Especially for Newlyweds
Infant Loss: “Because of Jesus Christ, Everything Can Be OK”
The author lives in Quintana Roo, Mexico.
When we lost our baby, we were devastated. But we also remembered what the Savior and Heavenly Father have promised us.
When my husband, Javier, and I got married, we knew that we wanted a large family and started planning right away. But unfortunately, things didn’t go the way we planned. Heavenly Father’s will was different than our own.
Over time we discovered that I had a condition that made pregnancy very risky for me, but eventually we were able to have our first son. It was a miracle! And a few years later, after a lot of medical help, we were thrilled to be expecting another son.
A Message from the Spirit
This second pregnancy was very hard on my body, but I was hopeful that things would go well and that this baby boy would be born without any complications. One day, about a month before this baby was due, my husband and I went to the temple. As we finished our endowment session and sat together in the celestial room, I had one of the most heavenly experiences of my life.
Sitting there, I felt prompted to open a Book of Mormon. I turned to Mormon 9:13, which talks about how Jesus Christ will loose us from the “band of death” and will bring “to pass the resurrection.”
As Javier and I held hands and read these truths, we both felt deep in our hearts that our baby was not going to live. It was such a strange feeling because my pregnancy had been going well. I was confused, but oddly, I felt peace, knowing this was a message from the Spirit.
Three days after that experience in the temple, our baby, Nico, was born prematurely through emergency labor and delivery and was very sick. He remained in intensive care for a few weeks, and though doctors tried to save him, he quietly slipped away from this life.
We were devastated. But I remembered that sacred experience in the temple and felt so much comfort in Heavenly Father’s plan for His children, despite the plans for building our family not turning out how we had expected.
Faith in the Savior’s Healing Power
Sister Amy A. Wright, First Counselor in the Primary General Presidency, recently taught: “Eternal life is eternal joy. Joy in this life, right now—not despite the challenges of our day but because of the Lord’s help to learn from and ultimately overcome them—and immeasurable joy in the life to come. Tears will dry up, broken hearts will be mended, what is lost shall be found, concerns shall be resolved, families will be restored, and all that the Father hath will be ours.”1
Losing a baby brought unimaginable grief, and it sometimes felt like it would be impossible to recover from this loss. I still cry when I’m reminded that I won’t get to raise my baby boy in this life. But over time, I have felt the Savior’s light in my life, sustaining me. I know that because of Him, I will be able to be reunited with Nico one day. And that will be such a glorious day.
The temple has become such a comforting place for me, more than ever before. There I am reminded of Heavenly Father’s promises to His children, especially the promise that families can be eternal. In the temple I also deepen my faith in what the Savior and His healing power can provide for my life.
As Sister Wright also testified, “In the end, because of Jesus Christ, everything can be OK.”2
Though I still feel an ache in my heart and sometimes I feel far from OK, keeping my covenants and turning to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ each day always helps me find the strength to keep moving forward with faith. I truly feel the joy that the gospel of Jesus Christ offers us, even when life doesn’t go as planned.
Because of Them, whatever happens, I believe that things will most definitely be OK.