Fakaʻilekitulōnika Pē: Kakai Lalahi Kei Talavoú
Tokoni ʻe 7 ki Hono Tauhi ʻo e Vā Fetuʻutaki Vāmamaʻó
Kapau ʻoku nofo mamaʻo ʻa e tokotaha ʻoku ngali ʻe hoko ko hoʻo hoa taʻengatá, ko e ngaahi founga ʻeni ke faingofua ange ai e feohí.
Ko hono maʻu ko ia ha tokotaha angaʻofa mo lelei ke te fie feohi mo ia ʻi he toenga ʻete moʻuí ʻe lava ke faingataʻa ia. Kae hiliō ai ʻa e faingataʻa ko ia ʻo e fie maʻu ha taha ʻoku taau mo e temipalé pea tatau hoʻomo ngaahi tuʻunga moʻuí mo e tuí pea nofo ofi mai pē ke lava ha feohí, ʻe hangē ka ongo taʻemalavá ia. Ka ʻi hono faʻu ko ia ʻo e ʻinitanetí, fetalanoaʻaki vitioó, teiti ʻi he ʻinitanetí, mo e ngaahi polokalama teití, ʻoku angamaheni ange ai ʻa e ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki vāmamaʻó ʻi ha toe taimi kimuʻa, ʻa ia ko ha ongoongo lelei ia ki he tokolahi ʻo e Kāingalotu ʻo e Siasí ʻoku nofo ʻi he ngaahi feituʻu fakaemāmani lahi ʻo e Siasí ʻa ia ʻoku tokosiʻi mo nofo vāmamaʻo ai ʻa e kāingalotú.
Kae meʻa mālié, kuo lahi ha ngaahi faleʻi lelei kuo tau maʻu mei hotau kau taki ʻo e Siasí fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki ʻi he teití ʻo tatau ai pē pe ko e hā e vāmamaʻó. Naʻe pehē ʻe ʻEletā Sefilī R. Hōlani ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá, kapau ʻoku tau “fie maʻu ʻa e ivi malavá, malú mo e haó ʻi he teití mo e faikaumeʻá, ʻo tatau pē ʻi he nofo-malí mo e taʻengatá,” ta ʻoku fie maʻu ke tau “hoko ko ha ākonga moʻoni ʻo Sīsū” (“How Do I Love Thee?” New Era, Oct. 2003, 8). Makehe mei aí, ko e ngaahi tokoni ʻeni ʻe fitu ki he founga ke tauhi ai ha vā fetuʻutaki vāmamaʻo:
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Fakahoko maʻu pē. Kumi ha taimi-tēpile ʻoku lelei kiate kimoua fakatouʻosi. Kuo tokolahi ha ngaahi hoa mali ne nau foua e feohi vāmamaʻó naʻa nau pehē, ne hoko ʻenau talanoa ʻi he telefoní pe fetalanoaʻaki vitiō ʻi he ʻaho kotoa peé ke liliu ai e meʻa kotoa pē ʻi heʻenau feohí. Mahalo pē ʻoku ʻikai haʻo taimi ke mo talanoa ai he ʻaho kotoa pē, ka ʻoku totonu ke ke fakataimi-tēpileʻi ha taimi maʻá e tokotaha kehé.
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Fakahoko maʻu pē ho lelei tahá ke pēseti ʻe 100. ʻOku ʻikai ke faʻa ola lelei e ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki vāmamaʻó ʻi he taimi ʻoku ʻikai ke tukupā kakato ai ha taha he ongomeʻá pe fakatouʻosi ke feinga ke hoko iá. ʻI he taimi ʻokú ke fakatukupaaʻi ai ke fakahaaʻi mo tala ki he tokotaha ʻe tahá ʻokú ke tokanga moʻoni kiate iá, neongo hoʻomo vāmamaʻó, te ke kei fetuʻutaki lelei pē mo ia.
