 21–23 with students, and ask:

• What can we learn from the way the Lord described the physical creation of Eve, as recorded in this account? (As needed, direct students to Church leaders’ explanations of this scripture passage in section 1 of the preparation material. Help students identify a truth like the following: Within marriage, Heavenly Father intends that a husband and wife help one another as equal partners.)

To help students further understand this truth, consider displaying several items that accomplish something when paired. These items might include the two blades of a pair of scissors, a fork and a knife, a musical instrument that requires two components to play (such as a violin), a pair of shoes or gloves, a pair of ear buds or headphones, and so forth. Invite students to imagine what would happen if they used only one part of the pair to accomplish their task.

• How are these items like a husband and wife working together?

• What blessings can come to a marriage if the husband and wife see and support each other as equal partners?

Improving Our Teaching and Learning

Acknowledge students’ responses in positive ways. When a student gives a response, acknowledge it in some positive way. This can be a simple “thank you” or a comment about the answer. Doing so will help students feel listened to and valued. This positive response can help students feel more comfortable sharing answers, insights, and experiences in the future.

Remind students that they read in the preparation material that the Lord has appointed unique responsibilities to husbands and wives in the family that are “equal in value and importance” (Quentin L. Cook, “Great Love for Our Father’s Children,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2019, 79). Similarly, prophets have taught, “In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org).

You might mention that several of these responsibilities will be discussed in upcoming lessons. But to begin discussing one example, display the following truth: “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”).

• How would you explain what it means to preside in love and righteousness? What do you think we can learn about presiding from the example of the Savior? (If needed, review with students the statement from the General Handbook and the statement by President Ezra Taft Benson in section 2 of the preparation material.)

Remind students that Doctrine and Covenants 121:41–43 identifies several Christlike attributes that can relate to righteously presiding in the family. Ask students to review this passage and what they wrote in response to the “Record Your Thoughts” activity in section 2 of the preparation material. Invite a few students to share what they wrote with the class. Then consider asking the following question:

• What examples of equal partnership and righteous presiding in the family have you seen or heard about?

Husbands and wives are to counsel together in making decisions for their families.

The following scenario is designed to help students analyze their understanding of equal partnership in marriage and presiding in the family. (Consider how you might adapt this situation as appropriate to more closely reflect your culture or to meet any specific needs your students might have.)

Working as a class or in small groups, review the following scenario, and discuss the questions at the end of the handout.

Nicolas and Elena’s Story

The Eternal Family Teacher Material—Lesson 17

Nicolas and Elena have been happily married for 10 years and have three children. They both want their family to be established on the foundation of Jesus Christ and His gospel, and they each strive to fulfill their divinely appointed family responsibilities.

Like other married couples, Nicolas and Elena have disagreements. Their disagreements are usually about money. Nicolas works full time outside of the home. Elena is able to take care of their children and manage their home full time, in addition to occasionally working small side jobs. Nicolas believes his role of presiding in the home, as well as being the one who earns more money, means he should have final say in how their money is spent. Elena feels that she should have more power in decisions that involve the children since she is with them more than Nicolas. Sometimes in the past, without telling Nicolas, she has spent their money in the way she wants.

Nicolas and Elena have recently been discussing what to do with some money they have saved. Nicolas would like to use it to purchase a vehicle that will make it easier for him to get to work and for their family to get around. Elena would like to use the money to take their children on a vacation to visit extended family and have some fun experiences together before the children grow too old.

Nicolas and Elena’s disagreement has been weighing on them, but a decision must be made.

• What would you say is the biggest challenge facing Nicolas and Elena in deciding what to do with the money?

• What do you think they need to better understand about equal partnership and presiding related to making decisions for their family? (See section 3 of the preparation material.)

• If you were Nicolas or Elena, how could you approach your spouse to counsel together about this decision in a Christlike way?

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Nicolas and Elena’s Story

After students have had enough time to discuss the scenario, you might ask:

• How can counseling together in righteousness bless couples and their children?

To conclude, display the following questions, and provide students with enough time to silently ponder and record any impressions they might receive.

• What Christlike attitude, attribute, or practice can I develop or strengthen to help me foster an equal partnership in my marriage? How can I seek the Lord’s help in my efforts?

For Next Time

Acknowledge with students that often a major concern of couples as they consider marriage and children is how they will be able to provide for their financial needs. Encourage students to prayerfully study the preparation material for the next lesson and listen for promptings that might help them make wise financial choices and become more self-reliant.