Why is it important to follow the Church’s standards regarding dating?

Prepare Yourself Spiritually

Latter-day prophets have given us standards about dating to protect us from spiritual danger and help us prepare to one day find a worthy eternal companion. These standards include not dating before age 16, avoiding frequent dates with the same person, and dating only those who have high moral standards.

Resources to Help You Prepare

These resources are to help you prepare for the “Learn together” section of the meeting.

• Deuteronomy 7:3–4 (Do not marry outside the covenant)

• Doctrine and Covenants 46:33 (Practice virtue and holiness before the Lord)

• Articles of Faith 1:13 (Qualities we should develop in ourselves as we look for an eternal companion)

• Elaine S. Dalton, “Guardians of Virtue,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2011, 121–24

• “Dating,” For the Strength of Youth (2011), 4–5

• “A Brand New Year: Dating” (video)

Questions to Ponder before You Teach

What examples have you seen that have taught you the importance of obeying the Lord’s standards regarding dating?

What experiences and ideas are shaping the young women’s perception of dating? What pressures are they feeling? What do they need to know in order to remain true to the Lord’s standards?

What can the young women do to prepare to learn? For example, they could read a talk, watch a video, or study a scripture related to this doctrine.

Teaching in the Savior’s Way

The Savior gave those who followed Him opportunities to ask their own questions and share their own insights. He responded to their questions and listened to their experiences. Because of His love, they felt safe sharing their thoughts and personal feelings. How can you help the young women feel safe sharing their questions and personal feelings?

Meeting Outline

1. Counsel Together and Share Experiences

Led by a member of the class presidency; approximately 5–10 minutes

Lead a discussion about items such as the following:

• Our class: Who is missing today? What visits do we need to make? Who should we invite to an upcoming activity? Who needs our help and prayers?

• Our responsibilities: What assignments do we need to make? What assignments have we fulfilled? How have we invited others to come unto Christ, and how can we invite others now?

• Our lives: Remind the class of the discussion from the last meeting. What experiences have we had with applying what we learned? What experiences have we had in the past few weeks that strengthened our testimonies of the gospel?

If possible, discuss these items beforehand in a class presidency meeting.

2. Learn Together

Led by a leader or teacher or a member of the class; approximately 25–35 minutes

After studying the above resources and following the inspiration of the Spirit, you may select one or more of the activities below to help class members understand the doctrine.

• Invite each young woman to write a personal list of qualities that she wants her future husband to have. Invite the young women to share their lists, as appropriate, with the class. Ask one of the young women to read the following statement by Elder Robert D. Hales: “If you want to marry a wholesome, attractive, honest, happy, hardworking, spiritual person, be that kind of person” (“Meeting the Challenges of Today’s World,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2015, 46). As the young women review the lists that they made, you might ask them how they would feel if their future husband had a comparable list about them. What are they doing now to be the kind of person that their future husband would want to marry? Invite the young women to discuss how they can personally develop these qualities now and how these qualities will affect the kind of people they date.

• Ask each young woman to select a word or phrase from the thirteenth article of faith and explain how her word or phrase relates to the standards in the “Dating” section in For the Strength of Youth. Ask the young women to share how the principles in the thirteenth article of faith should influence their interactions with young men.

• Read the paragraph of Sister Elaine S. Dalton’s talk “Guardians of Virtue” that begins with the question “What can each of you do to be a guardian of virtue?” Ask the young women to discuss how Sister Dalton’s counsel relates to dating. Invite the young women to read Alma 46:11–14, and discuss how the title of liberty helped inspire the Nephites to guard their freedoms. To follow Sister Dalton’s challenge, invite the young women to make a list of things they should and should not do to guard their virtue. The young women could include in their list what they will do to be guardians of virtue as they date (see “Dating” in For the Strength of Youth).

• Show portions of “A Brand New Year: Dating,” and pause the video to allow the young women time to identify standards of dating mentioned by the people in the video. Ask the young women to review “Dating” in For the Strength of Youth and look for additional standards that were not discussed in the video. Invite them to answer questions such as the following: What are the Church’s standards regarding dating? Why is it important for you to follow these standards? and What is the purpose of dating? Invite the young women to discuss ways they can respond when they feel pressured to do something that contradicts the Church’s standards regarding dating. Consider sharing examples of how you were blessed by keeping the Church’s standards of dating, and invite others to share similar experiences. Invite the young women to share what they will do to keep these standards.

• Invite the young women to review the “Dating” section in For the Strength of Youth and write down any questions they have about dating. Invite a panel of older young men and young women to answer their questions and discuss the standards of dating. Encourage the panel members to include examples of how they have lived the standards as they have dated, such as dressing modestly, choosing appropriate activities, and dating those with high standards.

3. Plan to Act

Led by a member of the class presidency; approximately 5–10 minutes

• Ask the young women to discuss any feelings or impressions they had during the meeting. What was meaningful to them? Is there something they can do personally or as a class to apply what they have learned?

• Give the young women a few minutes to record what they will do in the coming weeks to act on their impressions. Invite them to share their ideas.

• Remind the young women that they will have the opportunity to share their experiences at the beginning of the next meeting.

Related Youth Activities

Plan a Mutual activity that will help the young women apply what they learned in this lesson.