From the Mission Field
Could I Be a Good Missionary as an Introvert?
I knew I wanted to serve the Lord—I just wasn’t so sure about talking to people all day.
Ever since I joined the Church, I’ve wanted to serve a mission. There was just one problem: the thought of talking to people all day every day terrified me. I am an introvert, meaning that I don’t enjoy talking to people I don’t know, and even though I love the gospel, talking to new people makes me anxious.
Despite my concerns, I still wanted to serve, and I trusted that Heavenly Father would help me. I received my mission call to the Arizona Scottsdale Mission, and, although I was nervous, I set off with faith in the Lord and a determination to do hard things.
When I arrived in Arizona, I quickly realized that serving a mission was just as mentally draining for me as I had feared. I felt like I was doing the best I could, but it just wasn’t enough. I knew that other missionaries struggled, but I still felt alone and like I wasn’t good enough to be part of this important work.
One night, after an especially hard day, I kneeled and poured my heart out to Heavenly Father. I told Him that I desperately wanted to be a good missionary.
The Faith to Move My Mountains
In that moment, Heavenly Father reminded me of the determination and faith I’d shown when I had left on my mission. I realized that even if I knew it would be this hard for the rest of my mission, I would still choose to stay out. It was worth it to me to struggle and have faith that the Lord would give me the strength to continue.
Heavenly Father reminded me of Matthew 17:20, “If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.”
That night, I prayed for faith that my mountains would be removed and that serving a mission wouldn’t feel so impossible.
With the reassurance of that experience, I was able to open up to my companions about my struggles, and they supported me as I worked on overcoming them. My trainer even came up with a motto that I was really grateful for: “I don’t like talking to people, but I will do it because I desire to bring them to Christ.”
This perspective allowed me to acknowledge my struggles while still pressing forward.
A New Perspective on Being a “Good Missionary”
As I got further into my mission, I realized that I didn’t need to have a certain personality to succeed. The “perfect missionary” I’d created in my mind—the one who didn’t get nervous and always knew what to say—didn’t really exist. And I didn’t have to be an entirely different person to be a good missionary.
During this time, I also learned the importance of Mosiah 4:27: “For it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent.”
I had often thought about the second part of the scripture without considering how it connected to the first. I thought that if I wasn’t doing something to serve every moment, I was being disobedient.
Eventually, I realized Heavenly Father expected me to be diligent, but if I needed to take a few minutes to sit in the car in silence to prep myself for an appointment, that was OK. Doing things like this to care for my mental health didn’t make me a disobedient missionary—it made me a better missionary because I was able to focus more on the Spirit and those I was teaching.
As I changed my perspective about being a good missionary, I worried less about my challenges and realized that Heavenly Father had given me unique gifts I could use to do His work. I learned that I was good at listening, a skill that helped me gauge what level those I taught were at in their gospel understanding.
A Quiet Confidence
Though I gained new skills on my mission and squashed many of my fears, I never completely overcame my discomfort. I was just as solidly an introvert when I finished my mission as I was on the day I started.
But, despite my challenges, I became someone the Lord could use to do His work. I became someone who could teach lessons and knock on strangers’ doors without constantly second-guessing myself. I even became someone who could train and lead other missionaries.
I learned how to live these words from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “Our Heavenly Father delights to have us sing in our own voice, not someone else’s. Believe in yourself, and believe in Him. Don’t demean your worth or denigrate your contribution. Above all, don’t abandon your role in the chorus. Why? Because you are unique; you are irreplaceable. The loss of even one voice diminishes every other singer in this great mortal choir of ours.”1
I never became the most talkative missionary, but I learned to do missionary work with a quiet confidence. And when we rely on Christ and move forward with faith, we can know that Heavenly Father is always pleased with our efforts to bring His children to Christ.