2020
ʻIloʻi ʻa e Ngaohikovia Fakaelotó
ʻOkatopa 2020


Fakaʻilekitulōnika Pē

ʻIloʻi ʻa e Ngaohikovia Fakaelotó

“ʻOku ʻikai natula ngaohikovia hoku husepānití. ʻOkú ne kailaʻi au pea ui ʻaki au ha ngaahi hingoa, ka ʻoku ʻikai ko e ngaohikoviá ia, ko ia?

ʻOku tau ʻilo ʻoku “valokiʻi ʻe he ʻEikí ʻa e tōʻonga ngaohikovia ʻi ha faʻahinga pē.”1 Pea ʻoku ʻi ai ʻa e faʻahinga ngaohikovia hangē ko e ngaohikovia fakatuʻasinó, ʻoku faingofua hono ʻiloʻí, ka ʻoku faingataʻa ke fakatokangaʻi ʻa e ngaohikovia fakaelotó. ʻOku kau ʻi he maumau ʻe ala hokó ʻa e puputuʻú, manavaheé, maá, siva e ʻamanakí, mo e ongoʻi holo hoto mahuʻingá.

Ko e ngaohikovia fakaelotó ko e feinga ia ʻa ha tokotaha ke toʻo ʻa e tauʻatāina ke fili ʻa ha taha kehe pea puleʻi e tokotaha ko iá ʻi he lea mo e tōʻonga ʻokú ne ofeʻi ʻa e ngaahi ongó mo e filí. ʻE lava ke hoko ʻa e ngaohikovia fakaelotó ʻi ha faʻahinga vā fetuʻutaki pē: ʻi he vā ʻo e hoamalí, vā ʻo e mātuʻá mo e fānaú, vā mo e kaungāmeʻá, vā mo e kaumeʻá, pe vā fakakaungāué.

Ko e Hā Ha Ngaahi Sīpinga ʻo e Ngaohikovia Fakaelotó?

ʻE tokoni hono ʻiloʻi ʻo e ngaahi fakaʻilonga ngaohikovia fakaelotó ke maluʻi koe mo e niʻihi ʻokú ke ʻofa aí. ʻOku kau ʻi he ngaahi tōʻonga ngaohikoviá ʻa e:

  • Ui ʻaki koe ha ngaahi hingoa pe lea tukuhifo.

  • Fakamaaʻi koe ʻi he kakaí.

  • Fakaangaʻi pe taʻe fakamahuʻingaʻi hoʻo ngaahi lavameʻá pe ngāue ʻokú ke fakahokó.

  • Tukuakiʻi koe ʻaki ʻenau ngaahi tōʻongá pea ʻikai tali ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku hoko maí.

  • ʻAi koe ke ke ongoʻi halaia ke ke fai ha meʻa maʻanautolu koeʻuhí ne nau fai ha meʻa maʻau.

  • Taʻofi hoʻo feohi mo e niʻihi kehé pea puleʻi e founga ʻokú ke fakaʻaongaʻi ki ai ho taimí.

  • Fakamanamanaʻi koe kapau he ʻikai ke ke fai ha ngaahi tōʻonga pe meʻa pau.

  • ʻIkai ke fakahaaʻi ha ongoʻi ʻofa kae ʻoua kuó ke fai ha meʻa pau maʻanautolu.

  • Kākaaʻi fakalaumālie koe ʻaki hono fakaʻaongaʻi e ngaahi tui fakalotú ke puleʻi koe.

Te u Fakatokangaʻi Fēfē ʻa e Ngaohikovia Fakaelotó?

ʻOku mahuʻinga ʻaupito ke ke maheni mo e ngaahi tōʻonga ʻo e ngaohikoviá mo e ngaahi fakaʻilonga fakatokanga mei ho lotó. Ko e ngaahi sīpinga fakakaukau angamaheni ʻeni mo e ngaahi fili te ne lava ʻo pukepuke koe ʻi ha vā fetuʻutaki ʻoku ngaohikovia fakaeloto:

  1. Fakamolemoleʻi pē e tōʻonga ʻa e tokotaha ʻokú ne ngaohikovia koé:

  2. Fakatonuhiaʻi e tōʻonga ʻa e tokotaha ʻokú ne ngaohikovia koé: “ʻOku ʻikai ke ne angamaheni ʻaki hono fakahoko ʻení—ʻoku lahi ha ngaahi meʻa ʻokú ne lōmekina ia ʻi he taimí ni.”

