How I Gained a Testimony of the Book of Mormon
I understood logically that what the missionaries were saying was true, but to gain a testimony of my own, I needed to let the truths of the gospel into both my head and my heart.
The author, dressed as an extra on the set of the Book of Mormon videos.
Photograph by Mindy Selu
“And it came to pass that Jesus commanded his disciples that they should bring forth some bread and wine unto him. …
“And when they had eaten and were filled, he commanded that they should give unto the multitude” (3 Nephi 18:1, 4).
Although I wasn’t actually there when Jesus Christ visited the Nephites and instituted the sacrament, it was still special to watch it be reenacted as an extra on the set of the Book of Mormon videos. It took me back to my own experience, just months earlier, of taking the sacrament for the first time.
The account of Christ’s time among the Nephites is considered the pinnacle of the Book of Mormon, a true testament that God loves all His children. My personal testimony of the Book of Mormon came slowly, after long periods of pondering. But I was now participating in a project I knew would make this story more than just words on a page, and I hoped it would help others come to the same conclusion I had earlier this year—that the Book of Mormon was true and could change lives.
Letting Gospel Truths into My Head and My Heart
My conversion story started when I became a law student at Brigham Young University. I didn’t even make it to the first day of classes without getting into a discussion about the Church. During orientation, I listened as my fellow classmates talked about where they’d served their missions.
“What’s a mission?” I asked innocently.
My classmates all just looked at me, surprised.
I got the answer to my question—and more information than I’d bargained for. The next day, one of those students texted me to invite me to church. I accepted.
As I continued attending church, I was struck by two things: the simplicity of the service and the strong focus on Christ. I come from a fairly religious background. I’ve always had a deep interest in spirituality and theology, especially the teachings surrounding Jesus Christ, so while I wasn’t necessarily ready to get on board with everything I heard, my interest was piqued.
So I began meeting with the missionaries. And I started to notice a pattern: it took things longer to get to my heart than they took to get to my head (see Doctrine and Covenants 8:2–3). As I followed through on reading and praying challenges extended by the missionaries, I began to understand, logically, that they were offering information that added to certain principles I already felt were true. But I couldn’t reason my way into wanting to join the Church; I had to feel, and believe, that this was something I needed.
Choosing for Myself
After my first semester of law school ended, I went to visit my family for the holidays but kept meeting with the missionaries virtually. The topic of baptism weighed on my mind; when the elders told me that my baptism as an infant lacked the proper authority and didn’t allow for my agency, I wanted to decide for myself if I thought that was true. So I rummaged through old VHS tapes and found a recording of my baptism from when I was a baby.
A thought came to my head over and over again as I watched the tape: I hadn’t chosen this. I hadn’t had any say. And while the ceremony was beautiful and sincere, I truly understood, in my heart, that baptism and conversion were things I needed to choose for myself.
Even after receiving that inspiration, I realized that I had to choose to make more changes in my life before I’d be ready. I hadn’t worried about my drinking habit when I’d begun meeting with the missionaries since I’d had no real intention of getting baptized at that time, but it was clear to me now that this was a real problem. I didn’t want to give up alcohol—what did my drinking habits have to do with my relationship with Christ?
Another friend from law school sent me a video of President Russell M. Nelson’s conference address where he shared his experience of smashing his parents’ liquor bottles as a young boy.1 As I watched it, I felt what I now know to be the Spirit, telling me to get rid of my own alcohol.
I didn’t smash it on the ground, but I did invite that law school friend who sent me the video to join me as I poured my alcohol away. I felt, as I watched hundreds of dollars’ worth of liquid go down the drain, that this was right. I chose to be baptized just four months after I received that first invitation to go to church.
The Gospel Is for Everyone
The Book of Mormon was one of the last parts of my testimony to fall into place. I believed it was possible that I might kneel down, pray to know if it was true, and not get that confirmation. But I did, and I continue to receive that confirmation as I get to participate in scenes that I read and prayed about not too long ago.
The gospel is for real people. People like me who are broken. It took me a while, but I realized that living my life the way I wanted to wasn’t getting me where I wanted to go. Instead of doing things my way, I needed to do things God’s way.
No matter where you are in your life or what you’ve done in the past, your mistakes don’t dictate your future. The gospel changed my life. It saved me, and I’m a different person from who I was before. God can do the same for you.