From the Mission Field
Serving a Mission When My Parents Got Divorced
Finding out my parents were getting divorced while I was on my mission derailed me. But with help from the Savior, I was able to move forward into the changes it brought.
I closed my eyes as hot tears rushed against the back of my eyelids. I repeated in my head the words my mission president had just spoken while we were seated together in his office: “Your parents are getting a divorce.” My heart seemed to shut down. Long seconds passed as I silently wept. Never in my 19 years of life did I think that word would have an impact on my own family.
Divorce.
Questions were racing through my mind. What would happen to my family? How was I supposed to get through the last six months of my mission with this weight on my shoulders? I felt empty. It was as if a piece of my soul had been ripped out.
After speaking with my mission president, I called my mom and dad separately, but I didn’t cry while talking to either of them because the initial sadness had just turned into shock and confusion.
I had been serving as a missionary for about a year and a half in Iquitos, Peru, also known as the heart of the Peruvian Amazon. My days were full of satisfaction from building strong relationships with the people there and showing them that through service, patience, and love, they could find more joy in life. Just over a month before, I had been video calling my family on Christmas Day, and all seemed well.
It took a lot of strength to get back to my missionary duties that hot February evening. I didn’t feel comfortable telling my companions yet because I wasn’t sure if I was emotionally stable enough to bring it up with them. The moon lit up the streets as the day ended, and we finally headed back to our apartment for the night.
I highly anticipated calling my twin brother, who was also serving a mission in Peru. My thoughts drifted to the last time we were all together as a family. Eighteen months ago, they dropped me off at the airport as I embarked on my mission to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. Up until this point, I had always envisioned the happy reunion of my whole family once I returned home. I imagined driving back from the airport together to happily carry on with life just the way it was before. But now I doubted that would happen.
Prayer Helped Me Keep My Focus
I cried myself to sleep that night after talking with my brother. More questions kept running through my mind: Why my family? What did I do to deserve this? Aren’t missionaries supposed to be blessed for their service? I prayed that I would still be able to focus on my mission. I loved the people I was working with, and I loved my Heavenly Father. I wanted to dedicate all my time and effort to them in the time I had left, but I knew it wouldn’t be possible if I kept dwelling on my family situation. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
But over the next few months, I saw the power of prayer come to life as I was able to maintain my focus on sharing the gospel. The divorce rarely entered my thoughts during the week, except on my preparation days. Sometimes I even began to dread preparation day because I was reminded of what was going on at home. I didn’t like to think about anyone in my family suffering through that, and I wished I could be there with them, but I knew that the Lord needed me in Peru.
I realized that I was blessed to be serving as a missionary at the time because I was able to keep my thoughts occupied and focused on other things rather than dwelling on the negative.
Getting an Answer from General Conference
April quickly approached, and I was soon gathering with my fellow missionaries in the stake center to watch general conference with local Church members and their friends. Even though I had been able to stay focused on my mission, I often questioned what would happen to my family as I taught other people about the plan of salvation and how they can be with their loved ones for eternity if they live the gospel.
I was looking for answers, and I knew that one of the best ways to receive personal revelation is through the words of the prophets and apostles.
As the conference began, I started jotting down things I liked from each of the speakers. Soon, the session was coming to an end, and I didn’t feel like I had heard anything that satisfied what I was looking for. The final speaker was announced: President Henry B. Eyring, Second Counselor in the First Presidency. I listened closely to his words as he talked about building a home where the Spirit can dwell. It made me think about my own family and how much I loved them all. Then he seemed to address my exact question as he spoke in his slow, comforting voice: “Because of choices some in our extended family had made, I doubted that we could be together in the world to come.” He went on to say that a fellow member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles cleared up his concerns by saying, “You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.”1
I felt peace and hope for the future of my family, even though I wished we didn’t have to go through this trial. I couldn’t change what had happened, so I looked at my options. I could mope around, look for someone to blame, and get angry; or, I could try my best to be positive and move forward, one step at a time.
I knew I had to continue with optimism. It wasn’t going to be easy, but I knew that it was possible with the Lord’s help. It still pained me to think about the reality of the situation, but over time, peace came in learning to trust in the Lord and His plan, even though I couldn’t see how this could work out for the good.
As my 24 months came to an end, I felt as though I were trying to slam on the brakes in a car that wouldn’t stop. I loved the people I had served with, and I didn’t want to leave them. But, in the back of my mind, I also didn’t want to face the reality of the divorce and what that meant for my life back home. I had to remind myself again of the lessons I had learned over the past six months.
We often can’t choose what happens to us in life, but we can choose how we respond. The road to recovery may be rough, but our Savior traveled a road that was much more treacherous than anything we can imagine, and because of that, He can help us through anything if we allow Him to.
I took a deep breath as I stepped off the plane, ready to face my new life with optimism and faith in our Savior, Jesus Christ.