The Answer to All My Vexing Questions
During a difficult time, would general conference really have answers specifically for me?
After an especially difficult summer where I lost my job, suffered bouts of heightened anxiety, and experienced some emotionally complicated situations in my life, I should have been looking forward to general conference. In the past, hearing from our leaders has always been a time for me to receive revelation and make sure I’m on the right path.
But after months of feeling lost, I questioned whether any of the talks would give me any kind of new direction. I knew I would receive wonderful invitations to pray, increase my faith, read my scriptures, and attend the temple, but none of these answers felt like the personal direction I was looking for.
Find Answers in the Temple
As I sat through the sessions, I tried my best to pay attention and hear how the words of these inspired speakers could relate directly to me. There were quotes I took note of and talks that I marked for future study, but nothing was truly speaking to my soul. I began to wonder—how could they? What could these spiritual men and women of God really know about someone like me?
By the last session on Sunday afternoon, I’d decided I would have to return to study the talks later. Maybe there was something I’d missed. Or maybe the Lord just didn’t have anything to say to me directly.
But I was wrong. In the final talk, President Nelson made an apostolic promise—one that struck me to my core: “Every sincere seeker of Jesus Christ will find Him in the temple.”
I knew that alone would be an important promise in my life, but it was what he said after that stood out to me most:
“You will find answers to your most vexing questions” in the temple.
The Spirit spoke to me clearly, telling me this was the message I needed to hear.
Pondering My Vexing Questions
The word “vexing” perfectly described many of the questions in my heart: When and how could I find the right job? How would I continue to function with an anxiety disorder? What does a life in the restored Church look like for a bisexual man like me?
Trusting the Spirit and the prophet, I immediately scheduled a temple appointment as the choir sang the closing hymn. I needed to be within those sacred walls, talking with my Heavenly Father—as soon as possible.
Two days later, I was sitting in the celestial room, pondering the vexing questions in my heart, but I was answered by silence. I struggled to accept this. Although I knew that revelation came in the Lord’s time, it was He who had directed me here.
I finally decided that maybe this wasn’t the day for answers. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself, “I can always come back next week.”
The moment that thought entered my mind, a powerful feeling of peace washed over me. My eyes welled up with emotion, and the room around me seemed to fall even more silent. Then I distinctly felt the Spirit say, “You can always come back.”
You Can Always Come Back
I realized that what I needed more than specific direction was the assurance that my Heavenly Father will always be there. I needed to know that a loving Savior constantly has His arms outstretched toward me. In a physical sense, yes, I could always come back to the temple. I could always repent, even if I made mistakes that distanced me from the Spirit. But the answer I needed most was that because of Jesus Christ, I could always return to my Father, who knows and loves me best, and be held tight in His loving arms. And that revelation was exactly what I needed to hear.
I’m still praying for answers and guidance to my questions, but now I’m doing it with a renewed faith that my Savior will be waiting for me with open arms and boundless love. Whether it’s in His holy temple or His very presence, I will always be able to come back.