How Can I Feel God’s Love When I Struggle with Depression?
I struggle with clinical depression, but knowing how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me gives me joy and hope.
Growing up, I realized that I experience same-sex attraction, which at first led to a lot of negative thoughts about myself. This experience and many challenges in my life influenced my current struggle with clinical depression.
I love my Savior and have always had a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I know that it is possible to find peace, joy, and rest through living the gospel. But because I struggle with mental health, it can be hard for me to feel that promised peace and joy in every circumstance.
I am committed to Jesus Christ and my covenants, but viewing my life through the lens of depression can make everything seem hopeless, and I often wonder to myself:
“How can I feel the joy of living the gospel and see myself like Heavenly Father and the Savior see me?”
I decided to look to the example of the Savior for answers and healing.
Putting the Savior First
While I was studying to find answers, I thought about the times in my life when I have felt the darkness of depression. I realized that remembering and living like the Savior is the security I cling to when I’m struggling the most.
Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “It is clear we have a Father in Heaven who knows and loves us personally and understands our suffering perfectly. His Son, Jesus Christ, is our Savior and Redeemer.”
Nothing brings me more hope than simply remembering the Savior and that He and Heavenly Father understand everything I’m going through. So when I’m feeling sad, I try to make Them my first and last thoughts every day. I try to make sure I am striving to connect with Them, especially in difficult moments.
Pondering His Character
When I study the scriptures, I love to read about Christ’s character. This helps me deepen my relationship with Him and Heavenly Father. In the Book of Mormon, Christ is described as compassionate (see 3 Nephi 17:6), supportive (see 2 Nephi 4:20), and true light and life (see 3 Nephi 11:11).
One of my favorite titles of the Savior is Advocate. Because of my faith in Him and His Atonement, He can plead my cause with the Father and intercede on my behalf (see Moroni 7:28).
The scriptures continue to teach me how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me, and this gives me the peace I’m desperate for in my toughest moments.
Knowing My Divine Identity
President Russell M. Nelson reminded us of three important truths about ourselves: first, that we are children of God; second, that we are children of the covenant; and third, that we are disciples of Jesus Christ.
Knowing these truths has helped me find my place in the Church and feel God’s perfect love.
Because I experience same-sex attraction, for a long time I wasn’t sure how I could find my place in the Church of Jesus Christ. I don’t know how a lot of things will work out in my life.
However, focusing on my divine identity fills me with so much peace. I’m reminded just how much I am loved perfectly by Heavenly Father, and this changes everything for me.
Because of my divine identity, I know that I am never alone.
Changing My Focus
I’m trying to overcome my depression by trying to get to know my Savior. When I focus on His love, I find the happiness that He promises me. Even though not every day is bright, I can still cling to His everlasting light daily, hoping that tomorrow will be better.
As Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles recently taught:
“If we seek joy—if we look for reasons to rejoice and to happily follow the Savior, we will find them.
“We rarely find something we are not looking for.
“Are you looking for joy?
We can be happy, and the gospel of Jesus Christ is for everyone, even if we struggle with depression or any other challenge. That’s what coming unto Christ does for us. When we learn about Him and follow Him, we can feel His promises of joy, peace, and rest.
Jesus Christ is my true happiness, and He can be yours too.