Am I the Only Young Adult Struggling to Find My Purpose?

By Maryssa Dennis

Church Magazines

I felt like I had messed up the plan—my plan for myself, and God’s plan for me.

On my 25th birthday, I was tidying my bedroom. My space wasn’t in order, and I kept thinking about how my life wasn’t in order either. I wasn’t where I thought I would be at age 25. I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.

I thought about how I felt as a teenager when I got my patriarchal blessing. Whenever I read about my future, I pictured someone who was almost perfect. But I realized I had not grown up to be that person I imagined. And I wondered, If my younger self could see me now, would she be disappointed?

Suddenly I found myself in tears. I felt like I had messed up my life plan. I hadn’t made any catastrophic mistakes, but I also felt like I had nothing to show for my life. I didn’t have a purpose. Everyone else had it all figured out, and there I was, crying on my bedroom floor, feeling like my whole life was a waste.

I felt alone in my confusion and despair. But even at the time, I knew I couldn’t be the only young adult struggling to find their way. As I’ve talked with others, I’ve found that very few people’s lives end up exactly as they planned. And that helps me feel less alone.

It also helps to remind myself that Heavenly Father doesn’t want me to feel like a failure. He wants me to “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope” (2 Nephi 31:20). He believes in my ability to change and grow through the power of the Savior’s Atonement. Only Satan would want me to tell myself I’ve lost my chance to become the person Heavenly Father knows I can be.

Understanding the Plan of Happiness

Many of us feel hopeless about the future sometimes. And that might be because we misunderstand God’s plan of happiness. Maybe we think our life is like a video game—a fixed story line we have to follow in order to win. But that’s not how it works. Every day we’re making choices, changing, and growing. There’s nothing static or fixed about it. Our choices will never be a surprise to Heavenly Father, but they are still our choices. We are writing our own story, with Him, as we go.

And if we “let Christ be the author and finisher of [our] story,”¹ we can always look confidently toward an eternal happy ending.

Sometimes we make mistakes or we lose direction, resigning ourselves to wander aimlessly forever.

But this is a gospel of hope. Of lost things being found. It’s a gospel of learning. Of forgiveness. Of trying again. As Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, “Repentance is not the backup plan; it is the plan.”²

Heavenly Father’s love for us is perfect, and His plan for us is perfect too. It’s a perfect plan for imperfect people, designed with care and an understanding of our needs and potential. There is room in His plan for our failings—our honest mistakes and our stubborn sins and our wanderings in the wilderness. And there is room in His plan for our victories, which we secure each time we look to Him and try again.

Finding Your Purpose

I’ve spent a lot of time since that birthday thinking about my purpose. I still haven’t quite figured everything out. But I don’t feel so worried anymore. I know that God knows me and that if I turn to Him, He will help me create meaning in the space I’m in now.

Maybe someone someday will find a cure to cancer or end global hunger or achieve world peace. But someone today will comfort a grieving friend or help a struggling stranger or pray for the first time in years. And I think all of that means something—even everything.

The truth is, most of us won’t do glorious, earth-shattering things in this life. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have a purpose. Our ultimate purpose as children of God is to become like Him. And we grow into that purpose as we do small things every day to follow Jesus Christ.

I have come to cherish the gospel teaching that “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). When I look back at my life, I don’t see anything grand. But I do see many “small and simple things” that have made a big difference. And I know through the Savior’s grace, my small, good-faith efforts are paving my path to becoming like Him.

No one’s path will look quite like yours. But if you are trying your best to take steps toward Christ, your path is a good one. The Almighty Creator believes in you, so stand tall and believe in yourself. God has amazing things in store for you, and even when you feel small and simple, He “will help you become something greater than you ever thought possible.”³