How Could I Overcome My Spiritual Grumpiness and Love the Gospel Again?

By Chakell Wardleigh Herbert

Church Magazines

I was feeling lackluster about the gospel. General conference reminded me of its fabulousness.

I am so tired.

Aren’t we all, though?

It seems everyone is feeling fatigue during this crazy time of life. But life for me lately has seemed extra wild.

I’m navigating the ins and outs of relationships.

I’m trying to plan my future.

I’m working full-time.

I’m just starting graduate school.

I’m facing challenges and trying to help others do the same.

I’m waiting on the Lord.

I’m striving to magnify my calling in my ward Young Women presidency.

I also lack sufficient energy each day to begin with (thank you, chronic illness).

With how much I’m juggling, I feel like if I fall out of my routine, I’m going to drop all my responsibilities and collapse into a burned-out heap.

Spiritual Grumpiness

Now, I’m not trying to be dramatic. I truly enjoy life. But lately, all my temporal responsibilities and tiredness have made my spiritual responsibilities feel robotic and chore-like.

I’ve struggled to say my prayers or study scriptures consistently. Church has felt mundane. And the extra meetings or weekly activities I’m responsible for in my calling have weighed on me.

To put it bluntly, I’ve been feeling a sense of “spiritual grumpiness.” Meaning I’ve felt out of sync with the Spirit, slightly irritated with gospel responsibilities, and disconnected from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

Don’t get me wrong—I love my faith. I don’t feel any desire to leave the gospel behind. But my overwhelm and inability to notice the Spirit lately has made the gospel feel a little lackluster.

So, for this general conference, I had a question in my heart: “How can I start enjoying the gospel and church again?”

Parting the Clouds

Throughout this conference, I was hit with a slew of reminders from many speakers that parted the grumpy clouds lingering over my soul.

I felt seen when Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles opened the conference by thanking members for our willingness to serve and follow Jesus Christ.¹

I cried tears of joy when I heard Elder Alan T. Phillips of the Seventy remind me of my divine identity and purpose and Heavenly Father’s awareness and love for me.²

I felt hope when Sister Tamara W. Runia, First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, testified that because of Jesus Christ, “Everything you ... are worried about—it’s all going to be OK!”³

I was awed by basic truths when President M. Russell Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, declared, “I think it’s one of the most glorious and wonderful things that anybody in this world can know—that our Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus Christ have revealed Themselves in this latter day and that Joseph [Smith] has been raised up to restore the fulness of the everlasting gospel of Jesus Christ.”⁴

President Emily Belle Freeman, Young Women General President, helped me see how life changing and miraculous my temple covenants are, saying, “No matter the heaviness of our story or the current course of our path, [Jesus Christ] will invite us to walk with Him.”⁵

President Henry B. Eyring, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, reminded me of the remarkable privilege of having the Spirit guiding me each day.⁶

And finally, with tears in my eyes, I listened to my beloved prophet speak. I felt hope and renewal when he reminded me that “Heavenly Father’s plan for us is fabulous”⁷ and he invited me to “think celestial.”⁸

I was amazed at how many talks addressed my question, even indirectly. It was like Heavenly Father heard my prayers or something! (He hears them all, by the way.)

Feeling Rejuvenated to Live the Gospel

As I heard these women and men of God lay out these eternal truths of the gospel, my heart started to soften.

The gospel doesn’t burden my life—it enriches it. The efforts and sacrifices I make as a disciple of Jesus Christ are a mere fraction when compared to what He has done for me. The plan Heavenly Father has for us truly is fabulous—the sheer amount of unimaginably miraculous blessings we are promised are almost too good to be true. (But they are true! That’s the amazing part!)

I still have a lot to handle in my life, and there are moments when I feel the heaviness that comes with being a tiny, imperfect, tired person in a massive, busy world. But I feel a renewed sense of gratitude for the miracle of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I adore it.

I know as I keep inviting the Spirit into my life, giving my best efforts (even imperfect efforts), and adjusting my attitude when needed, I will continue to rejuvenate my spiritual energy to both share and reap the blessings of this fabulous gospel.