Following the Savior’s Example of Empathy and Love

By Daniel Becerra

Assistant Professor of Ancient Scripture, Brigham Young University

What can we learn from Jesus’s life and teachings about how to better empathize with and love one another?

The shortest verse in all scripture consists of two words: “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). This is not the only time in scripture that Jesus weeps, but there is something very significant about the reason He weeps in John 11, and it can be easy to miss.

As the story goes, Jesus’s friend Lazarus falls ill and dies while Jesus is away. After a few days, Jesus travels to Lazarus’s home to raise him from the dead and is met by his grieving sisters, Martha and Mary. Mary falls at Jesus’s feet and says, “Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died” (John 11:32). John then tells us, “When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, … was troubled,” and “wept” (John 11:33, 35).

It doesn’t seem like Jesus is weeping for the loss of Lazarus. After all, He had known for days about Lazarus’s death and was planning to raise him up shortly (see John 11:4, 14–15, 17). Rather, Jesus weeps for the pain that Mary, Martha, and others were experiencing, a pain that He knew would disappear within a matter of minutes but that was still real for them in that moment.

Jesus wept, at least in part, out of empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and because it is one of Christ’s attributes, it is something we should all strive to better understand, cultivate, and express. Those who possess empathy have increased ability to love and serve others according to their needs. In this sense, having this characteristic aids us in our quest to “reach outward” in imitation of the Savior and to create unity and belonging.¹

So what can we learn from Jesus’s life and teachings about how to better empathize with and love one another?

1. Jesus Identified with the Marginalized

Throughout His ministry, Jesus had a special relationship with those who were marginalized in society: the poor, the afflicted, the stranger, and others who were often ignored or looked down upon—“the least of these,” as He refers to them in the Gospel of Matthew (Matthew 25:40). But He didn’t just minister to these individuals—He saw Himself in them, teaching His disciples that by doing good to such persons, “ye have done it unto me.”

Think about that for a moment. The great Creator of the universe, Son of God, and Redeemer of humankind, the person with all the reason in the world to see Himself above others, equates Himself to the most humble and vulnerable of humans.²

But why?

In addition to His love for all people, it is important to remember that the mortal Jesus was Himself marginalized. He was born an ethnic minority in the Roman Empire and was likely poor. As a child, He was forced to flee to a different country as a refugee to escape death (see Matthew 2:1–15). Some of His own people rejected Him, and He ultimately became a victim of government-sanctioned oppression (see Mark 15:15; John 1:11). From the day He was born to the day He died, Jesus was one of “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40).

By identifying with the marginalized, the Savior invites us to consider our own relationship with those who are similarly disadvantaged, displaced, or alienated today. Do we view ourselves as superior to them? Or do we see them as Jesus sees them, as part of ourselves, as spiritual sisters and brothers? Do we ask ourselves: what if their story were our story?³ Do we pray to understand and love them? And do we serve them as an expression of love to our Savior, who is reflected in them?

2. Jesus Put In the Work

Truly empathizing with others is easier said than done, and for Jesus, empathy largely came from suffering the “pains and afflictions and temptations … and the sicknesses of his people” so that He might know “how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:11, 12). In other words, many of the difficulties associated with His life and Atonement enabled Him to understand us and our difficulties so that He might better know how to heal us.

But Jesus also freely associated with many He encountered, listening to them, asking them questions, and treating them with respect, even when others criticized Him for it. Because we are so historically distant from when Jesus lived on the earth, we can miss some of the ways in which He defied the social norms of His day for the sake of reaching out to others.

For example, He touched lepers and other sick persons, who were considered ritually impure according to the law of Moses (see Numbers 5:1–4; Matthew 8:2–3). He also ministered to known sinners, to those who had bad reputations, and to Gentiles, which is something that would have been considered similarly inappropriate by some (see Mark 2:15–17; John 4:5–26). Jesus was in the business of building bridges, even when it wasn’t popular.

Like the Savior, we too can make efforts to know others better. For example,

we can listen to them with the intent to understand rather than to judge or reply;
we can avoid the tendency to be dismissive, defensive, or critical of those we disagree with; and
we can patiently meet people where they are in their journey of progression rather than where we would like them to be.

I have found that as I gain fluency in others’ perspectives and experiences, I grow in compassion, gain a more mature understanding of complex issues, and become better equipped to serve and love. It is difficult not to love someone when you know their story.

3. Jesus Tailored Love

Finally, Jesus’s life demonstrates that empathy finds its fullest expression in loving others in the way they need to be loved. As Nephi taught, the Savior “doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world” (2 Nephi 26:24).

Sometimes His love took the form of Him offering physical healing, encouragement, chastisement, or forgiveness. Other times He mourned with those who mourned or shared in their joys. Ultimately, Christ laid down His life for us “while we were yet sinners” (Romans 5:8), demonstrating that His perfect love persists even in our imperfection.

Striving to love as the Savior did can be difficult at times. So how can we love others in the way they need to be loved?

Can we just choose to love, as if there were a switch to turn on?

Is it really possible to love a neighbor or stranger as much as a family member or ourselves?

What about those whom we disagree with or don’t get along with, or those with whom we are prone to argue?

In the scriptures, Christlike love is frequently spoken of as something that a person is “filled” with; in other words, it is something poured into the soul by God (see Mosiah 2:4; 4:12; Alma 38:12; Moroni 7:48). This means that Christlike love cannot be cultivated without God’s help—it’s a spiritual gift that comes and grows as we “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart” (Moroni 7:48).

Empathy Brings Unity

As we serve with empathy and love, our capacity to create unity and belonging and to bring others to Christ increases. This is because we begin to see others with God’s eyes and feel with His heart. We also come to view our service not as us reaching downward to lift others up to our level but as us reaching outward to embrace a fellow child of God. In so doing, we help fulfill Christ’s prayer that His followers “be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us” (John 17:21).