I am anxious that my children not only learn about gospel principles, but that gospel principles become an integral and motivating part of their lives. What are some of the basic principles involved in helping our children to really learn the gospel in the most meaningful way?

Neil J. Flinders, Director of research and evaluation, Seminaries and Institutes of Religion: There is a major difference between a religious experience and learning about religion in a formal or scholastic sense. Whether a home is a good, bad, or indifferent one, formal religious schooling only supplements what a child learns at home.

President Wilford Woodruff recognized the importance of the home as the center of learning. When he organized the first “seminary” programs in the Church, he said:

“A strenuous effort should likewise be made to gain the hearty cooperation of the parents, as without their aid the school will measurably fail in the object of its creation.” (Letter signed by the First Presidency, October 29, 1890.)

A second major point that parents should be aware of is that they cannot teach that which they do not practice. Most educators agree that it is the relationship of the teacher and the student that is the most significant in the learning process. This relationship is more important than the curriculum, the facilities, or the location of the schooling. These principles can also apply directly to the home. It is not the size or location of the home that is important; it is the relationship between the parent (teacher) and the child (student) that makes the difference.

The capacity for religious experience varies in a child’s life according to the level of his development. We grow up spiritually in a manner similar to the way we grow up physically. For example, from birth to age eight is the best time to teach a child to obey persons in authority. Ages eight to 12 are the best time to teach a child the importance of laws, rules, and regulations. Ages 12 to 15 are the best time for real religious awakening. It is during this time that the individual acquires the capacity to have qualitatively different personal religious experiences.

Keeping in mind these very broad guidelines, it is an important parental responsibility to provide a child what he needs, not just what he wants. Just as too much candy may have an adverse effect on the physical system, overdoses of, or poorly prepared, spiritual food may also cause distress or damage to the spiritual system. Parents should seek the inspiration to be able to give their children a balanced spiritual diet.

Another factor that parents should recognize is that fear is a great deterrent to a meaningful religious experience. This lesson is well taught in the account of the Prophet Joseph Smith’s hesitation and subsequent feeling of relief prior to his prayer in the Sacred Grove. Only when he had overcome fear could he experience the great spiritual joy that followed.

Some religious movements have instilled fear in their followers. This fear cannot lead to spirituality. The Lord informs us that “… perfect love casteth out all fear.” (Moro. 8:16.)

Significant and lasting religious impact does not seem to be generated by simulated experience. It grows out of the context of real, living experience. The home is the most important creator of such experiences.

Another important question facing parents as they consider the religious education of their children is, “When a child knows right from wrong, what makes him choose the right?”

Modern revelation tells us that the answer is that it is spiritual forces that lead us to make spiritually correct decisions. The scriptures identify at least seven of the spiritual forces that have a positive influence on our choices. These are:

1. The positive example of those we love and respect.

2. Faith and works—knowledge that comes with a spiritual confirmation.

3. The realization that we are children of God.

4. The influence of positive principles.

5. Prayer.

6. The testimony that comes to us as a result of submitting to the ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

7. Experiencing love—the pure love of Christ, either as a recipient or as a transmitter.

What makes a child desire continued religious experience? The answer is satisfaction from previous religious experiences. When a child can sense through the mind and the Spirit that he has grown spiritually, then he will seek further growth.

The family can provide the greatest source of potential satisfaction if it is the home of real experiences and true love, but the various religion classes, from Sunday School to seminary, can do much to assist. The more the two unite in a team effort and strive to complement each other, the more effective religious education will become, and the more persuasive true religious experience will become.