Life Skills

Christlike Ways to Respond to Dishonesty and Scams

By Gabrielle Shiozawa

Church Magazines

There are a lot of people without good intentions, but we can make good decisions to avoid the consequences of their actions.

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hands typing on a small computer

You’d think that having a scammer pretend to want to buy my apartment housing contract—only to send me a faulty check to try to get me to send money back to her—would teach me how to be less trusting.

But just a few months later, I was scammed again—out of concert tickets. I was devastated, both at the prospect of missing out on seeing one of my favorite bands and at the reality that I’d been duped again.

Don’t worry. I didn’t lose any money on my housing contract, and I still found a way to get into the concert. But these were powerful lessons on just how naive I can be about world.

Growing up in Primary classes, I sang, “I’m trying to be like Jesus … Try to show kindness in all that you do … For these are the things Jesus taught.”¹ In my mind, I thought being like Jesus just meant being nice. When we learned to turn the other cheek (see Matthew 5:38–39) when someone wronged us, boy, did I take that to heart!

Being Christlike and turning the other cheek doesn’t mean acting naively, being a doormat, or letting others take advantage of our good hearts.

Christ was a master of boundaries, such as when he told disruptive people to leave while He was raising Jairus’s daughter from the dead (see Mark 5:40). He stood up for His beliefs, like when He made a whip and flipped tables to drive out the people selling in the temple (see John 2:15). He taught His followers how to deal with persecution: “If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother” (Matthew 18:15).

We do our best to be honest and Christlike, so it can be extra hurtful or surprising to realize that not everyone in this world has the same intentions we do. Like my experiences with my housing contract and my concert tickets, sometimes people will act like they want to help you when they just want to take advantage of your good nature.

I’m not suggesting you should become resentful or suspicious that everyone is out to get you. But knowing how easy it is to be taken advantage of or scammed can help you learn to set some boundaries and prioritize your well-being. And the scriptures teach us how to protect ourselves in Christlike ways:

Don’t automatically believe everything people tell you. Proverbs 14:15 says, “The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.” If a deal seems too good to be true, it probably is. The girl who pretended she wanted to buy my housing contract made it seem too easy; she was willing to pay me extra upfront and didn’t ask me any questions about the layout of my apartment. Those were my first two signals that something wasn’t right.
Trust people whose words match their actions. During a time when the Saints faced a lot of persecution, the Lord told Joseph Smith which men he could rely on based on their virtues (see Doctrine and Covenants 124). Before you make a deal with someone, make sure they are true to their word. Just like God helped Joseph Smith, you can study the traits of righteous people and pray for the gift of discernment to help you know who to trust.
Know that turning the other cheek isn’t the same as letting others take advantage of you. Doctrine and Covenants 134:11 teaches: “We believe that all men are justified in defending themselves, their friends, and property … from the unlawful assaults and encroachments of all persons.” When the Nephites needed to defend their homes, liberties, and families, the Lord told them, “Inasmuch as ye are not guilty of the first offense, neither the second, ye shall not suffer yourselves to be slain by the hands of your enemies” (Alma 43:46). When I was sold concert tickets that were already used by someone else, I called the seller to make sure I got my money back. We shouldn’t seek revenge, but we shouldn’t allow others to hurt us, either.

I now know that becoming Christlike doesn’t mean letting people walk all over us. It involves standing up for the truth—and that includes standing up for ourselves.