My Difficult Roommate Taught Me How Christ Can Help Us Change
Living with a tough roommate opened my eyes to my own need to change.
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I had a difficult roommate in college.
She frequently left her dirty dishes around the kitchen and hardly ever cleaned the bathroom.
She was rarely home because she was usually out with her on-and-off boyfriend.
And whenever she was home, she was usually sitting on the couch crying about that boyfriend.
Most days she stumbled home when I was waking up for class, so I only saw her just as I was emerging from my bedroom and she was retreating into hers. And whenever we were together, she was quick to complain about bad grades and exhaustion.
I reacted predictably: I complained too. I began to notice that I would feel a surge of bitterness whenever we crossed paths. I was short with her whenever she was around, and, unsurprisingly, nothing good came of it. None of her irritating behaviors improved.
For most of the semester, I was convinced that her behavior was a problem that needed to be solved. I thought things would be better if she would just change. But over time, I came to see that the problem wasn’t just her—it was actually me too. And oh, did I feel guilty.
Our Ability to Change
In 3 Nephi 27:27, Jesus Christ asks and answers an important question: “Therefore, what manner of men [or women] ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am.”
As I thought about how I had been treating my roommate, I realized that I hadn’t been acting in a Christlike way. I knew I had to adjust my behavior and my attitude. I needed to make an important change. And I needed the Savior’s help.
Without the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we wouldn’t have the potential to make changes in our lives. When the Savior suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross, He paid the penalty for every sin we will ever make. And when He rose on the third day, He made real change possible for each one of us. He suffered so that we could repent of our sins and overcome our mistakes, thus allowing us to become more like Him. It is thanks to His sacrifice and Resurrection that we can bring our lives more in line with His teachings.
Lucky for us, it is never too late to change!
The Humility to Change
It took a lot of humility to look inside myself and realize that my bad attitude was creating a more hostile environment in our apartment than my roommate’s untidiness ever could.
And when I took the time to see her as more than a sum of annoyances, I learned that she wasn’t always out all night with her boyfriend; some nights she was in our apartment struggling through chemistry homework until the early hours of the morning. Sometimes she neglected her dishes because she hardly had time to prepare food before running to class or work, and she didn’t have enough money to eat out often.
I realized that she was a lot like me: homesick and overwhelmed with her many responsibilities as a student.
As I adjusted my attitude, the whole mood in the apartment gradually improved.
Instead of becoming angry whenever there were dishes in the sink, I would remember the intense course load that my roommate was taking and send her a text asking if she could use a ride home from campus.
Instead of complaining that the bathroom was still dirty, I would think about the areas of the apartment that I hated cleaning.
Over time, I found that not only were there fewer dirty dishes in the sink, but there was also a greater feeling of peace emanating throughout our apartment. Even more importantly, we were able to build a beautiful friendship.
A Time to Reflect
I am grateful for a loving Savior who makes all change possible (see 2 Corinthians 5:17). This Easter season is the perfect time to reflect on meaningful changes that we can make in our lives.
What better way to thank Christ for the gift of His Atonement and Resurrection than by starting today to try to become more like Him?
You might not need to change your attitude about a difficult roommate like I did. But maybe you want to make scripture study a priority in your routine. Or maybe you need to practice treating yourself with kindness. Or perhaps it’s time to double down on overcoming a bad habit.
No matter what changes you need to make in your life, the Savior is waiting with open arms to help you succeed. #Startingtoday.