Tokoni ki he Niʻihi Kehe ʻOku Fehangahangai mo e Ngaahi Faingataʻá
Talateu
Neongo ʻoku faʻa teuteuʻi kitautolu ʻe heʻetau tuí ki he ngaahi faingataʻa fakafoʻituituí, ka ʻoku fāifeinga siʻa tokolahi ke ʻilo ʻa e meʻa ke fai pe lea ʻaki ʻi ha taimi ʻoku foua ai ʻe ha kaungāmeʻa mamae pe mēmipa ʻo e fāmilí ha faingataʻá. Ko e ongoongo fakafiefiá, ʻoku ʻikai ke ke tokotaha pē ʻi hoʻo kumi ke tokoní. Ko e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni mahuʻinga ʻeni ke manatuʻi ʻi hoʻo tokoni kiate kinautolu ʻoku faingataʻaʻiá.
ʻI he ʻātakai taʻepau ʻo e ʻaho ní, ʻoku tofanga ai ʻa e kakaí ʻi he faʻahinga kotoa pē ʻo e faingataʻá. Tatau ai pē pe ko ha mole ʻa e ngāué, masiva, fakamavahe mei honau ʻapí, loto-mafasia pe ha toe fokoutua fakaʻatamai pē, palopalema ʻa e tuí, pe mole fakamamahi ha taha ʻoku nau ʻofa ai, ko e tokolahi taha ʻo e kakaí ʻoku nau fiemaʻu ke malu mo fetuʻutaki ofi mo ha taha—ha taha ke tokoni ange ke nau ʻilo ʻoku ʻikai ke nau siʻi tuēnoa.
Manatuʻi, ko e taimi ʻoku ʻikai ke ke fakapapauʻi aí, ko e lelei taha te ke lava ʻo fakahokó ke kumi ha fakahinohino ʻo fou ʻi he Laumālié pea fakaʻaongaʻi hoʻo tuí ʻaki haʻo fakahoko ʻa e ngaahi ueʻi ʻokú ke maʻú.
Ke Ke Manavaʻofa
ʻI he Fuakava Foʻoú, naʻe fakahinohinoʻi ai ʻe Paula ʻa e kakai tui kia Kalaisí ke nau “feangaleleiʻaki ʻa kimoutolu kiate kimoutolu, ʻo manavaʻofa” (ʻEfesō 4:32). ʻOku tautautefito e mahuʻinga ʻo e faleʻi ko ʻení ʻi hoʻo ngāue ki he niʻihi fakafoʻituitui ʻoku nau foua ʻa e meʻa fakamamahí.
ʻE lava ke ʻaonga lahi ke ke ʻi ai pē ki siʻa taha. Te ke lava ʻo nofo mo kinautolu, pe te ke tokoni ʻi haʻo telefoni ki ai, talanoa fakavitiō, pe tohi pōpoaki (text) ke nau ʻiloʻi ʻokú ke manatuʻi kinautolu. Kapau ʻoku taau pea mo fiemaʻu (he ʻikai teitei kovi ke fehuʻi!), ke fāʻofua pe ha toe fakafiemālie fakatuʻasino kehe he ʻe lava ia ʻo tokoni ke lahi ange ʻa e ongoʻi fetuʻutakí mo e tokangá.
ʻI hoʻo fakahaaʻi ki he niʻihi kehé hoʻo tokanga kiate kinautolú, te ke ala lea ʻaki ai ha meʻa hangē ko ʻení:
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“ʻOku ou ʻofa mo tokanga atu kiate koe.”
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“ʻOku ou ongoʻi mamahi ʻi hoʻo mole kuo hokó.”
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“ʻOku mou ʻi heʻeku ngaahi fakakaukau pea mo ʻeku ngaahi lotú.”
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“ʻOku ou ʻi hení ko koe, pea te u lava ʻo fanongo atu.”
ʻOku sai pē ke te tangutu fakalongolongo pē mo e tokotahá. ʻOku tokoni ʻete ʻi aí.
