How Do I Look Forward to My 30s with Hope instead of Fear?
I finally realized that life is less about achieving and more about becoming.
I’m 29 years old. Which means that in just a few short months, I will face a daunting milestone:
My 30th birthday.
Somehow, 30 has always felt like a deadline to me. Like if I haven’t achieved everything I want to by then, I’ll be stuck in my current state of being, unable to grow or progress anymore. (And I’ll be honest—being single doesn’t help.)
So when Elder Gary E. Stevenson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles invited us to consider our next decade, a familiar sense of dread settled over me. I didn’t want to think about another 10 years of disappointment! But I kept listening to the words of an Apostle of God, hoping there would be something to offer me … well, hope.
The Next 10 Years
“For you personally, this will be a decade never to be forgotten,” Elder Stevenson promised. “But it will be doubly so if you actively strive to become a light unto the world.”
I thought about old journal entries I’d read the night before. I’d been discouraged to realize that many of the things I struggled with a decade ago were the same things I still struggle with today. If I had grown so little in the last 10 years, how could I make the next 10 any better?
Elder Stevenson had my answer. He reminded us of four “divinely appointed responsibilities: first, living the gospel of Jesus Christ; second, caring for those in need; third, inviting all to receive the gospel; and fourth, uniting families for eternity.”
As I listened, the dread inside me dissipated. Keeping my covenants, sharing my faith, serving others, attending the temple, doing family history—I could do that! These responsibilities were nothing new to me, and I’d become regrettably lax about them. But I knew they were all worthwhile. And I was determined to recommit myself.
Right then and there, I took out my phone and made a temple appointment. Later I downloaded the JustServe app and bookmarked service opportunities to explore. I thought about other ways I could follow these principles and ensure that I was “anxiously engaged” (i.e., enthusiastically engaged) in righteous pursuits (Doctrine and Covenants 58:27). I had faith that these things would enrich my life and help me draw closer to the Savior—now with a little less dread about the future and a little more joy in all the blessings to come.
Hope for the Future
Elder Stevenson reminded me of an important truth: life is less about achieving and more about becoming. As long as I’m becoming more like Jesus Christ, I am achieving what He wants me to achieve.
It’s not that the milestones don’t matter. Of course we should all faithfully pursue worthy goals like graduating from college, serving a mission, getting married, and starting a family. But I think that the race itself—even the training leading up to it—is just as important as the finish line. And really, in the gospel of Jesus Christ, are there even any finish lines? Even if I’m able to hit every one of these milestones in this life, I won’t be finished growing and becoming. Heavenly Father wants us to continually “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope” (2 Nephi 31:20). That’s the nature of eternal progression. Every moment is a new beginning—a fresh opportunity to try again and do better. As Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, “In [God’s] plan there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings.”
In my 20s, I didn’t reach all the goals I’d hoped to reach. I didn’t even manage to break my terrible night-owl habit. But looking back, I recognize how much I grew, just from the trying. I have worked hard to have a softer, more Christlike heart—and that’s something I can keep working on for all the years I have left.
Suddenly my 30th birthday doesn’t seem so intimidating anymore. Maybe it really will mark an everlasting beginning to a brand-new decade “filled with days never to be forgotten.” If I focus on the Savior, it won’t be 10 more years of disappointment. It will be 10 more years of learning about Him and my Heavenly Father. Ten more years of growing closer to Them. Ten more years of becoming more like Them.
When I think of it that way, my next decade feels like a beautiful gift. Nothing short of a loving, glorious miracle.
I don’t know which milestones I’ll reach or not reach in my 30s. But I do know what to expect in the next 10 years: 3,652 days of pursuing, growing, and becoming more like God.
I’m in my growth era—now and forever.