My Life Plans Have Failed Over and Over Again, but I Still Choose Hope
Life has always seemed to throw challenges my way, but because of the promises of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, I can always hold on to hope.
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I feel like I have always had to struggle for everything in life. I’ve had challenges with my health, with money, and with anxiety, and I have always had to work extra hard at studying and learning.
When my younger sister and I were baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, things started to look brighter. Though life wasn’t always rosy, I felt a huge relief and right at home in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Principles of the gospel started to make sense, and I began to find answers to why a lot of things were the way they were. I quickly learned about and cherished principles such as faith, service, sacrifice, charity, and forgiveness. And I felt so much comfort from the eternal truths found in the scriptures.
A Failed Engagement
After getting my first degree in university, I had a desire to be married in the temple to a worthy man. I started dating someone who had the same desire as me, and we were looking forward to going to the temple.
But long story short, the marriage didn’t happen.
I felt broken, disappointed, and forsaken. Breaking off my relationship was a life-changing experience and very challenging for me. But during this time, a favorite scripture of mine helped me so much:
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5–6).
I knew that even though the relationship didn’t turn out how I expected it to, if I continued to trust in Heavenly Father, He would lead me along.
Another Halt in My Plans
It’s now been almost 15 years since I joined the Church, and I’m currently serving in my ward’s Relief Society presidency. A lot of the time I still feel quite inadequate, inconsistent, anxious, and even unworthy. But with the help of my bishop and immense love from my Relief Society president, I have felt the burden lessen.
A scripture I have turned to for help in magnifying my calling is 1 Nephi 3:7, which says, “And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”
Recently I started to ponder what’s next for me and what to do with my life. I decided I wanted to further my education by pursuing a master’s study abroad but had no idea how. I didn’t know what resources were available to help me succeed. So, with nothing but faith, I started to apply to schools. Soon I got an offer for a program that wouldn’t cost too much money, but then came COVID-19, which put a halt to my plans.
Once again, I struggled to come to terms with another path in life that didn’t go as expected. But with support from my family and by trusting in the Lord, I found great comfort in the promise that “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6; see also verse 7).
Finding Hope in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ
I know that if I just keep moving forward with small acts of faith and taking steps toward more opportunities, Heavenly Father will keep guiding me to where I want to be and where He wants me to be. He will also help me experience joy along the way.
I do not yet know what the future holds for me or if I will be able to achieve the dreams and goals I have for myself, but I do know this: Even if life is hard for me at times and things don’t make sense, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ’s promises are sure. They are aware of me and my circumstances, They know my desires and hopes, and They are mindful of me and my journey. Knowing this brings me hope and peace and reminds me that as I trust in Them, I’ll be led to great opportunities and joy.