Tukuange ki he Niʻihi kehé ke Fakahaaʻi ʻEnau Ngaahi Ongó
Ko e taimi ʻoku faingataʻaʻia ai ha taha ʻoku tau tokanga ki aí, ʻoku ʻikai faʻa mapuleʻi ʻetau ʻoho ʻo kau mo kumi ha founga he taimi pē ko iá ke tokoní. Ka ʻi hoʻo fai iá, ʻe lava ke toʻo ai mei he fakafoʻituituí ha faingamālie ke fetuʻutaki ai mo koe mo maʻu ʻa e tokanga fakaeloto ʻoku faʻa fiemaʻu tatau mo ha tokoni fakatuʻasinó.
Naʻa mo ha tūkunga faingataʻa, ʻoku mahuʻinga ke fakafanongo tokanga ki he tokotahá. Tokanga taha pē ki he tokotaha ʻokú ke feinga ke tokoniʻí, ʻaki ho lotó kotoa. Fakalotolahiʻi pea tukuange ke nau fakamatalaʻi ʻenau ongó. ʻE lava ʻe he fakahaaʻi ʻo e ngaahi ongo ko ʻení ki ha niʻihi kehé, ʻo fakaava ai ha ngaahi matapā ki ha tupulaki fakalaumālie lahi mo ha ngaahi aʻusia langaki-tuí.
Neongo ʻoku lelei ke poupouʻi ʻa kinautolu ʻoku ongoʻi taʻefiemālié ke fakamatalaʻi ʻenau ngaahi aʻusiá, ka ʻoku totonu ke ʻoua naʻá ke fakamālohiʻi kinautolu ke nau fakamatala ki heʻenau ngaahi ongó pe ki ha meʻa ʻoku ʻikai ke nau mateuteu ke fakamatalaʻi. ʻE ala kau ʻeni ʻi he ngaahi fehuʻi te ke lava ʻo faí:
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“Ko e hā ʻa e meʻa ʻokú ke tokanga lahi taha ki ai he taimi ní?”
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“Ko e hā ʻa e faʻahinga founga ʻokú ke fakaʻaongaʻi ke matuʻuaki aí?
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“Ko e hā ʻa e ngaahi meʻa faingataʻa taha kuó ke fehangahangai mo ia he uike ní?”
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“Ko e hā ha ngaahi mālohinga ʻokú ke fakatokangaʻi ʻiate koe mo e niʻihi kehé?”
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“Ko e hā ha ngaahi meʻa ʻokú ke hohaʻa ki ai fekauʻaki mo e kahaʻú?
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“ʻOku tokoniʻi fēfeeʻi koe ʻe hoʻo tuí?
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“ʻOku ʻi ai ha meʻa fekauʻaki mo ho kuohilí ʻokú ke hohaʻa ki ai?”
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“Te ke fie vahevahe ha taimi naʻá ke aʻusia ai ha fakamoʻui ʻi hoʻo moʻuí?”
Loto-Mahino pea ʻAi Ke Hā Angamaheni Pē ʻa e Ngaahi Talí
ʻI hoʻo feinga ko ia ke ngāue fakaetauhi ki ha taha ʻokú ne foua ha ngaahi pole, ʻoku mahuʻinga ke manatuʻi ʻoku kehekehe ʻa e taha kotoa pea ʻe kehe ʻa ʻene meʻa ʻe fai ʻi ha palopalema. Tatau ai pē pe naʻá ke fehangahangai mo ha ngaahi faingataʻa tatau ʻi hoʻo moʻuí, ʻiloʻi ʻe kehe hoʻo aʻusiá mei he niʻihi kehé.
ʻOku mahuʻinga ke tuku ke foua ʻe he niʻihi kehé ʻenau ngaahi aʻusia pē ʻanautolú. Fai ha ngaahi fehuʻi fekauʻaki mo e ongo ʻoku maʻu ʻe he niʻihi kehé mo e meʻa ʻoku nau fouá. Neongo kapau he ʻikai mahino kiate koe ʻa e ngaahi aʻusia mo e ngaahi ongo ʻoku nau fakamatalaʻí, ka te ke lava ʻo tokoni ke nau ʻiloʻi ʻoku sai pē ke ʻikai ke te ongoʻi fiemālie ʻi he taimí ni. Te ke ala lea ʻaki ha ngaahi meʻa hangē ko ʻení:
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“ʻOku ʻikai mahino kakato kiate au ʻa e mamahi ʻokú ke ongoʻí, ka ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi ʻoku pau pē ʻoku faingataʻa ʻeni kiate koe.”
