Especially for Newlyweds
How Do I Become More Committed to My Spouse?
Commitment to the gospel and to our eternal companion goes hand in hand.
When I was young, my parents set an amazing example of being committed to the gospel of Jesus Christ. My family joined the Church in Nairobi, Kenya, but when we moved to Busia soon after, our new city didn’t have enough members for a ward. We tried to attend the nearest branch, which was nine hours away, but it was hard to do it consistently.
However, my parents did not give up on their commitment to the gospel. With permission from local leaders, they found other members in the area and set up Sunday worship services with them. There were only a few families, but it gave us the chance to unite and worship with other members of the Church.
My parents’ example taught me so much about the importance of full commitment in both the gospel of Jesus Christ and in our relationships, especially when I started dating the woman who is now my wife.
Commit to the Gospel
One afternoon while I was attending university, I got a call from an old friend named Givens. She and I had grown up together in Busia, and she’d just moved to the city where I was going to school. When she asked me if I could show her around town, I told her I wasn’t sure I had time that weekend. But when she followed up and asked me if I knew any churches I could recommend, I knew I needed to make the time to see her.
After Givens came to church with me, she started meeting with the missionaries. I could see her desire to learn more about the gospel. She asked amazing questions, kept all of her commitments, and became involved in our ward. She wasn’t just fulfilling the minimum requirements—she was fully invested. She got to know the ward members, attended home evening, and began making the gospel a major part of her life.
Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “Being converted unto the Lord starts with an unwavering commitment to God, followed by making that commitment part of who we are. … Eventually, this commitment becomes part of who we are, embedded in our sense of self, and ever present in our lives.”1 I could see that change happening in Givens—I could see how present the Spirit was in her life.
I was impressed with her deep commitment to the Savior’s Church. After I baptized Givens and she officially joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I couldn’t shake the thought that someone so deeply committed to the gospel would also be a wonderful and committed spouse.
So, soon after her baptism, we began dating.
Commit to Each Other
Givens and I dated for four years. We both had temple marriage as our goal. We fell more and more in love with each other and began to realize that we wanted to be together for eternity, but I was worried because I was a freelancer, so my income was not always reliable. I didn’t know if I would be able to provide for her when I didn’t have a permanent job.
But after a while, I decided I needed to make a commitment to Givens and to the Lord. As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “[The story of the rich young ruler] is a story about wholehearted, unreserved devotion to divine responsibility. With or without riches, each of us is to come to Christ with the same uncompromised commitment to His gospel that was expected of this young man.”2
Givens and I decided we would finally get married in 2023. I kept praying it would happen, even when it seemed like it wasn’t possible. But we did everything we could to make it happen, and we knew the Lord supported our efforts. And in February of 2023, we were married.
But being married civilly wasn’t enough—we also wanted to be sealed to each other. That same determination I’d seen in Givens when she was first taking the missionary discussions was crucial to getting us to the temple. She didn’t stop bringing our eternal goal up. She constantly reminded me that we needed to be sealed and make that final commitment—a covenant with each other and the Lord.
Commit to Eternity
When we were finally able to visit the Accra Ghana Temple together and be sealed, it changed our lives. Our civil marriage was wonderful, but the sealing was even more incredible. We could feel that the power binding us together was eternal and unbreakable, so long as we kept our covenants to the Lord and to each other.
In both the good times and the challenging times in our life together, pondering this eternal commitment we have to each other truly helps us fully “cleave unto” one another (Genesis 2:24).
If you are looking to strengthen your marriage and to better commit yourself to your spouse, ponder your relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and the covenants you’ve made with Them. Your continuous commitment to the gospel can help you be equally committed to your eternal companion.
It is so much easier to be equally and joyfully yoked with your spouse when you are both moving in the same direction—toward Jesus Christ.
Nothing is more comforting to me than knowing Givens and I are fully devoted to one another through covenants with each other and with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.