Finding Answers: From Sister to Sister
How Can We See the Beauty in Ourselves That Heavenly Father Sees?
Through prayer and a greater doctrinal understanding, I was able to more clearly see myself as Heavenly Father does.
I hate you.
That’s what I used to think to myself when I looked in the mirror. And I’ve thought that more often than I care to admit.
I knew Heavenly Father wanted me to love myself and would be sad that I hated my body—something He created. But I truly didn’t understand why He would make me look the way I did.
I believed that He had made me ugly, and I struggled (and sometimes still struggle) to see the beauty in me that God apparently sees.
But over the years, a couple of truths have helped me overcome my thoughts of self-hatred. I may not be able to stop them all the time, but I have come a long way from the girl who used to say “I hate you” to herself in the mirror.
1. Heavenly Father Wants Us to Love Ourselves
One of the biggest reasons I’ve struggled to see the beauty in me is because of acne. Several years ago, my mother suggested I do a special fast specifically focusing on my skin. I thought that was silly because for years I had prayed—cried, really—to God to fix my skin. But after realizing that fasting is available for all our needs, I eventually followed my mother’s advice.
I fasted and prayed every Sunday for a month. I asked God to help my skin and to help me see myself as He sees me.
As the month wore on and I continued turning to my Heavenly Father, there may have been some differences in my skin, but the real difference was in the way I perceived myself.
I started to have more confidence and truly love myself. When I was with other people, I enjoyed my time with them rather than worrying about how I looked. My fasts and earnest prayers were answered by a loving Heavenly Father who wanted me to love myself as much as He loves me.
If you struggle to see the beauty in yourself, try serious prayer and fasting. I don’t mean a one-time prayer. I mean a consistent, wrestling-before-God, heart-to-heart kind of prayer, and maybe even specific fasts—the kind of spiritual efforts we read about in the scriptures (see Enos 1). Heavenly Father cares about what is important to us, and when we act in faith, share our righteous desires with Him, and rely on Him for help, He can guide us toward those blessings we seek—including the ability to love ourselves.
When I fasted and prayed and then listened for Heavenly Father’s voice, He helped me do the things I had control over to take care of my body and love myself. Heavenly Father helped me see myself as worthy and lovable not because of my looks but because of my divine worth as someone with talents and gifts.
2. We Can Choose to Believe Heavenly Father’s Truths over the Adversary’s Lies
Ultimately, if you have negative thoughts about your body, those thoughts are coming from the voice of the adversary—a being who doesn’t have a body.
While Satan wants you to be miserable (see 2 Nephi 2:18) and wants you to hate yourself, God wants you to love yourself, including your body. While Satan wants you to believe you’re only lovable if you look a certain way, God wants you to know that He will always love you. While Satan wants you to be jealous and spiteful to others who may look a certain way, God wants us to love everyone. While Satan promotes the idea that earthly beauty is the most important goal in life, God reminds us of our eternal divinity.
President Russell M. Nelson reminded sisters in 2019 that we are not of the world: “As you shift your focus away from worldly distractions, some things that seem important to you now will recede in priority.”1 We can shift our focus away from worldly standards of beauty and turn instead to our loving Father in Heaven.
Setting meaningful goals helps me shift my focus away from worldly distractions and focus instead on my own personal growth. When I direct my time and energy toward my schooling or my job or my passions, I am less concerned about how I look. And when I make time to go to the temple or read the scriptures, God’s love drowns out the voice of Satan and the influence of the world. I find richer joy in knowing I’ve done beautiful things like serve and learn than in knowing the times I looked “perfect.”
3. Our Divine Nature Makes Us Beautiful
I know that Heavenly Father loves me (see John 3:16) and wants me to be happy and live with Him eternally in heaven.
But does He think I’m beautiful?
In the scriptures, we read about how God doesn’t focus on our outward appearance: “The Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
But even if our best intentions are to look on the heart instead of outward appearance, there is so much in the world today that can negatively influence how we feel about our appearance and our bodies.
Luckily, we understand the eternal truth that our bodies were created by a loving Heavenly Father. And our bodies’ divine nature alone makes them beautiful! They also allow us to learn and grow in amazing ways that we would never be able to otherwise.
What Heavenly Father really cares about is us working on a beautiful heart. And the best way to develop a deeper testimony of our divine nature and our inner beauty is by following the Savior’s example (see John 12:26).
When I look in the mirror now, the imperfections still bother me at times. But God reminds me that I am beautiful because I chose to come to earth and receive a body to make it back to Him and because I serve my neighbors, I repent, and I do my best to live like the Savior every day.
As we seek to deflect Satan’s and the world’s lies and turn toward God’s love, we will remember how beautiful it is to simply have a body—however unique and seemingly imperfect it may be.
Take Another Look
In pursuit of a more fulfilling and joyful life, I am striving to see the beauty in myself rather than the flaws. Some days all I can do is accept my acne, do my best to take care of my skin, and acknowledge that I am still beautiful. Being flawed physically does not detract from my divinity or my ability to be loved.
We can see the beauty in ourselves the way Heavenly Father does no matter how different we may look from what we see in the media or elsewhere. So if you have been struggling to love yourself because of how you perceive your outward appearance, take another look, and recognize what God sees: beauty, inside and out.