Anatomy of a Peacemaker

By David A. Edwards

Church Magazines

Here are some of the processes going on inside a person trying to make peace.

Most people want peace—for themselves, their homes, their communities, and the world.

The Savior taught us that it starts with us. He urged us to be peacemakers (see Matthew 5:9). And President Russell M. Nelson has urged us to “end conflicts that are raging in your heart, your home, and your life” (“The Power of Spiritual Momentum,” Apr. 2022 general conference [Liahona, May 2022, 97]).

So, what happens when you disagree with someone about something important to you? How do you keep peace while defending a firmly held opinion or standing up for a gospel principle like staying sexually pure or not cheating in school?

Internal Processes

If you’re really trying to be a peacemaker, you’ll be strengthening certain processes that go on inside you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually when disagreement arises. They are part of the anatomy of a peacemaker. Here are a few of them.

Listening

Listening means paying attention to what people say and not just thinking about what you’re going to say next. Someone who knows they’re being listened to is less likely to get angry.

Self-Awareness

To be self-aware is to be mindful of what you’re saying and how you’re acting—and to realize how it comes across to others. It also means realizing why you’re saying and doing those things—your motivations.

Empathy

Empathy means feeling what others feel. You make the effort to imagine their feelings when they hear what you say and see how you act.

Knowledge

Knowledge is a store of information and facts to draw from. But most important, it includes spiritual learning and experiences that you can apply and share.

Persuasion

Persuasion is the art of helping people change how they think and feel about something. Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, “Peacemakers … are persuasive in the Savior’s way” (Apr. 2022 general conference [Liahona, May 2022, 18]). The Savior’s way isn’t about just being right. It’s about loving the truth and the people you want to share it with. The Savior’s way isn’t about saying you’re right and others are wrong. It’s about sharing what’s right in a way that will truly reach people. It means loving the truth and the people you want to share it with.

Patience

In peacemaking, patience means having self-control. It often means reminding yourself that you don’t need to interrupt. You don’t need to get angry or upset. You don’t need to raise your voice or intensify your tone. It’s going to be OK to let people have their say, even if you strongly disagree. Patience isn’t weakness. It is part of the Savior’s way.

Wisdom

For peacemakers, wisdom means being able to judge what’s best to do in any situation. Should you intervene or back off? Should you offer logic, emotional support, humor, testimony? You can see possible outcomes of different choices. Wisdom is a gift from God that can come through experience, study, and following His counsel.

Humility

To be humble means to acknowledge that you don’t know everything and don’t have all the answers. It also means acknowledging that God does know everything and can give you answers. Humility helps us make sure that we “let no pride nor haughtiness disturb [our] peace; that every man should esteem his neighbor as himself” (Mosiah 27:4).

Faith

Having faith in Jesus Christ means trusting in Him and trying to keep His commandments, including in how you treat people. You can be assured that when you seek peace in His way, “all things shall work together for your good” (Doctrine and Covenants 105:40).

Love

Having a love of God in our hearts leads to peace (see 4 Nephi 1:15). It helps us to love our fellow human beings and reminds us that they are God’s children.

Keep Trying

It won’t always be easy to be a peacemaker, and you may make mistakes. We all do. But the Savior has told us that if we are peacemakers, we will be blessed and “shall be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9).

It’s worth it to keep trying to make peace. The Lord can bless us with a peacemaking anatomy so that it can become second nature to us. Then we can truly be called the children of the Prince of Peace.