How Repentance Helped Me Progress

By Coleen Mepania

If Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ believe in me enough to keep giving me more chances, why shouldn’t I believe in me too?

When I was still pretty new to being a missionary, my mission president asked me to be a trainer.

I felt so unqualified. How was I supposed to teach a new sister how to be an amazing missionary when I wasn’t sure I had it all figured out myself?

To be honest, I did make a lot of mistakes as a trainer, and I felt really bad about them for a while. But as I began to examine my weaknesses and shortcomings and tried to be better, I gained a testimony that the Lord gives us “weakness that [we] may be humble” because He can make “weak things become strong” (Ether 12:27). I began to learn a lot about repentance, which isn’t just for when we mess up—it’s for any time we want to become more like Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

Since returning home from my mission, I’ve needed to understand that more than ever.

Falling Short

As much as I loved my mission, I struggled to apply the lessons I learned while serving to my life afterward. I ended up returning home sooner than I expected due to mental health struggles and then moved from my home in the Philippines to the United Arab Emirates to start working.

Since moving here, I’ve had a hard time feeling like I’m making progress and moving forward on the covenant path. On my mission, I could devote all my time and energy to the gospel. I worried very little about my temporal needs or what I was going to do with my life after my mission. But now that I’m trying to balance other demands of life, I feel like I keep falling short.

And since I’m lacking both the supportive, faithful community I had back home in the Philippines and the schedule of a missionary that makes progress much easier and clearer, sometimes I feel like I’m not progressing at all.

New Habits and New Hope

As I’ve continued to struggle with these feelings, I’ve felt strongly that I should implement a habit I had on my mission. As a missionary I learned how important it is to connect with Heavenly Father every night through prayer and honestly evaluate my actions each day. I would ask Heavenly Father what I had done well, ask for forgiveness from my sins and for strength to overcome my imperfections, and then ask Him how I could do better the next day.

At first I was scared to start doing this after my mission, especially since I’d been feeling like I was already failing myself and Heavenly Father. I didn’t want to feel even worse about my shortcomings. But I remembered what I’d learned on my mission: repentance brings joy. As Elder Craig C. Christensen of the Seventy explained: “Repenting daily and coming unto Jesus Christ is the way to experience joy—joy beyond our imagination [see 1 Corinthians 2:9]. That is why we are here on earth. That is why God prepared His great plan of happiness for us.”¹

I’m so grateful for that prompting—checking in with Heavenly Father each day has changed so much for me. Realizing that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ give me the chance to become better every day helps me have more self-compassion—if They believe in me enough to keep giving me more chances, why shouldn’t I believe in me too?

As President Russell M. Nelson taught: “Nothing is more liberating, more ennobling, or more crucial to our individual progression than is a regular, daily focus on repentance. … It is the key to happiness and peace of mind.”²

Repentance Is Progress

The truths I’ve learned about repentance have helped me figure out how to keep progressing. As President Nelson explained: “Repenting is the key to progress. Pure faith keeps us moving forward on the covenant path.”³ When I repent, I receive direction and reassurance from the Lord. When I repent, I stay close to Him.

And having compassion for myself and my efforts has given me the motivation to keep progressing. I feel motivated to repent when I believe that I am worth the effort. I want to be closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ when I believe that I am worthy of Their love.

I truly believe there is so much joy, peace, and relief to be found in repentance, no matter what we’re going through. Turn to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Pray to Heavenly Father to know what you can do to be closer to Him and Jesus Christ and be more like Them.

I know you’ll feel Their love and support—and more compassion for yourself—as you do.

The author is from the Philippines.