Life Skills
A Self-Reliance Course Was the Answer I Needed after My Divorce
Through an act of faith, I learned that the Church’s self-reliance programs are truly gifts from Heavenly Father.
As a recently divorced young adult, I dreaded going back to a young single adult (YSA) ward.
But when I finally made the leap of faith and went to my first Sunday at my new ward, I quickly learned about the self-reliance classes that were being offered. I was wanting to learn how to make good decisions for my new life circumstances. So, mustering a lot of faith, I decided to take the Personal Finances class.
Even though I felt nervous and awkward walking into the first self-reliance orientation meeting by myself, not knowing anyone in the ward, I found myself in a group of seven other young single adults. These members in my stake were also interested in becoming more financially responsible, so we already had something in common with each other. As we met each week and discussed the assigned lesson topics, we would report back on our course assignments and also share parts of our testimonies and personal experiences with each other.
As the weeks went by, I felt a surprising connection to this small group of other YSAs from my stake—even though my recent divorce still felt like an invisible barrier separating me from them. I still didn’t feel comfortable talking about my past and felt a bit out of place.
However, our connection to each other led me to feel so comfortable with this group of friends that in one meeting, I shared my story—which at the time was something I rarely divulged to others. And instead of the judgment and rejection I feared, my group members responded compassionately to my disclosure. They continued to support and encourage me throughout the remainder of the class—and some of the friendships continued well after the course ended.
The principles taught in the Self-Reliance Personal Finance course helped me get on the path to financial success and responsibility. I was even able to save up enough to purchase my very first car recently! But surprisingly, this course also strengthened me spiritually, emotionally, and socially. I didn’t just gain self-reliance but also a deeper relationship with and reliance on God as I felt and acknowledged His hand in my life. I felt happier and more peaceful knowing I was using my agency to better my life, even after my circumstances had seemed unfixable.
And the social bonds I developed in that little group led to additional social invitations, fun experiences, and an expanded circle of friends (including others who were silently struggling after divorce as well). The relationships I built through this self-reliance course truly helped to understand the principle of “bear[ing] one another’s burdens” and “comfort[ing] those that stand in need of comfort” (see Mosiah 18:8, 9). Even now, a few years later, if I’m in need or just need to talk to someone, I know I can reach out to my original group members and receive the same Christlike love I felt during our time in this course together.
As Elder Carl B. Cook of the Seventy recently taught: “Regardless of the size, scope, and seriousness of the challenges we face in life, we all have times when we feel like stopping, leaving, escaping, or possibly giving up. But exercising faith in our Savior, Jesus Christ, helps us overcome discouragement no matter what obstacles we encounter.”1
And I saw the Savior’s help enter my life as I acted in faith. I saw the light and goodness this resource of the Church brought into my life when I needed it most. I’ll always be grateful for Heavenly Father, who knows us and wants us to become self-reliant, for leaders who encourage participation in these God-given courses, for the courage I had to walk into that first meeting room as a divorcée, and for the support and love from my fellow YSAs as we discovered together how to become more reliant on ourselves and on the Lord. I would invite all young adults to choose to move forward with faith and indulge in the blessings these courses offer us.