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“ʻOku ʻikai ke ʻi ai ha ongo ia ʻe ʻhala.’ Ko e hā pē ha ongo ʻokú ke maʻu, ʻoku sai pē ia.”
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“ʻOku angamaheni pē ke te ongoʻi ʻo hangē ʻoku ʻikai ke tau toe mapuleʻi ʻetau fakakaukaú mo e ngaahi ongó.”
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“ʻOku kehe e meʻa ʻoku fai ʻe he tokotaha kotoa—ʻoku sai pē ke te ongoʻi mālohi mo lelei, pea ʻoku sai pē ke te fāifeinga.”
ʻE ala ongoʻi ʻe he kakai ʻoku faingataʻaʻiá ʻa e mamahí, ʻitá, puputuʻú, hē, ongonoá, halaiá, fakaʻofá, pe ko ha ngaahi toe ongo kehe. . ʻIkai ko ia pē, te nau ala fefaʻuhi mo e taʻe-mamohé, ngaahi langa ʻulú, mo e ngaahi langa keté, pea mole honau uʻá, liliu e ngaahi ngāue fakaʻahó, mo e ngaahi ngāue ʻo e tuí. Tokoni ke nau faʻa kātaki mo maʻu ha lotoʻofa ʻiate kinautolu. Pea tokoniʻi ke nau ʻiloʻi ʻokú ke ʻofa ʻiate kinautolu mo e kāingalotu fakalotofonua kehe ʻo e Siasí, mo ʻi ai ke tokoniʻi kinautolu.
Fokotuʻu ha Ngaahi Founga ke Matuʻuaki Ai
Kapau ʻoku tonu ʻa e meʻa ʻoku hokó, ko ha konga leva ho fatongia ki he ngaahi aʻusia ʻokú ke fouá, ʻe ala kau ai hano fokotuʻu ʻo e ngaahi founga ke tokoni aí. Kumi ha ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni kehe te ke lava ʻo vahevahe, ʻo ka fiemaʻu. ʻE lava ke kau ʻi he ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni ko ʻení ha ngaahi potufolofola ʻoku ala fakaʻaongaʻi, ngaahi lea, mo ha ngaahi fakamatala kehe. ʻE lava ke kau ai ha ngaahi maʻuʻanga fakamatala falalaʻanga fekauʻaki mo e palōpalema ʻoku nau fekuki mo iá. ʻE lava foki ke hoko ʻa e foomu “Facing Challenges: A Self Help Guide” ke hoko ko ha maʻuʻanga tokoni ʻaonga.
ʻI ha ngaahi tūkunga ʻe niʻihi, ʻe ala taau ai ke fakamatala ki haʻo ngaahi aʻusia ʻi ha ngaahi faingataʻa pau. Neongo ia, ʻoku totonu ke ke tokanga ki hono vahevahe ʻo e ngaahi talanoa mei ho kuohilí. ʻOku mahuʻinga ke nofotaha ʻa e talanoá ʻi he tokotaha ʻokú ke feinga ke tokoniʻí.
Te ke ala fiemaʻu ke fakamatalaʻi ha ngaahi founga ke mapuleʻi ai hoʻo ngaahi ongó mo e loto mafasiá ʻo hangē ko ʻení:
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Tuku ha taimi ke tokangaʻi ai kitautolu, kau ai ha meʻakai fakatupu moʻui lelei, inu, haisini, fakamālohisinó, mohé, mo e ngaahi faitoʻo ʻoku fakangofua mei he toketaá
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Fakangatangata ʻa e ngaahi ongoongó mo e mītia fakasōsialé
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Femoʻuekina ʻi he tokoni ki he niʻihi kehé ʻi he meʻa ʻoku tau lavá
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Ako ke fakatokangameʻa pe fakamālohisinoʻi ʻa e mānavá
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Fehangahangai mo e moʻuí fakaʻaho, fakahoua, mo fakaminiti
Ke ako lahi ange ki he kaveingá ni, ʻahiʻahi fai ha ngaahi fehuʻi hangē ko ʻení:
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“Ko e hā hoʻo ngaahi founga ke matuʻuaki aí? Ko e hā kuo tokoni kiate koe ʻi hoʻo fekuki mo e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻi he kuohilí?”
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“ʻOkú ke tokangaʻi fēfē hoʻo moʻui fakaesinó mo fakaʻatamaí?”
