YA Fakauiké
Founga ʻe 4 ke Maʻu ai e Mālohi ki he Fetuʻutaki Leleí
ʻEpeleli 2024


Fakaʻilekitulōnika Pē: Kakai Lalahi Kei Talavoú

Founga ʻe 4 ke Maʻu ai e Mālohi ki he Fetuʻutaki Leleí

ʻOku mahulu hake ia ʻi he malimalí pē pe lea ʻaki ha ngaahi meʻa leleí—ʻoku fekauʻaki ia mo hono tokoniʻi e niʻihi kehé ke nau ongoʻi e ʻofa ʻa e ʻOtuá.

ko ha ongo tamaiki fefine ʻokú na kakata fakataha

Neongo ʻoku faʻa tui hoku ngaahi mahení ko ha tokotaha longomoʻui au, ka kuo teʻeki ai ke u fakakaukau au kuó u hoko ko ha fiefiaʻanga ʻo ha tokotaha. Ko hono moʻoní, ʻoku ʻi ai ha fakamanatu lahi ʻo ʻeku tōʻonga ʻoku ʻikai ke faʻa fakafiefiá ʻoku tautau ʻi he holisi ʻo e loto fale ʻo ʻeku ongomātuʻá.

ʻI ha faʻahitaʻu māfana ʻe taha ʻi heʻeku kei siʻí, naʻe haʻu ʻeku ongo kuí ke ʻaʻahi mai, pea naʻa mau fakaʻaongaʻi e faingamālie ko iá ke fakataimi-tēpileʻi ha taimi ke ʻai ai haʻamau ʻū tā fakafāmili. Naʻá ku mateuteu kakato ʻi hoku kofu puleveimau lanu pingikií mo hono tatā, ka naʻe kamata ke ʻalu ke kovi ʻa e meʻa kotoa ʻi he taimi ne ʻikai ʻomi ai ha kiʻi sea ke u tangutu ai hangē ko e niʻihi tokolahi ʻo e fāmilí.

ʻI heʻeku taʻefiemālié, naʻá ku fakafulofula holo pē ʻi he kotoa ʻo e taimi ne fakahoko ai e faitaá, pea fakameleʻi ai ʻa e mea naʻe mei hoko ko ha aʻusia fakafiefia mo hoku fāmilí mo ha ngaahi fakakata ne mei lauitaʻu fekauʻaki mo e “kofu ʻiteʻitá.”

Neongo ʻoku ou oliʻia ai ʻi he taimí ni, ka ʻoku hoko ʻa e tā fakafāmili ko iá ko ha fakamanatu maʻu pē kiate au ʻa e mālohi ʻo e fakakaukau maʻu pē ki he leleí. ʻOku hanga ʻe he fakakaukau leleí ʻo ʻai ke fakafiefia ange ʻa e moʻuí—he ko hai ia ʻokú ne maʻu ha fiefia moʻoni ʻi he ʻita maʻu peé? ʻIkai ngata aí, kuo fuoloa mai hono fakafehokotaki ʻo e fakakaukau ki he leleí ki ha ngaahi lelei fakaemoʻui lelei kehekehe hangē ko hono holoki ʻo e loto mafasiá, siʻisiʻi ange ʻa e mahaki mafú pea toe moʻui lōloa ange.1

Ka ʻoku ʻikai uesia fakafoʻituitui pē kitautolu ʻe he fakakaukau ki he leleí. ʻE lava ke uesia ʻe heʻetau fakakaukau ki he leleí (pe ʻikai) ʻa e tokotaha kotoa pē ʻoku tau fengāueʻaki mo iá. Kuo fekauʻi kitautolu ke tau “fiefia” (vakai, Tokāteline mo e Ngaahi Fuakava 61:36; 78:18), pea ʻi heʻetau fakahoko ia ʻi heʻetau ngaahi fetuʻutakí, ʻe lava ʻe kitautolu—mo kinautolu ʻoku tau feohí—ʻo ongoʻi lahi ange e ʻofa ʻa ʻetau Tamai Hēvaní mo e Fakamoʻuí.

Ko ha ngaahi founga ʻeni ʻe niʻihi te tau lava ai ʻo ala atu ki he mālohi ʻo e fetuʻutaki leleí.

