“Wet Cement and Real Womanhood,” New Era, Feb. 2015, 28–31
Wet Cement and Real Womanhood
Hillary Olsen lives in Utah, USA.
Don’t get stuck in the ways of the world.
Illustrations by Casey Nelson
When she stepped, I stepped. When she flipped her hair, I flipped mine. I made sure to adjust my backpack so that it was slung over one shoulder, just like hers was.
The girl walking ahead of me was a few years older than I was. I didn’t even know her, but she seemed so cool. I was convinced that if I could mimic her walk perfectly, I’d be cool too.
At one point she stepped off the sidewalk and walked on the side of the road, so I followed suit. After a while, she stepped back onto the sidewalk. I did the same, only—squish! The moment I stepped back onto the sidewalk, my feet sank a few inches. I stood there in shock for several seconds before realizing what had happened. I had stepped right into wet cement! The girl had stepped off the sidewalk to avoid the wet cement, and I had been so caught up in imitating her walk that I hadn’t even noticed.
I was beyond embarrassed. It didn’t occur to me to step back onto the side of the road; instead, I tromped through the wet cement until I reached solid ground. Luckily the girl continued walking and didn’t notice me, but the dried clumps of concrete that clung to my shoelaces the rest of the day served as a reminder of my failed attempt at being cool.
The Right Focuses
I was only six at the time of the wet-cement fiasco, and I’ve obviously learned since then that a cool way of walking is not the most important thing to aspire to. Focusing on the wrong thing ended up leading me right into wet cement. To avoid getting led into “wet cement” yourself, it’s important to focus on the right things.
The world is quick to give examples of what girls, young women, and women should seek after. But those ideals are increasingly different from what the Lord wants for His precious daughters. Because the Lord loves you, He sends guidance through Church leaders to help you as you grow. Here are four of the many things that you can aspire to as a daughter of God.
1. Developing Talents
Do you have a dream? Pursue it! Is there a skill you wish you had? Learn it!
The Lord wants you to dream. He wants you to set goals and work toward them. (Just look at all that Personal Progress helps you learn!) He wants you to pursue worthy hobbies that help you grow and serve. You’re you for a reason. You’ve been given gifts, talents, and desires so that you can grow and be a unique part of His work.
It’s easy to underestimate your potential. One of the adversary’s tactics is to cause you to focus on what you’re not good at rather than what you are good at, making you think you have no creativity. “If that is how you feel,” President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, urges, “think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. … You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.”1
Pursuing your dreams and developing talents will help you to serve others, reach your potential, and find joy in womanhood. As in all things, follow the voice of the Spirit in deciding what to pursue among all your options. The Lord knows better than anyone what you are capable of and how He needs you to serve.
2. Discovering True Beauty
Have you ever met someone who seemed to have a glow about them? It’s beautiful! That’s their true, inner beauty shining brightly. This is the kind of beauty your Heavenly Father wants you to aspire to.
The world will tell you that it’s what’s on the outside that matters. The right hair, makeup, clothes, accessories—it’s exhausting to keep up with the world’s trends. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, “One would truly need a great and spacious makeup kit to compete with beauty as portrayed in media all around us.”2
Of course, it’s important to look your best as a representative of Christ, take care of your body, and be healthy. And it’s OK to wear makeup. When used in moderation, it can enhance natural beauty. But the Lord wants you to focus on the genuine beauty inside you. He wants you to let it shine. “No amount of eye shadow, lipstick, or mascara could possibly compete with the natural attractiveness of a genuine smile. It brightens the room. It cheers others. It communicates friendship, love, and optimism so much more than any cosmetic ever could.”3
This is the kind of beauty that “doesn’t wash off. It is spiritual attractiveness. Deep beauty springs from virtue. It is the beauty of being chaste and morally clean. It is the kind of beauty that you see in the eyes of virtuous women. … It is a beauty that is earned through faith, repentance, and honoring covenants.”4
Smile! You are exquisite! As you focus on living a clean and virtuous life, you’ll let your true, inner beauty shine.
3. Embracing Motherhood
The Lord has given women the sacred responsibility of motherhood. Mothers are so important to the Lord’s plan! “The world won’t tell you that, but the Spirit will.”5
Nothing can “exceed the ultimate rewards of family,” and “there is not a higher good than motherhood … in marriage.”6 You live in a world where the choice to be a mother requires more and more courage, but the Lord has prepared you to make the choice. He has placed within you “divine qualities of strength, virtue, love, and the willingness to sacrifice to raise future generations of His spirit children.”7 As a daughter of God, you have those qualities as part of your divine nature, and you can be a great force for good even before you are a mother.
The blessings of raising children will come at different times to everyone. “The Lord’s timetable for each of us does not negate our nature. … All around us are those who need to be loved and led.”8 All around you are people who need your love and leadership.
You can use the divine characteristics the Lord has given you as a nurturer to bless those around you. Seek now to develop those qualities. They will give you opportunities to bless those around you in a powerful, loving way and to prepare to one day be a mother.
4. Focusing on Eternal Goals
You came to earth with very specific, eternal goals. Learning to have faith, following the Savior’s example, and receiving necessary ordinances—all of these things will help you return to your Father’s presence.
But there are many things to distract us along the way; that’s why it’s important to remember our eternal goals. “In all that you do, stay focused on the temple. In the temple you will receive the greatest of all the Lord’s blessings, including marriage for time and all eternity.”9
This is a wonderful time to be a young woman in the Lord’s kingdom! While there are many worthwhile pursuits in life, be sure to focus on your eternal goals of being worthy to enter the temple, making and keeping covenants, and becoming more like the Savior.
Becoming a Woman of Christ
These and other righteous focuses will keep your feet on spiritually solid ground and help you steer clear of “wet cement.” You will find joy as you reach your potential as a daughter of God.
Elder Holland has taught: “Be a woman of Christ. Cherish your esteemed place in the sight of God. He needs you. This Church needs you. The world needs you. A woman’s abiding trust in God and unfailing devotion to things of the Spirit have always been an anchor when the wind and the waves of life were fiercest.”10
Following the counsel of Church leaders and focusing on the right goals will help you become the woman of God the Lord wants you to be. There’s nothing cooler than that.