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“ʻOku tokoniʻi fēfeeʻi koe ʻe hoʻo tuí? ʻOku fēfē hoʻo falala ki he ʻEikí?”
ʻI ha ngaahi tūkunga ʻe niʻihi, ʻe ala taau ai ke ke fakalotolahiʻi ʻa e tokotaha fiemaʻú ke kumi faleʻi pe fakahinohino mei ha taki fakalaumālie pe taha palofesinale ʻi he moʻui fakaʻatamaí. Hangē ko ʻení, kapau ʻokú ke ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻalu ʻa e tokotahá ki he siasi Papitaiso ʻi homou feituʻú, te ke ala poupouʻi ke talanoa mo ʻenau faifekaú ki ha fakahinohino mo ha poupou. Te ke toe lava foki fakafetuʻutaki kinautolu mo hoʻo pīsopé, ʻōfisi fakalotofonua ki he Ngaahi Tokoni ki he Fāmilí, pe ki ha toe maʻuʻanga tokoni kehe.
ʻOua naʻá ke manavasiʻi ke kumi ha toe tokoni kapau ʻokú ke ongoʻi ʻoku fiemaʻu. ʻE lava ke tataki koe ʻe he kau palofesinale ʻi he moʻui lelei fakaeʻatamaí, ngaahi telefoni tokoni ki he taonakitá, mo ha ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni kehe, ʻi hoʻo kumi tokoní.
Foaki ha ʻAmanaki Lelei
Ko Sīsū Kalaisí ko e taha ia ʻo e ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni maʻongoʻonga ʻo e ʻamanaki leleí ʻi māmani. Ki ha niʻihi, ʻe ala hoko ha talanoa mo e kau taki ʻo e Siasí, ha faifekau fakakautau, pe ha kau faifekau kehe, ko ha meʻa fakalaumālie, aʻusia langaki e tuí, ʻi he lotolotonga ʻo ʻenau faingataʻaʻiá. Ka ki ha taha ʻoku fefaʻuhi mo ha palōpalema ʻi he tuí pe faingataʻa lahi fau, mahalo ko hano fakahaaʻi mamafa ʻo e tuí mo e ʻamanakí, he ʻikai ʻaonga ia he taimi ko ʻení.
Meimei ko e founga lelei taha ke foaki ai ha ʻamanaki kiate kinautolu ʻoku nau fiemaʻú, ko haʻo fakahaaʻi mahino ange ʻokú ke ʻi aí, maʻanautolu. Hokohoko atu ke feohi mo kinautolu ʻoku faingataʻaʻiá, pea naʻa mo e taimi ʻoku ʻikai ke ke fakapapauʻi ai ʻa e meʻa keke lea ʻaki pe fakahokó. Te ke ala fakaʻaongaʻi ha ngaahi kupuʻi lea fakatupu ʻamanaki hangē ko ʻení:
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“ʻOku ou ʻi heni mo koe; ʻOku ou fanongo atu.
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“ʻOku ou ʻilo ha kakai te nau lava ʻo tokoni.”
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“Te u toutou vakai mai maʻu pē.”
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“Te u tuku atu ʻa e taimi ʻokú ke fiemaʻú, pea te u ʻatā ke tokoni pea feʻao foki mo koe.”
Manatuʻi ʻoku ʻikai fiemaʻu ia ke ke haohaoa ka ke toki tokoni. Te ke lava pē ke tokoni ʻaki hoʻo fakahaaʻi ʻokú ke ʻi aí.
Aofangatukú
ʻI hoʻo feinga ko ia ke tokoniʻi ʻa e niʻihi fakafoʻituitui ʻoku nau foua ʻa e faingataʻá, manatuʻi ko ho tufakangá ke tokoni pea mo ʻofa. Lotua ha fakahinohino mei he ʻEikí ʻi he founga lelei taha ke tokoniʻi ai ʻa e niʻihi fakafoʻituitui ʻi hoʻo ngāue fakalotú. Ngāue ʻaki hoʻo tuí ʻi hoʻo fakahoko ʻa e ngaahi ueʻi ko iá. Kumi ha tokoni mo ha ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni mei ho kau taki fakalaumālié pea mo e kau palofesinale ʻoku mou feohí. ʻI hoʻo fai iá, ʻe tāpuekina fakatouʻosi koe mo kinautolu ʻokú ke feinga ke tokoniʻí.