“The Temple Is for Me,” Ensign, March 2019
The Temple Is for Me
Even though I wasn’t going on a mission or getting married, I felt the time was right for me to enter the temple.
Photograph outside the Mount Timpanogos Utah Temple by Jeremy Hall, posed by model
In the spring of 2016, I was finishing up my last semester of college. And I was terrified.
I was about to venture into the murky, foggy realm of adulthood—real adulthood, without the training wheels. There were so many unknowns ahead, and I wanted something I could be sure about.
I found myself longing for the temple. It was my beacon. I knew I could find the peace I was looking for within those holy walls. For the first time, I began to seriously consider receiving my endowment.
“This Is for You!”
I’d always assumed that I’d enter the temple right before I went on a mission or got married. I’d even taken a temple prep class to prepare. But I hadn’t served a mission. And there was definitely no fiancé in sight. Yet I still wondered whether the time was right.
General conference was coming up, so I wrote down my question: “Is it the right time for me to receive my endowment?” I fasted and prayed that I would receive an answer during conference. Then I listened carefully to each speaker. I received lots of impressions … but nothing about receiving the endowment. Until the very last session.
Elder Kent F. Richards of the Seventy opened his talk with a quote from Joseph Smith: “We need the temple more than anything else.”1 Immediately, a light switched on inside me. It was like the Holy Ghost had leaned in and whispered, “This is for you!” I felt that my question had been answered and that it was time to meet with my bishop.
Resistance and Resolutions
My family was coming from out of state for my graduation soon. I knew I wanted them to be in the temple with me, so I met with my bishop as soon as I could.
My bishop felt I was ready to receive my endowment, so he conducted the interview and signed my new temple recommend. He told me that the stake president was very busy and advised me to set up an appointment with him immediately. He also recommended that I call the temple soon since it was a busy time of year.
Right after our meeting, I tried to make an appointment with the stake president. But his schedule was completely full! I started to worry that the timing wasn’t right after all.
Despite my worries, everything worked out. My stake president was willing to meet with me outside of his normal interview hours. And though the closest temple had no openings, I was able to squeeze in a time at a temple farther away. So much of this experience was out of my hands that I knew Heavenly Father was orchestrating it all. It was a further testimony to me that it was the right time.
I later realized that these problems might have been Satan’s last-ditch efforts to keep me from the temple. President Boyd K. Packer (1924–2015), President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, explained:
“We should expect that the adversary will try to interfere with us. …
“Temple work brings so much resistance because it is the source of so much spiritual power to the Latter-day Saints.”2
You Know Him
I was eager to enter the temple but also a bit nervous. Every day I prayed that I’d find peace and feel the Spirit in the temple. I found comfort by talking with my parents and close friends who were endowed, but I was still uneasy.
The night before, I couldn’t sleep. A million thoughts swirled around in my head. What if the temple ceremonies were confusing or intimidating? What if I didn’t know what to do? What if I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t feel the Spirit? What if I wasn’t really ready?
As I lay awake, a Primary song popped into my head: “I love to see the temple. I’m going there someday.”3 I sang through the song in my head, and my fears slowly seeped away. I realized that I’d been preparing to enter the temple since I was a little girl. Receiving the blessings of the temple was simply the next step in my progression toward eternal life.
I remembered how I felt when I did baptisms for the dead or spent time on temple grounds. The spirit of the temple was already familiar to me, because it was Heavenly Father’s Spirit. And I was already familiar with Him! He was the God I loved, trusted, obeyed, prayed to, and strived to be like every day. I was willing to do whatever He asked of me.
The next day, I sat in the temple next to my mom. I still felt nervous. When a temple worker came to show me where to go next, she told me that Heavenly Father was pleased I was there.
Then it hit me—I had made it to the temple! My entire life so far had been leading up to that moment, when I could enter the temple, worthy and ready to start receiving all the light God could give me there. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of His love. I knew that the Holy Ghost was testifying to me that Heavenly Father wanted me to be in His house.
A House of Learning
That day, I heard some of the most beautiful words I’d ever heard. I learned so much about the plan of salvation and my role in God’s kingdom. I received amazing eternal promises and made sacred covenants. And I felt the Spirit in a way I never had before.
The experience was incredible. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little overwhelmed. There was so much to take in that I wasn’t sure what to think.
After the endowment session, I sat with my family and a few close friends in the celestial room. I had a thousand questions, but I couldn’t find the words to ask them. My friend told me that she had felt the same way. “It’s like trying to understand calculus as a kindergartener,” she said. “We probably won’t ever understand it all in this life. But that’s why we keep going back—so we can understand a little better each time.”
Over the next few days, I pondered everything I’d learned and felt. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how beautiful and meaningful the experience was. Every day I felt more gratitude for the temple and more resolve to honor my covenants.
I lived near the temple, so I decided to go regularly. Later, I even got to serve as an ordinance worker there. As I set aside time to be in the temple, I started understanding more. I think of temple attendance like scripture study—you can get something more out of it each time.
I’ve received some of my most significant and personal spiritual insights in the temple. Sometimes understanding comes not during the ordinance itself but while I’m waiting. I cherish those times I have in the temple to pray or read the scriptures or simply sit quietly and reflect. In a place where I can be so close to the Spirit, I’m much more open to what He has to teach me.
At Home in His House
The feelings I get in the temple are just as important as what I learn there. When I walk through the doors, it’s like coming home. The peace I feel is a small miracle to me—a confirmation from the Spirit that I’m where I’m supposed to be.
I’ve learned that I can find so much of what I need in the temple. When I have questions, I can find answers. When I feel weary, I can find rest. When I feel weak, I can find strength. And when I feel uncertain, I can find peace.
Sometimes in life, I feel out of place. But in the temple, I know that I belong. I can feel the Spirit whisper to me like He did before: “This is for you.” I’m grateful that no matter what, I can always feel at home in my Father’s house.