  3. ʻAi ke hā ngali siʻisiʻi ʻa e tōʻongá: “ʻOku ʻikai ko ha fuʻu meʻa fēfē ia.”

  4. Tukuakiʻi koe ki heʻenau tōʻongá: “Kapau pē naʻe maau kei taimi e meʻatokoni efiafí, naʻe ʻikai ke ne fuʻu ʻita lahi ʻo kaikailaʻi au.”

  5. Tukunoaʻi ʻa e taʻe fiemālie fakaelotó. ʻI he kamataʻanga ʻo hoʻo hoko ko ha tokotaha ʻoku ngaohikovia fakaelotó, mahalo te ke fakamamaʻo mei he tokotaha ngaohikoviá, koeʻuhí ʻokú ke ongoʻi taʻe fiemālie pe te ke ongoʻi halaia ʻi he taimi ʻokú mo feohi aí. Ke fakahaofi ʻa e vā fetuʻutakí, mahalo te ke tukunoaʻi ʻa e ngaahi ongoʻi taʻe fiemālié. Hili ha taimi, ʻe mole ʻa e taʻe fiemālie ko iá koeʻuhí ko e fakaʻau ke ke anga ki heʻenau tōʻongá.

  6. Fakaʻaongaʻi ʻa e ngaahi tui fakalotú ke fakatonuhiaʻi ʻa e tūkungá. Ko e meʻa angamaheni ʻeni ʻi hotau sōsaietí, ʻo kau ai e kāingalotu ʻo e Siasí. ʻE ala fakakaukau peheni ʻa e tokotaha ʻoku ngaohikoviá: “ʻOku fekauʻi kitautolu ʻe he ʻEikí, ke tau faʻa fakamolemole. ʻOku ou faiangahala kapau he ʻikai ke u fakamolemoleʻi.” Ko e fakamolemolé ko ha fekau ia. Kae hangē ko e ako ʻa ʻEletā Sefilī R. Hōlani fekauʻaki mo e Fakamoʻuí, “Naʻe ʻikai ke Ne pehē, ʻʻOku ʻikai ngofua ke mou ongoʻi ʻa e mamahi moʻoní pe loto mamahi moʻoní, ʻi he ngaahi aʻusia fakamamahi mei he nima ʻo ha taha.’ Pe naʻá Ne pehē, ʻKoeʻuhí ke fakamolemoleʻi kakato kimoutolu, kuo pau ke mou toe foki ki ha ngaahi tūkunga ʻoku ʻikai lelei pe tuʻunga ngaohikovia, pe maumau.’”2

  7. Liʻaki hoʻo ngaahi fiemaʻu vivilí. ʻOkú ke feau ʻa e ngaahi fiemaʻu ʻa e niʻihi kehé kae ʻikai tokangaʻi hoʻo ngaahi fiemaʻú. Hangē ko ʻení, fefaʻuhi mo e ngaahi faingataʻa fakaelotó kae ʻoua ʻe fakalaveaʻi ha loto ʻo ha taha kehe pe ko hono foaki ha paʻanga ki ha kaungāmeʻa, neongo ʻoku ʻikai ke ke maʻu ia.

  8. Ongoʻi ʻoku ʻikai hao mahuʻinga. ʻE lava ʻe he ngaohikovia fakaelotó ʻo fakafeʻātungiaʻi hoʻo ongoʻi ʻoku ʻi ai ho mahuʻingá. Ko e foha pe ʻofefine koe ʻo e ʻOtuá pea ʻoku ʻi ai ho natula fakalangi mo e ikuʻanga pau. Ko ho mahuʻingá ʻoku lahi pea he ʻikai lava ia ʻo liliu (vakai, Tokāteline mo e Ngaahi Fuakava 18:10).

Ko e Hā Te u Lava ʻo Fai Kapau ʻOku Ngaohikovia Fakaeloto Au?

