Microtraining 5

How to Be an Active Listener

Define

Display and read the following statement by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

Perhaps even more important than speaking is listening. … [President] Russell Nelson told me once that one of the first rules of medical inquiry is “Ask the patient where it hurts. The patient,” he said, “will be your best guide to a correct diagnosis and eventual remedy.” If we listen with love, we won’t need to wonder what to say. It will be given to us—by the Spirit and by our friends. (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Witnesses unto Me,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2001, 15)

Provide the following handout to students:

Five Ways to Be a Good Listener

Answering My Gospel Questions—Microtraining 5: How to Be an Active Listener

Give people time. Be patient and allow people time to think and speak before and after they say something. Don’t be afraid of silence.

Pay attention. Really listen to understand, and don’t make premature conclusions or be thinking ahead about what you are going to say.

Clarify. Ask clarifying questions to show interest in what the person is saying and to make sure you didn’t misunderstand.

Reflect. Paraphrase or restate what you feel the person is saying. This gives the speaker a chance to feel validated and to clarify as needed.

Find common ground. Agree with the person as much as possible, without misrepresenting your own feelings, to help build unity and reduce any anxiety or defensiveness. (Adapted from “Five Things Good Listeners Do,” Ensign, June 2018, 6–9)

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Five Ways to Be a Good Listener

Review these five skills as a class, and invite students to consider which one they most need to work on.

Model

Help students consider how to implement these active listening skills by watching a portion of the video “Everyday Example: When Beliefs Are Questioned” (negative example: time code 0:00–3:08; positive example: time code 7:35–12:48). Then ask:

Everyday Example: When Beliefs Are Questioned

• How would you describe the listening skills of these two women?

• Recalling the set of five skills we just discussed, what could have helped these women to listen to each other better?

Apply

Invite students to form groups of three and select a topic they would like to discuss. Have one person take about one minute to share their feelings about the selected topic. Have the second person practice listening using one or more of the skills of good listening discussed earlier. Have the third person observe and provide feedback on the listening skills they observed. Then have members of the group change roles and repeat the activity. After students have practiced, invite one or two students to share what they learned.