1. Muimui ʻi he sīpinga fetuʻutaki ʻa e Fakamoʻuí.

Ki he sīpinga taupotu taha ʻo e fetuʻutaki leleí, te tau lava ʻo hanga ki he Fakamoʻuí, ʻa ia naʻá Ne fakahaaʻi ʻEne ʻofa ki he niʻihi kehé ʻaki ʻenau fengāueʻaki ʻi he angaʻofa, manavaʻofa mo e mahino.

Naʻe akoʻi ʻe ʻEletā L. Lainolo Kenituliki, ko ha Fitungofulu Taki Māʻolunga mālōlō: “Ko e ngaahi fetuʻutaki faka-Kalaisí ko hano fakahaaʻi ia ʻo e ʻofá kae ʻikai ko e ʻitá, moʻoní kae ʻikai ko e faʻufaʻú, manavaʻofá kae ʻikai ko e fakakikihí, fakaʻapaʻapá kae ʻikai ko e manukiʻí, akonakí kae ʻikai ko e fakaangaʻí, fakatonutonú kae ʻikai ko e fakahalaiaʻí. ʻOku nau lea mahino kae ʻikai ke fakapuputuʻu. Mahalo pē ʻoku ongo vaivai pe fefeka, ka kuo pau ke nau fakanonga maʻu pē.”2

ʻOku mahino mai ko e founga ʻoku tau lea ʻaki ha meʻá ʻoku mahuʻinga tatau pē mo e meʻa ʻoku tau lea ʻakí,3 ko ha lēsoni ne u ako ʻi heʻeku hoko ko ha tokotaha ako tā pianó. Kuó u aʻusia ha ngaahi founga fakafaiako lahi makatuʻunga ʻi heʻeku ako tā piano ʻi he konga lahi taha ʻo ʻeku moʻuí. Neongo ʻe lava ke fakalotosiʻi hono ʻomi ha fuʻu lisi ʻo ha ngaahi hiva ke fakahoko ke lelei, ka naʻá ku monūʻia ke maʻu ha kau faiako ne makehe ʻenau fie tokoni ke fakatonutonú ʻi ha founga fakalotolahi mo manavaʻofa, peá u ako ai ki he mālohi lahi ʻo ha lea ʻofa.

2. Feinga ke moʻui fiefia.

Tatau ai pē pe ʻoku tau fakatokangaʻi ia pe ʻikai, ka ʻe lava ke uesia ʻe heʻetau tōʻonga fakakaukaú ʻetau fetuʻutaki mo e niʻihi kehé—pea pehē foki ki ha ngaahi tafaʻaki kehe ʻo ʻetau moʻuí. Naʻe pehē ʻe Palesiteni Tōmasi S. Monisoni (1927–2018): “ʻOku fakafalala ʻa e meʻa lahi ʻi he moʻuí ki heʻetau tōʻonga fakakaukaú. ʻOku uesia ʻa e meʻa kotoa pē ʻe he founga ʻoku tau fili ke tau vakai atu ʻakí mo tali ki he meʻa ʻoku fai mai ʻe he niʻihi kehé. Kapau te tau fai e lelei taha te tau lavá pea tau fili ke tau fiefia ʻi he tūkunga ʻoku tau ʻi ai, te ne lava ke ʻomi ʻa e nongá mo e fiemālié.”4

Ko e founga ʻe taha ke fakatupulaki ai ha tōʻonga fakakaukau leleí ko hono fakaafeʻi e Laumālié ki heʻetau moʻuí. Te tau lava ʻo fai ʻeni ʻaki hono fetongi e tālaʻá mo e manavaheé ʻaki e tuí (vakai, Tokāteline mo e Ngaahi Fuakava 6:36),), ʻo tali e meʻafoaki ʻo e fakatomalá, feinga mālohi ke fakamālohia ʻetau ngaahi fakamoʻoní, mo feinga ke fakatokangaʻi e toʻukupu ʻo e ʻEikí ʻi heʻetau moʻuí. Naʻá ku fakatokangaʻi foki ko e taimi ʻoku ou fakataimi-tēpileʻi (mo muimuiʻi) ai ʻa e taimi ki hono ako ʻo e folofolá, ʻoku ou ongoʻi lelei ange ʻi he ʻahó kotoa. ʻOku tokoniʻi kitautolu ʻe he ngaahi meʻá ni kotoa ke tau ongoʻi lahi ange ʻa e Laumālie Māʻoniʻoní, ʻo iku ai ki hono maʻu ha ʻamanaki lelei ʻoku lahi angé.