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Ko e meʻa mahuʻingá ʻa e fetuʻutakí. ʻI he taimi ʻokú mo fakahoko ai e fetuʻutaki ne taimi-tēpileʻí, tokanga ke ke talanoa tauʻatāina. Tauʻatāina ke vahevahe hoʻo ngaahi ongó, ʻo tatau ai pē pe ʻoku faingataʻa mo ʻikai lelei pe fakamāfana mo fakafiefia. ʻI hono fakahaaʻi tauʻatāina e ngaahi meʻá ni, te ne fakamālohia ai hoʻo vā fetuʻutakí, pea te ke lava ʻo ongoʻi vāofi neongo e vāmamaʻo fakatuʻasinó.
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Feinga ke fakamānako! Koeʻuhí ʻoku hanga ʻe he vāmamaʻó ʻo ʻai ke faingataʻa hoʻomo ongo fakatuʻasinó, ʻoku totonu ke ke fekumi ki ha ngaahi founga kehe ke fakahaaʻi ai hoʻo tokangá. Te ke lava ʻo fakaʻohovaleʻi kinautolu ʻaki ha fanga kiʻi pōpoaki ʻi he lolotonga ʻo e ʻahó. Te ke lava ʻo ʻave ha meʻakai pe matalaʻiʻakau kiate kinautolu. Pea ʻe lelei maʻu pē ke fai ha kiʻi tohi mahino mo fakamātoato ʻo ʻave ʻi he meilí!
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Faʻu ha ʻātakai ʻoku fakalaumālié. Feinga ke fai ha kiʻi efiafi fakafāmili fakauike pe fakataha lotu fakataha. Mamataʻi fakataha ha lea he konifelenisi lahí pea aleaʻi e meʻa naʻá mo akó pe talanoaʻi e lēsoni Haʻu, ʻo Muimui ʻIate Au ki he uike ko iá. ʻI hono fakamālohia ko ia hoʻo fehokotaki fakalaumālié te ne fakamālohia ai foki mo hoʻo fehokotaki feʻofaʻakí!
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Tuku ha taimi ke mo fetaulaki ai. ʻE ʻikai ke feʻunga pē ʻa e fesiofaki ʻi he telefoní ʻi ha vahaʻa taimi lōloa. Feinga ke palani ke mo fetaulaki ki he lahi taha ʻe ala lavá. ʻOua ʻe fakamoleki kotoa hoʻo paʻangá ke mo fesiofaki maʻu pē, kae feinga ke mo fetaulaki tuʻo taha ʻi ha ngaahi māhina siʻi ʻo kapau ʻoku taimi lōloa e māvaé.
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Faitotonu maʻu pē. Ko e meʻa mahuʻinga taha ʻo e fetuʻutakí ko e faitotonú. ʻAi ke ʻilo ʻe he tokotaha ʻe tahá ʻa e ongo ʻokú ke maʻú pea mo hoʻo ngaahi ʻamanaki ki hoʻomo vā fetuʻutakí. ʻOku fie maʻu kimoua fakatouʻosi ke mo ʻi he tafaʻaki tatau kae lava ke ola lelei hoʻomo vā fetuʻutakí, pea ko e founga pē ʻe lava ke hoko ai iá kapau te mo fakatou fili ke fefaitotonuʻaki. ʻI he taimi te ke fakahoko ai iá, ʻe lava ke fakalakalaka hoʻomo vā fetuʻutakí pea tupulaki ia ki ha meʻa te ne tāpuekina koe ʻo taʻengata.
Manatuʻi ko e vā fetuʻutaki ʻi he teití—ʻo tatau ai pē pe ʻoku vāofi pe vāmamaʻo—ʻoku totonu ke fakatefito ia ʻi he feohi fakakaumeʻá. Hangē ko e lea ʻa Sisitā Susana W. Tena, ko e Palesiteni Lahi mālōlō ʻo e Kau Finemuí, “Ko e feohi fakakaumeʻá ʻa e makatuʻunga ʻoku totonu ke langa pea tupulaki ai ʻa e faikaumeʻá mo e nofo-malí” (“Making Dating Smooth Sailing,” New Era, Oct. 2004, 28).