Area Presidency Message
Greater Possibilities for Happiness in Our Families Come by Focusing on the Gospel of Jesus Christ
I am the sixth of eight children. My father left us, and our family faced great challenges. My mother had three jobs, and that was not enough to make ends meet.
A little while ago, one of my brothers and I talked about our early years. My seven siblings and I were born over a period of sixteen years. That means my mother had an average of one child every two years for sixteen consecutive years.
To be honest, I did not know, and perhaps I still do not fully understand, the challenges mothers experience after giving birth to a child, including physical and emotional stress such as postpartum depression. Surely my mother experienced many of these challenges. I remember that there were times when part of her frustration was externalized with us.
I was ten years old when the gospel of Jesus Christ came into our lives. My mother, who was less active, allowed four of my brothers and me to be baptized. My oldest sister was already married and the two youngest were not yet eight years old. The missionaries helped my mother forgive people who had hurt her, and she returned to Church activity.
Today I testify that the gospel of Jesus Christ helped me and prepared me in many aspects to break the vicious cycle of having a failed marriage. My wife and I celebrated 28 years of marriage in June. Like all marriages, ours is not perfect, but the gospel of Jesus Christ has helped us a lot. One part of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” reads:
“The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”1
Scripture study has helped a lot, both personally and in my family. When our children were young, like all families with young children, it was not easy to get the attention of our children. We had to be very creative. Fortunately, Sister Villanueva was very talented at teaching our little ones. For example, when we were learning about the Word of Wisdom, she would have us cut out different pictures from magazines, such as pictures of fruits, vegetables, boxes of cereal or some other nutritious foods. Also, she would ask us to cut out advertisements of alcohol, tobacco, coffee, etc. After reading some scriptures and explaining the Word of Wisdom, she asked our children to throw away those things that affected our bodies badly. This process kept the little ones entertained. It did not stop them from being restless and noisy, but they did learn.
I remember an experience that Elder K. Brett Nattress shared with us in a general conference address. His mother read the scriptures to him and his brother every day during breakfast, and he acted irreverently along with his brother. One day he questioned his mother asking her why she did that every morning and she told him something that just remembering it embarrassed him. Let me share his own words:
“I told her, ‘Mom, I am not listening!’
“Her loving response was a defining moment in my life. She said, ‘Son, I was at a meeting where President Marion G. Romney [1897–1988] taught about the blessings of scripture reading. During this meeting, I received a promise that if I would read the Book of Mormon to my children every day, I would not lose them.’ She then looked at me straight in the eyes and, with absolute determination, said, ‘And I will not lose you!’”2
We live in a very noisy world. President Russell M. Nelson said, “My dear brothers and sisters, the assaults of the adversary are increasing exponentially, in intensity and in variety . . . I plead with you to take a prayerful look at how you spend your time. Invest time in your future and in that of your family.”3
I have really enjoyed the Come Follow Me program It has helped me to be diligent and organized in my study of the scriptures. It provides a structured approach to scripture study. Attending Church and attending classes reaffirms what I accomplish during my study at home. This is what the Lord taught us through our beloved President Nelson about the importance of home-centered, Church-supported gospel learning.
It is also important to attend Church every Sunday, to renew our covenants by partaking of the sacrament, in which we promise to keep the commandments of God and to always remember our Lord, Jesus Christ. In return, we are promised that we will have the Holy Ghost constantly with us. President Nelson has taught that in these days we cannot survive without the guiding, pacifying and constant influence of the Holy Spirit.4 His help will assist us in making important decisions each day. Don’t worry if sometimes your children don’t seem to be very reverent. Do your best and be creative and patient.
I remember a few years ago my wife was the ward pianist, and I was a counselor in the stake presidency. She would manage to sit our children near the piano and from there she would try to control them. One day, one of our sons was fighting with his younger sister. My wife would give them a stern look from the piano. At the end of the services, while we were in the car, my wife told my son that he had been irreverent during sacrament meeting, and that he had not paid attention to the talks. He said that he had paid attention, so my wife asked him who spoke. He mentioned the names of the speakers and explained what they had talked about.
Dear sisters and brothers, our children learn when they attend Church on Sundays. When they are little, they feel the Spirit in Primary through the classes and when they sing the Primary songs.
I testify that happiness in the family has a greater possibility of being achieved if we focus on the gospel of Jesus Christ. The study of the scriptures with Come Follow Me, attending Church to renew our covenants, and attending the temple, among other things, will help us to remain firm in the covenant path.