Ka ʻoku ʻikai ʻuhinga foki ʻa hono maʻu ha fakakaukau leleí ke mapuleʻi ʻa e ngaahi ongo kovi kotoa pē. ʻOku ou faʻa tō ʻi he taimi ʻe niʻihi ki he tauhele ʻo e fakakaukau ʻoku ʻikai ke u maʻu ha tui feʻunga kapau te u fakahaaʻi ha hohaʻa pe ongoʻi loto mamahi. Kae hangē ko e fakamatala ʻa Sisitā Seiloni ʻIupengí, ko e Tokoni ʻUluaki ʻi he Kau Palesitenisī Lahi ʻo e Fineʻofá: “ʻOku ʻikai ʻuhinga ʻa e fiefiá ke malimali fakangalingali neongo pe ko e hā e meʻa ʻoku hokó. Ka ʻoku ʻuhinga ia ki hono tauhi e ngaahi fono ʻa e ʻOtuá mo hono langaki mo hiki hake e niʻihi kehé. ʻI he taimi ʻoku tau langaki hake mo hiki hake ai e mafasia ʻo e niʻihi kehé, ʻoku faitāpuekina ai ʻetau moʻuí ʻi ha ngaahi founga he ʻikai mole ʻi hotau ngaahi ʻahiʻahí.”5 Neongo te tau aʻusia kotoa ha ngaahi ongoʻi taʻefeʻunga ʻi he kotoa ʻo e moʻuí, ka te tau lava ʻo maʻu ha fiefia lahi ange ʻi heʻetau fakaʻehiʻehi mei he nofo ʻi hotau ngaahi mamahí pea feinga ke hiki hake ʻa e niʻihi kehé.

3. Fakakaukau ki he tuʻunga ʻo e vā fetuʻutakí.

Mahalo he ʻikai lava ke fuatautau ʻa e fakatuʻamelié, ka ʻe lava ke tokoniʻi kitautolu ʻe ha ngaahi tuʻunga ʻulungaanga pau ke tau fakafuofuaʻi ʻa e lelei ʻoku tau maʻu ʻi heʻetau ngaahi fengāueʻakí. Kuo laui taʻu hono ako ʻe he mataotao ki he ʻatamaí ko Sione Kotimani ʻa e meʻa ʻokú ne ʻai ke moʻui lelei ai ʻa e vā fetuʻutakí. Hili haʻane siofi ha ngaahi hoa mali ʻe lauiafe, naʻá ne fakapapauʻi ha founga ʻe lava ke tokoni ke tala pe ʻe kei nofo fakataha pe ʻe takitaha-maʻana ʻa e ongomeʻa malí ʻi he ngaahi taʻu ka hokó, ʻa ia ʻoku lahi hake ʻi he peseti ʻe 90 ʻa ʻene tonú.6

Ko e meʻa tefito naʻá ne ʻiló? Lolotonga e ngaahi momeniti ʻo e fekeʻikeʻí, ʻoku meimei ke muimui ʻa e ngaahi hoa-mali fiefiá ki ha ngaahi fengāueʻaki lelei ʻe nima pe lahi ange ki he foʻi fengāueʻaki kovi kotoa pē ʻe taha. ʻE lava ke kau ʻi he ngaahi fengāueʻaki leleí hano fai ha fakahikihiki, fakaʻofaʻia, mo poupouʻi e fakakaukau ʻa e tokotaha ko eé, ka ʻe lava ke kau ʻi he ngaahi fengāueʻaki ʻoku ʻikai leleí ʻa hono mioʻi e matá, tuli tonuhia pe fakaʻikaiʻi, mo fakaanga.7

Neongo ʻoku nofotaha ʻa e fakatotolo ʻa Kotimaní ʻi he ngaahi hoa-mali feʻofoʻofaní, ka ʻe lava ke fakaʻaongaʻi ʻene ngaahi aofangatukú ki ha faʻahinga vā fetuʻutaki pē pea fakaʻilongaʻi ʻa e ngaahi nunuʻa kovi ʻo e fakakaukau ʻoku ʻikai ke leleí.

