General Conference Taught Me How to Look for Love in All the Right Places
I always depended on other people to feel loved. General conference reminded me where I needed to look.
As I prepared for general conference, my desire was simply to feel loved. Throughout my 21 years of living, love is something that I’ve always chased after. Whether through friends, boys, or social media, I’m always seeking to feel wanted, appreciated, and needed. However, anything I’ve found has always seemed to fade quickly and leave me feeling lonely and unsure of myself. And that doesn’t make sense—I have an incredible family, amazing friends, and I live in the best community. Even still, this is something I battled for years.
I recently returned from serving a mission in Malaysia. There, I learned where love truly comes from. I learned that love is not equal to superficial attention or Instagram likes. I found the love I have always been seeking in the love of Heavenly Father. As I learned to communicate with Him and did so diligently, I felt a love that was different from anything I had encountered before. This was the love of a perfect, patient Parent who knew my weaknesses and could help me turn them to strengths.
Returning home from my mission has been full of fun family time and lots of catching up. But since returning, it seems like I’ve felt that heavenly love less and less each day. I’ve felt myself slipping back into searching for love and appreciation from other people.
For a while, these feelings of regression made me want to give up—they discouraged me. And for a minute (or maybe a lot of minutes), I forgot to remember those beautiful feelings of love I had felt from Heavenly Father.
Leading up to general conference, I was pleading with Heavenly Father to help me feel His love again. I asked Him to remind me how to be happy with who I am and remember whose I am.
Maybe it was when the choir sang “A Child’s Prayer” and taught us that Heavenly Father really is there. Maybe it came when President Henry B. Eyring closed his talk with a powerful testimony and said, “God the Father lives and loves us.”1 Maybe it was when Elder D. Todd Christofferson taught us how to find and feel joy.2 Or maybe it was when President Russell M. Nelson announced eight new temples during the women’s session, reminding us that there are little pieces of heaven all across the earth.3
I don’t know the exact moment when I felt it. In fact, I don’t think there was one exact moment. Rather, this entire general conference was completely full of love. It was a weekend where I once gain found and felt the love my Father in Heaven has for me. It was a weekend that reminded me that He knows me and that He is aware of my fears and my struggles. And it was a weekend full of assurances that He is cheering me on with every step I take toward Him, no matter how small of a step it may be.
That’s what the gospel is all about, right? Love. The pure love of Christ and the love of our Father in Heaven, to be exact. This love empowers you, makes you want to be better, and encourages you to keep on trying. This love brings warmth to your heart and sometimes sends shivers down your spine. This love teaches you who you are and where you came from. This love reminds you to embrace your identity as a special, sacred child of Heavenly Parents. And this love is the kind of love that will never fade.