ʻI he taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻoku fuʻu fakatupu maumau ʻa e vā fetuʻutaki ʻoku ngaohikovia fakaelotó pea ʻoku fuʻu fie maʻu ke ke mavahe mei he vā fetuʻutakí. Ka neongo iá, ʻoku ʻikai ko e mavahé pē ʻa e fili ke fai ʻi he tūkunga kotoa. ʻOku malava ʻa e liliú, pea ʻe lava ʻo fakatupu moʻui lelei ʻa e vā fetuʻutakí ʻi ha ngāue pea faʻa fie maʻu ʻa e tokoni ʻa ha tokotaha fakapalōfesinale. Kapau ʻokú ke tui ʻokú ke ʻi ha vā fetuʻutaki ngaohikovia fakaeloto, ʻe ala tokoni ʻa e ngaahi meʻá ni:

  1. Kumi ʻa e poupou mo e tokoni ʻa ha tokotaha falalaʻanga te ke lava ʻo vahevahe ki ai hoʻo ngaahi aʻusiá, hangē ko ha kaungāmeʻa, taki faka-Siasi, pe ko ha tokotaha fakapalofesinale ʻi ha kautaha he koló. ʻE lava ʻa e tokotahá ni ʻo tokoniʻi fakaeloto koe mo ʻoatu e fakakaukau lelei ki ho tuʻungá pea lava ʻo feohi lelei mo koe ʻi hoʻo mavahe mei he tokotaha ʻokú ne fakahoko ʻa e ngaohikoviá. (Vakai, abuse.ChurchofJesusChrist.org. Lomiʻi ʻi he “In Crisis” ki ha lisi ʻo e kautaha tokoní.)

  2. Fokotuʻu pea tauhi ʻa e ngaahi ngatangataʻangá mo e tokotaha ʻokú ne fakahaaʻi ʻa e tōʻonga ngaohikoviá ʻaki hono fakatokangaʻi ʻo e tōʻonga ngaohikoviá pea fokotuʻu ha ngaahi fakangatangata ki homo vā fetuʻutakí. Te ke lava ʻo pehē, “ʻOku ou ongoʻi ʻoku ʻikai ke ke fakaʻapaʻapaʻi au he taimí ni. ʻOku ou fie talanoa mo koe, ka he ʻikai ke u fai ia kae ʻoleva ke ke ngaohi leleiʻi mo fakaʻapaʻapaʻi au.”

  3. Maʻu ha tokoni mei ha tokotaha faleʻi fakapalōfesinale ʻoku ʻilo lahi ki he ngaohikovia fakaelotó mo hono ngaahi nunuʻá. ʻOku ʻikai faʻa ʻilo ʻe he niʻihi ʻoku nau fakahoko ʻa e ngaohikoviá ʻi he taimi ʻe niʻihi, ʻoku nau tōʻonga pehē. Te nau lava ʻo ako ke liliu ʻo kapau te nau loto-fiemālie ke fekumi ki ha tokoni. Kapau he ʻikai hokohoko atu ʻa e vā fetuʻutakí, ʻe tokoni e fekumi ki ha tokoni fakapalōfesinalé, fakataha mo e tokoni ʻa e ʻEikí ke fakamoʻui koe.

  4. Te ke maʻu ha fakamatala mo e naunau maʻuʻanga tokoni lahi ange ʻi he abuse.ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

Neongo pe ko e hā ho tūkungá, ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻi ai ʻa e kakai ʻoku nau ʻofeina koe pea fie tokoni atu. ʻI hoʻo ui tokoni ki hoʻo Tamai Hēvaní, mo e Fakamoʻuí, mo e Laumālie Māʻoniʻoní, ʻe malava ke maʻu e ʻamanaki leleí mo e fakamoʻuí.

Maʻuʻanga fakamatalá

  1. Tohi ʻa e Kau Palesitenisī ʻUluakí, “Responding to Abuse,” July 28, 2008.

  2. Jeffrey R. Holland, “Ko e Ngāue ʻo e Fakaleleí,” Ensign pe Liahona, Nōvema 2018, 79.