ʻOku akoʻi kitautolu ʻe he folofolá, “Ke ʻoua naʻa haʻu ha talanoa ʻuli mei homou ngutú, ka ko ia ʻoku leleí ʻo ʻaonga ke langaki haké, koeʻuhí ke tupu ai ʻa e tokoni ki he kau fanongó.” (ʻEfesō 4:29). Mahalo ʻe ʻikai ke tau faʻa fakakaukau tatau maʻu pē, ka ʻe lava pē ke tau taʻeloto kae ʻikai ke tau taʻefelotoi. Pea ʻi heʻetau feinga ke langaki moʻuí—neongo e fehangahangai mo e fekeʻikeʻí—ʻe lava ke tau fakamaʻamaʻa ai e ngaahi kavengá mo fakaʻatā ha potu ki ha fiefia ʻoku lahi angé.

4. Hoko ko “ha faʻifaʻitakiʻanga ʻo e kakai tuí.”

ʻOku ou malimali he taimí ni ki he ʻū tā fakafāmilí (tatau ai pē kapau ʻoku ou tuʻu), pea kuo kamata ke mahino kiate au ʻa e founga ʻe lava ke uesia ai ʻe heʻeku tōʻonga fakakaukaú ʻa kinautolu ʻoku mau feohí, ke lelei ange pe toe kovi ange.

Neongo ʻoku ou mamaʻo mei he haohaoá, ka ʻoku ou feinga ke fai ha feinga makehe ke u kau ʻi ha fepōtalanoaʻaki mo ha taha, ke fakahaaʻi ʻeku houngaʻia ki hoku husepānití mo e niʻihi kehe ʻoku ou ʻofa aí, pea ke u “hoko ko ha fakaʻilonga ʻo e kakai tuí, ʻi he lea, mo e ʻulungaanga, mo e ʻofa” (1 Timote 4:12).

Ko hono fakatahaʻi ʻo e fanga kiʻi meʻa iiki ko ʻení—ha telinga ke fakafanongo, ha fakapapau lelei, ha kole fakamolemole fakamātoato—ʻoku faʻa ola lelei lahi tahá. ʻOku fakaʻatā kitautolu ʻe he fanga kiʻi meʻa iiki ko ʻení ke tau faʻifaʻitaki ki hotau Fakamoʻuí mo vahevahe ʻa e ʻofa ʻa e ʻOtuá.

Pea ʻi hono vahevahe ʻEne ʻofá, te tau ongoʻi foki ʻe kitautolu ia.

Maʻuʻanga Fakamatalá

  1. Vakai, “Positive thinking: Stop self-talk to reduce stress,” Mayo Clinic, 21 Sānuali, 2020, mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950; vakai foki, Jane E. Brody, “A Positive Outlook May Be Good for Your Health,” New York Times, 27 Māʻasi 2017, nytimes.com.

  2. L. Lionel Kendrick, “Christlike Communications,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 24.

  3. L. Lionel Kendrick, “Christlike Communications,” 23.

  4. Thomas S. Monson, “Ko e Moʻui Mahutafeá,” Liahona, Sānuali 2012, 4.

  5. Sharon Eubank, “Fakaulo Atu Hoʻomou Māmá,” Ensign pe Liahona, Nōvema 2017, 8.

  6. Vakai, Emily Esfahani Smith, “Masters of Love,” The Atlantic, 12 Sune, 2014, theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573.

  7. Vakai, Kyle Benson, “The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science,” The Gottman Institute, 4 ʻOkatopa, 2017, gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science.

  8. Vakai, Ko Hono Fakamālohia ʻo e Fāmilí: Tohi Fakahinohino Maʻá e Faiakó (2006), 26–28.

  9. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Fiefiá, Ko ho Tukufakaholo,” Ensign pe Liahona, Nōvema 2008, 120.

  10. Vakai, Fakamālohia e Nofo-malí: Tohi Fakahinohino ʻa e Faiakó (2006), 14–15.