Priesthood and Relief Society:

Working Together

Appreciative priesthood leaders have often commented, “If you want something done right, give it to the sisters to do.” Such a statement supports my observation that Relief Society presidents are typically capable, well-organized, dependable, and hard-working leaders.

Over the past few months I have interviewed a number of ward and stake Relief Society presidents in Southern California. Almost without exception these sisters feel that they are appreciated by their priesthood leaders and that their contributions are valued. Not uncommon are statements such as, “He tells me to phone him at any time when a matter of importance comes up, and I do.” “He listens to me and is interested in what I have to say and how I feel.” “I can talk easily with my bishop; he is understanding and totally supportive.” These Relief Society leaders report that during meetings with priesthood leaders of the ward they feel free to speak and voice their opinions. They report that the priesthood generally looks to the Relief Society presidency as those who are intimately aware of the welfare needs of families in the ward—who is ill, in the hospital, or in need of child care. Often the Relief Society is made aware of the needs of a family even before the bishop is.

Sister Yvonne Porter, Relief Society president of the Simi First Ward, describes her bishop as a compassionate, effective leader who expects his priesthood leaders as well as the Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary presidencies to be worthy of inspiration in their callings. He is readily available to give counsel, but allows—indeed, expects—them to grow and become the leaders they should. He shows trust and confidence in them—and they don’t disappoint him.

Sister Penny Haynie, president of the Fillmore Ward Relief Society (Ventura California Stake), knows that her suggestions will be taken seriously. Her ward has a reverence problem because they meet at the community center; the noise level there is considerably higher than at a regular church meetinghouse. During a ward correlation council meeting she proposed that she send sisters in the ward a letter with suggestions for families to help them achieve a more reverent feeling, which would then lead to a more reverent atmosphere during sacrament meetings. Discussion of this topic continued for forty-five minutes, with each of the ward’s leaders contributing helpful suggestions.

In a similar experience Sister Verlie Small, president of the Ventura First Ward Relief Society, initiated a discussion of taking the sacrament to elderly shut-ins. Her suggestion resulted in the priesthood taking the sacrament on a regular basis to all shut-ins.

Priesthood-Relief Society interaction is about as varied as those who participate in it. Sister Mary Howell, president of the Simi Third Ward (Simi California Stake) Relief Society, reports that she has a weekly interview with her bishop that can last from ten minutes to an hour, depending upon the matters needing discussion. But Lillie Bowles, president of the Newbury Park First Ward Relief Society (Newbury Park California Stake) finds such an interview every two weeks to be sufficient. The executive secretary of that ward telephones those scheduled to attend meetings, asking if they have any items for the prepared agenda. Sister Bowles has attended priesthood executive committee meetings on occasion as needed.

Meetings attended by Sister Joanne Linford, president of the Camarillo Second Ward Relief Society, begin with “success-stories—to start everything off on a positive note” and to encourage participants to “look for the good to report at their next meeting.” Sister Small appreciates that their interviews and meetings begin with prayer, which brings a special spirit to these occasions.

Many wise bishops know that if their Relief Society presidency understands and participates in welfare programs they will enthusiastically encourage the women in the ward to do likewise. The Camarillo California Stake has a “Bee Project” by which they contribute honey to the bishop’s storehouse. Sister Sheila Stegman, president of the Third Ward Relief Society, reports that this project was handled primarily by the brethren and considered “rather risky” by the sisters. Bishop Howard M. Hamilton gave an assignment to her and her counselors to do some work extracting honey. They accepted, found it very exciting, and were therefore able to encourage other sisters to volunteer their services in the project.

Relief Society leaders interviewed reported that busy bishops and Relief Society presidents can’t always meet as often as one or the other might prefer. While they do take time to discuss and act on emergency needs of people in the ward, they sometimes are not able to consider other matters as regularly as they would desire. Sister Yvonne Porter is a busy mother of several children. She finds that a good way to keep her bishop up to date on ward concerns and needs of the Relief Society is to type a weekly letter and deliver it to his home so he can read it at his leisure. She informs him of what is happening with Relief Society sisters in the ward with, “I’d like to make you aware of the following situations. …”

Many ward Relief Society presidents have learned to help their busy bishops by offering suggestions. As a way to expedite the calling of Relief Society personnel, some Relief Society presidencies make a request and at the same time indicate to the bishop exactly when the sister’s new responsibilities will begin, stating the date of a board meeting, stake leadership meeting, or the date of a lesson for which the teacher must be prepared.

I learned that stake Relief Society presidents feel no less supported by their respective priesthood leadership. As a whole, they are able to communicate easily with their stake presidencies, and they receive support in the programs they propose. I spoke with Sister Joan Barlow, president of the Simi California Stake Relief Society, who indicated that when the Relief Society made plans to present a Personal and Family Preparedness program for the sisters in their stake, high council members were assigned to make this the subject of their talks in the wards during the month prior to the event, and to encourage participation from the sisters.

As a stake Relief Society president in my own Ventura California Stake, I have recently been assigned to take a few minutes in our stake bishoprics’ meeting to explain the new ward Relief Society positions concerned with single adult/transition, welfare, and activation/missionary, so that bishops will be able to see how sisters in these positions can help their Relief Society program and the ward in general.

Sister Randolyn Brady has had first-hand experience with priesthood-Relief Society communication in a variety of circumstances. Sister Brady, who is the Fullerton California Stake Relief Society president, also serves on the Anaheim, California, regional welfare committee, on a multi-regional welfare committee, and on an area welfare committee under the supervision of Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone. She is asked to submit agenda items for her stake welfare and stake correlation council meetings, so that areas she feels need discussion will receive that attention.

In regional, multi-regional, and area meetings she is always given opportunity to discuss agenda items from her point of view. She reflects that if she even looks like she is ready to voice an opinion on a matter, she is called upon to do so. She is impressed, as she sits in these various committees, with the efficient action taken by priesthood leaders on decisions made. On one occasion, her counselor, while speaking in their stake welfare committee meeting, mentioned the need for an emergency preparedness program. Immediately the priesthood organized plans and prepared materials to get the ward programs functioning.

Helping ward members to progress in building the Kingdom of God on earth is no simple task. But I have seen ample evidence that as priesthood and Relief Society leaders work together in mutual respect and dedication, they cannot fail to bless the lives of those within their stewardship.

Photography by Jed A. Clark