Learning to Place My Struggles into the Lord’s Hands
General conference taught me how I can more fully place my faith in the Savior’s healing power.
General conference seemed to come at the perfect time. Throughout the summer, amid my ongoing, everyday battles with depression, anxiety, and perfectionism, new trials came at me in full force.
I have a pretty good idea of who I am. I tend to be easily confused, emotional, and afraid when trials come pouring into my life. In the current war I’m up against, I’ve devoted my time to staying completely faithful to God through fervent prayer, weekly temple worship, and church attendance. These things have been essential in grounding me, but as I’ve tried to understand how to fully place my burdens into the Savior’s hands, I seem to consistently fall short.
Before conference, I talked to my counselor about ways I could improve myself. I felt that I was faithfully following the Savior every day, and I told her I didn’t know what else the Lord wanted me to do to face my challenges. Were the answers that I had been consistently receiving even correct? I was desperate to know. She reminded me, “All you need to know is where the Lord wants you right this minute—right now.”
I turned to conference in hopes that the messages would give me some inspiration about how to face my trials. I asked what I could do to put my life completely into Heavenly Father’s and the Savior’s hands. How could I give my burdens over to Him and not feel miserable? I wanted to learn how to follow His will, not in my way, but in the way that He wanted.
So, I prayed to find answers to my questions and eagerly waited for conference to start. Immediately I was impressed by the messages that were given.
As Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke, my heart was comforted. He said that “as accountable beings, we find joy in overcoming misery in whatever form, whether it be sin, trial, weakness, or any other obstacle to happiness. This is the joy of sensing progress in the path of discipleship; the joy of ‘having received a remission of . . . sins, and having peace of conscience’; the joy of feeling one’s soul expand and grow through the grace of Christ.”1
From his words, I realized that Heavenly Father never wants us to be miserable on our mortal journey back to Him. He supports our cause as we turn to Him and faithfully endure to the end. He is always by our side, especially when life seems unbearable. Recognizing His enduring love answered my questions of why I should continue on, facing my trials with faith. His love taught me that my first step is finding joy in every moment, even the difficult ones.
I resigned to give my best effort every day to find my joys in life, but I knew that wouldn’t be the only thing that could help me endure to the end of my trial. I was still so eager to understand how I could put my situation squarely in the yolk with the Savior. But then as Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles shared the story of the people tossing their idols into the waterfall as an act of faith.2
I thought about all of the metaphorical idols I’ve been holding onto for so long. This included my overuse of social media, my daily procrastinating of important spiritual practices, and my insecurities that were holding me back from helping others. And I found myself seeking approval from friends, rather than seeking the Heavenly Father’s approval in certain aspects of my life. I knew if I threw all of my “idols” into the waterfall and chose to follow, and trust Heavenly Father and in the Savior completely with faith, then They would happily carry me home.
After listening to conference, I understand what I need to do now to face my trials. I know that we were never meant to face our trials alone, and that Jesus Christ was sent to bear our burdens with us. We are blessed to be in the yolk with the Savior—He has already pulled me through so much, and conference helped me understand how He never leaves us when we need him. He answers our questions, and He loves us with a pure love. If we choose to trust Him, He will be the source of our joy and our strength even in the midst of trials. I’m grateful for general conference and look forward to finding new answers as I continue to study all the messages that were given.