“My Soul Did Long to Be There,” Liahona, July 2024.
Latter-day Saint Voices
My Soul Did Long to Be There
A favorite scripture story came as an answer to my longing to be close to my Heavenly Father and His Son.
The Second Coming, by Harry Anderson
I came to the temple one day with a question on my heart: “Heavenly Father, how am I doing in the gospel?”
My shortcomings had felt especially prevalent that week. Like Nephi, I felt burdened by the sins that so easily beset me. But, also like Nephi, I knew in whom I had trusted. (See 2 Nephi 4:18–19.) I hoped spending time with the Lord in His house that morning would help close the distance I was feeling.
I listened carefully through the endowment session and felt grateful for the strength and knowledge it offered me. But as I entered the celestial room, my heart still felt heavy. How could I know where I stood with the Lord?
I sat and pondered for a few minutes and then, feeling resigned, began to stand up. But something pulled me back down, sinking me deeper into the couch. “I don’t want to leave,” I thought.
I looked around the room and saw a familiar painting of Jesus Christ surrounded by angels, with His arms opened toward me. The words of a favorite scripture came to my mind: “My soul did long to be there” (see Alma 36:22).
I have often pondered the significance of that verse in Alma’s story. Previously, because of his sins, the thought of standing before God filled Alma with “inexpressible horror” (Alma 36:14). But after turning to Christ, he saw God surrounded by angels, and his “soul did long to be there.” This scriptural contrast has always struck me as beautiful. Alma’s small effort to look to the Lord had a huge effect on his heart.
I realized I didn’t feel ready to leave the celestial room because, like Alma, my soul longed to be there—both in the temple that day and ultimately with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in my heavenly home. The Holy Ghost used my favorite scripture story to tell me God knew my heart. I was reminded that despite my shortcomings, the Lord accepted my efforts to be close to Him. He knew I longed to be there.